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Compelling the other person to be wrong is a terrible trait to have and can be extremely destructive in relationships. This need usually stems from the fear of being disrespected or from the fear of being seen for who you are, a flawed person that makes mistakes and is imperfect just like everyone else.
This behavior brings forth behavior that may cause anger and resentment to arise, interruption. The interrupter doesn't listen and exerts dominance while the interrupted feels belittled.
People who are driven by pleasing people are neither honest or authentic because they may say yes to things they don't really want to do just because they do not want to disagree because of the fear of being disliked.
If you find yourself to be a people-pleaser, rethink your values and ask yourself these:
When you have your core values clear, you won't be easily shaken by other's opinions or needs.
Fixers find it difficult to accept that people are allowed to be upset. They try to keep making things "all right". It is a conversation killer because sometimes people just need to express their sadness, grief, or other negative emotions.
Fixers might be this way because of their family origin where emotional expression was unacceptable. They deny the feelings that people need to feel and tend to withhold extravagant affection.
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We usually do not use something as we have unconsciously decided that it is too nice.
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There is a strategy we can use to guide us in making better decisions and reduce discrepancies when faced with challenges. The If/Then Tactic also known as Matros's Strateg...
When we start applying the If/Then tactic to our personal lives or even while working we can prevent succumbing to stress and easily think of responses towards different situations.
Envision yourself in different scenarios that you can think of and jot down the plans or actions to be taken so that you will feel less anxious. Example: If I am going to start eating healthy then I have to stop eating junk food.
People are biased whether they are conscious of it or not. Studies show that even people who deem they are not discriminatory when put in situations where they must act quickly, hidden biases can often dictate their actions and override their intentions.
When having vulnerable decision points the If/Then tactic gives us an advanced plan of action instead of making rash decisions. It helps create an impulse buffer between frustration and one's decision-making process.