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The first step in forgiveness is to understand "why" someone acts the way they do. What are they trying to protect? What are they afraid of? What basic skills did they learn (or not learn) from their family of origin?
Understanding "why" breeds compassion and helps loosen the ties that bind us to blame.
Until we fully release our emotions, they continue to affect our present mindset.
Create new boundaries for yourself within the relationship.
This may mean you no longer see the person, end the relationship or establish new guidelines.
Fully letting go of a past transgression and completely forgiving may take many months or years.
You may have a phase of feeling better and then realize that you are still grieving or angry. Be patient. It is a process.
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