The signs of unhealthy power dynamics in a relationship-and how to even them out - Deepstash

deepstash

Beta

deepstash

Beta

Deepstash brings you key ideas from the most inspiring articles like this one:

Read more efficiently

Save what inspires you

Remember anything

The signs of unhealthy power dynamics in a relationship-and how to even them out

https://bigthink.com/sex-relationships/power-in-relationships

bigthink.com

The signs of unhealthy power dynamics in a relationship-and how to even them out
Negative power imbalances in your relationship can lead to devastating outcomes. How do you define the balance of power in a relationship and how do you find a healthy power balance? The Relationship Power Inventory is a list of 28 questions designed to help you assess the power balance in your love life.

4

Key Ideas

Save all ideas

A “power imbalance” in a relationship

Power in relationships is the ability of each person in the relationship to influence each other and direct the relationship.

Being in control makes people feel good and may place the drive for rewards above the intimacy and connection we have with our partners.

817 SAVES

2.27k READS


VIEW

Negative relationship dynamics

  • The demand-withdrawal dynamic. One partner seeks change, discussion and a resolution to issues within the relationship, while the other partner is withdrawn, and tries to avoid the issues.
  • The distancer-pursuer dynamic. One person tries to achieve a certain degree of intimacy with their partner, while the other considers this affection to be "smothering."
  • The fear-shame dynamic. The fear and insecurity of one partner would bring out the shame and avoidance in the other. 

1.06k SAVES

2.19k READS


Positive power struggle

Not all power struggles are destructive. Some types of power struggles allow growth within the relationship and encourage a deeper understanding and respect for each other.

While it is still a struggle, by the end of it, you have reached an understanding about which lines can be crossed, which not, and how much each partner is able to compromise.

758 SAVES

1.40k READS


A healthy balance

Elements that produce a healthy balance in relationships:

  • Attention: The emotional needs of both partners are being met.
  • Influence: Both partners can engage with and emotionally affect the other.
  • Accommodation: Most decisions are made jointly.
  • Respect: Each partner has positive regard, respect, and admiration for the other person.
  • Selfhood: Each partner can be their own person both within and outside of the relationship.
  • Vulnerability: Each partner is willing to admit faults, weakness or uncertainties in themselves.
  • Fairness: Both partners feel that the responsibilities and duties are divided in a way that supports each person.

1.47k SAVES

2.38k READS


SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:

The Negativity Bias

The Negativity Bias
... or the Negativity Effect is a tendency most of us have to respond more strongly to negative events and emotions than to positive ones.
Any further action that is ...

Magnified Faults

The Negativity Effect magnifies and distorts your partner's faults, whether real or imaginary.

The partner starts to wonder why isn't there any appreciation for all the good that is being done, and why the focus is only on the one bad thing.

Going Downhill

Relationships, especially long-term ones, don't get better with time but are kept intact by avoiding decline.

Married couples find contentment in other sources and remain satisfied with each other, and if not so, then the marriage breaks down.

5 more ideas

Codependency

The traditional definition of codependency focuses on control, nurturing, and maintenance of relationships with individuals who are chemically dependent or engaging in undesirable behaviors, such a...

Signs of Codependency

Ask yourself these questions:

  • Does your sense of purpose involve making extreme sacrifices to satisfy your partner's needs?
  • Is it difficult to say no when your partner makes demands on your time and energy?
  • Do you cover your partner’s problems with drugs, alcohol, or the law?
  • Do you constantly worry about others’ opinions of you?
  • Do you feel trapped in your relationship?
  • Do you keep quiet to avoid arguments?

The Development of Codependency

When a child grows up in a dysfunctional home with unavailable parents, the child takes on the role of caretaker, learn to put the parents need first, and repress and disregard their own needs.

As the child becomes an adult, he or she repeats the same dynamic in their adult relationships.

Resentment builds when you don’t recognize your own needs and wants. A common behavioral tendency is to overreact or lash out when your partner lets you down.

Relationship Apocalypse

The Four Horsemen of The Relationship Apocalypse:

  • Criticism: is staging the problem in a relationship as a character flaw in a partner.
  • Defensiveness: res...

Building "Love Maps"

It means getting to know your partner really well, including his/her internal psychological world.

Ask questions, deep and personal ones. Get past“When will you be there?” or “Don’t forget to pick up milk.”

Show Admiration

Admiration is about the story you tell yourself about your partner.

Masters see their partners as better than they really are. Disasters see their partners as worse than they really are.