How to Be More Straightforward - Deepstash
How to Be More Straightforward

How to Be More Straightforward

The School of Life

24

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Straightforward People

Straightforward People

When we're around straightforward people we know exactly what the issues are from the start. They know what they want and they are not afraid to state it:

  • There is no need to guess and decode their intentions
  • If they don't want to do something, they will politely explain that it's not for them
  • If they are frustrated about something we do, they will kindly tell us (instead of pilling up anger and envy inside)
  • If they worry something might go wrong, they won't pretend that all is well
  • If they are attracted to someone, they will find ways of making their feelings known.

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The Problem With Complicated People

They are the opposite of straightforward people. They are very hesitant about the validity of their own desires and that is why they are not capable of letting the people around them know how they really feel.

  • They appear to agree with everything you are saying, but later you will find out that they had a lot of doubts
  • They will tell you they'll love to go to an event you suggested when in reality they just want to go home
  • They feel overlooked but never raise a complaint
  • They want to be understood but never speak.

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What Stops Us From Speaking Up

The root cause of our complicated behavior is not that we're bad people or manipulative. We're just afraid of how people would respond if our real intentions would be known.

  • This fear can come from our childhood, if our caregivers gave us the impression that there was no room for our honesty.
  • Maybe as kinds we felt that our parents would be very sad if we'd reveal too much of our real dreams and hopes.

The child experiencing this grows into an adult that prefers to imply rather than state.

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How To Be More Straightforward

  • We should notice and learn about the origins of our behavior
  • We can remind ourselves that our circumstances have changed: the dangers that gave birth to our complicated manner of expression are gone. People won't get upset if we tell them how we feel. And if someone does, then as a final option, we can always walk away.
  • We should be able to recognize that our complicated behavior doesn't please people in reality; most of the people we deal it would prefer to hear our true opinion, even if they get frustrated with it at first.

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CURATED BY

addison_ii

Thinker. Hipster-friendly coffee advocate. Infuriatingly humble organizer.

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