Unraveling the Mindset of Victimhood

In interpersonal conflict, all parties are motivated to maintain a positive moral self-image. However, different parties are likely to create very different subjective realities. Offenders tend to downplay the severity of the transgression, and victims tend to perceive the offenders' motivations as immoral.

The mindset one develops - as a victim or a perpetrator - affects the way the situation is perceived and remembered.

Three main cognitive biases characterize the tendency for interpersonal victimhood and contribute to a lack of willingness to forgive others for their perceived wrongdoings.

• Interpretation bias: People with a higher tendency of interpersonal victimhood perceive low offences, such as lack of help, as more severe. They also anticipate hurt in ambiguous situations.
• Attribution of hurtful behaviours: Those with a tendency for interpersonal victimhood were more likely to think an offender had harmful intentions. They were also more likely to feel a greater intensity and duration of negative emotions after a hurtful event.
• Negative memory bias: Those with a greater tendency for interpersonal victimhood recalled more words representing offensive behaviours and feelings of hurt ("anger," "betrayal") and remembering negative emotions more easily.

Researchers found those with a tendency for interpersonal victimhood were most likely to have an anxious attachment style.

Anxiously attached individuals tend to doubt their own social value and seek reassurance continually. They feel dependent on others to validate their self-esteem and worth, and at the same time, they experience complicated negative feelings.

At a group level, a collective victimhood belief can be learned through channels such as education, TV programs, and social media.

If socialization processes can form a victimhood mindset, then the same processes can instil a personal growth mindset in people.

We could learn that we are not entitled but are worthy of being treated as human. We could learn that its possible to grow from trauma and become a better person. We could shed the victimhood mindset for something more productive, constructive, and hopeful to build positive relationships with others.