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The essential skill of listening
Listening is essential if you want to have a meaningful exchange with another person.
When you listen in a way that the other person feels heard, they are more likely to relax, open up and share information with you.
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Nonverbal attending
Nonverbal attending means giving someone your full attention without speaking.
- Keep your body open to the other person. Try to be relaxed, and lean forward a bit if you're sitting.
- Maintain eye contact without looking like you are staring.
- Use simple gestures such as head nods or occasionally say "Mm-hmmm" to communicate encouragement.
- See how long you can listen without interrupting.
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How to signal you are truly listening to someone
Reflecting means repeating or rephrasing key content or meaning from the other person.
Instead of saying, "I hear you," summarise and paraphrase the content confirming that you heard them and that you accurately understood them. If you didn't quite understand what they were saying, it allows them to correct you.
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Insert questions into a conversation at the right time
As you listen, questions will come up in your head. But asking questions can interrupt the other person's thinking and derail a conversation.
- Always attend and reflect before you ask a question.
- When you do ask a question to encourage dialogue, use open-ended questions that cannot be answered with a yes or no. Keep the questions simple without trying to impress them with your exceptional question.
- Stay neutral in tone and content. A loud tone can come across as judgment.
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IDEAS CURATED BY
Harper A.'s ideas are part of this journey:
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