Prejudiced thoughts run through all our minds — the key is what we do with them

All forms of prejudice can be explained by what’s called authoritarian distancing - the belief that we are different from some group. Because they are different, they represent a threat we need to control.

When people adopt authoritarian distancing, they display three characteristics:

• The inability to take the perspective of other people.
• The inability to feel the pain of other people when you take their perspective.
• The inability to be emotionally open to the pain of others when you do feel it.

• Own your bias. Note your prejudicial thoughts or biased action. Recognize tendencies to judge others or yourself. Bring self-compassion and emotional openness to that awareness.
• Connect with other people's perspectives. Take the view of those whom your mind judges. The purpose is connection and ownership. Allow the pain of being judged or hurt to enter into you. Acknowledge how causing anyone that kind of pain goes against your values.
• Commit to change. It could mean learning to listen more, speaking out, stepping back so others can step forward, joining an advocacy group, getting to know people who belong to groups that your mind judges.