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One way to calm an anxious mind: Notice when you’re doing OK
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The fundamental sense of all-rightness
Our brains have an ongoing internal trickle of unease. This wears down our well-being, contributes to anxiety and depression, and makes us turn away from the things that matter to us. And it's based on a lie.
Stop and ask yourself: In this moment, are you still OK? Are you breathing? Is your heart working? Is your mind working? In the daily life, it's possible to access this fundamental sense of all-rightness.
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The feeling underneath all our desires
You may want more certainty or love. Or you may want less pain or heartache or unemployment.
But meanwhile, underneath all the desires and activities is an awareness that you're doing fine this second. The fear that bad things will happen if you let yourself feel OK is unfounded. You do not need to fear feeling all right.
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How to build well-being into your being
Sometimes you're really not all right. Maybe something terrible has happened, or your mind is upset.
Do what you can to ride out the storm. But as soon as possible, notice that the core of you is OK. Settling into this basic sense of okayness is a powerful way to build well-being into your being.
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Craving for normalcy
With all the 2020 events, we all want life to be normal again. While we are starting to adjust to the new normal, many of us are not adjusting in a good way. We let go of positive routines and repl...
Behavioral Activation Therapy - BAT
The idea behind BAT is that we have to do happy to feel happy. Instead of our mood changing what we do, we need to change what we do to fix our mood. The first principle of BAT is to change what you do. Engage in the right activities and positive feelings will follow.
We can't wait until we feel better before we act. Emotions perpetuate themselves. We have to move now and break the cycle of our feelings. This is how we grab hold of happiness.
The Balance Between Leisure And Mistery
- Pleasure is vital, but we want the kind that will last and not leave you even more stressed than before you started. We're looking for a deeper satisfaction that comes from truly meaningful activities like relationships, exercise, and reading.
- Mastery can be thought of as a feeling of accomplishment. Progress in goals that are meaningful to you, whether it pays the bills or not.
Create a balance between leisure activities and mastery.
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Obstacles to Getting Stuff Done
- The habit of putting off starting, because it’s uncomfortable.
- Maybe you get started, but then constantly switch to other tasks.
- You put off starting (or finishing) because con...
Picking one important thing
If you focus on getting the small stuff done but not the big stuff, or switch between tasks all the time, you’ll be less effective.
Pick one important thing to focus on at a time and learn to evaluate what tasks and projects are of higher value to you.
Starting
It's best done by focusing on the smallest first step and practicing just launching into that.
Pick the tiniest first step, and launch into it.
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How we're sitting
The childhood advice of sitting up straight, shoulders back, is incorrect.
Sitting this way takes effort. We end up arching our backs by tensing up our muscles. When we tighten them, we...
The tendency to slump
If you tend to slump, you need to learn to lengthen your back. Use the time that you're sitting to stretch yourself against the backrest.
- Sit with your bottom well back in your chair while moving your upper body away from the backrest.
- Place your fists on the front lower border of your rib cage, then gently push back on your rib cage so as to elongate your lower back.
- Then, grab some place of your chair and make yourself taller by gently pushing the top of you away from the bottom.
- In that position, put your back against the chair's backrest. Ideally, the chair would have some grippy thing mid-back to hold you.
A healthier back
For a healthier back, develop the "inner corset" core strength: the group of core muscles that support your spine. Crunches are not the best exercises for this purpose as they also crunch your discs and nerves.
You should engage particular muscles deep in the abdomen and back; then your muscles can take care of your back.