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How Holding On to Unrequited Love Keeps You Alone & Stuck
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Unrequited Love
It is a feeling of being obsessive or fixated about a person as if one has found an oasis in a desert of nothingness. Insisting that the relationship will work out exactly as you want can be a frustrating experience when confronted with reality.
It may seem like the person that is the object of our affection holds the key to our happiness, which is never true. It is good to know that what you are dealing with is your own mind, not the other person, and are placing your chances of happiness at something beyond your control.
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The Other Person
The other person can sense the unease, the possessive desperation, neediness, and even creepiness in you that arises from 'clinging' towards them.
Even if we play it cool, and follow the dating norms and etiquettes, the 'needy' energy can leak out of us, repelling the other person. If you are feeling like that, it is best to listen to yourself with compassion.
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Self-Examination
Being left alone or not being able to have a fulfilling relationship with one person is a perfect opportunity for self-discovery and self-examination.
Instead of waiting for the other person to suddenly start loving you (an external event you cannot control) you are much better off understanding the situation objectively, absorbing the learning it brings. Love can come from diverse sources if you are open to life, alternatives and possibilities.378 SAVES
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"Understanding someone’s suffering is the best gift you can give another person. Understanding is love’s other name. If you don’t understand, you can’t love." - Thich Nhat ...
"Understanding someone’s suffering is the best gift you can give another person. Understanding is love’s other name. If you don’t understand, you can’t love." - Thich Nhat Hanh
"… The most precious inheritance that parents can give their children is their own happiness. Our parents may be able to leave us money, houses, and land, but they may not be happy people...
"… The most precious inheritance that parents can give their children is their own happiness. Our parents may be able to leave us money, houses, and land, but they may not be happy people. If we have happy parents, we have received the richest inheritance of all." - Thich Nhat Hanh
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The faulty logic
We usually consider moving into marriage in an attempt to preserve and prolong the happy romantic feelings that characterize the early stages of almost all relationships.
But in most cases, ther...
Unrealistic expectations
The gap between expectation and reality is the cause for many of life’s disappointments.
We like to create detailed fantasies of how our lives are going to be. But when we expect our reality to match a fantasy but life turns out nothing like it, we feel disappointed.
Asking the right questions
"Are you the right person for me?" is the wrong question to ask, because nothing outside of ourselves can fix us or bring us happiness.
A more constructive question to ask would be "Can I accommodate your imperfections with humor and grace?"
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Key Ideas
Rekindling the Fire
Many couples have reached a cozy state of companionship. The humdrumness of life affects the long-term relationship.
It is not uncommon to lose the 'fire' and is unrealistic to expect consis...
Love Progression
As the initial stage of love fades away, a deeper, richer sense of each other should take its place, and couples can find more ways to make things interesting and fun.
Look With New Eyes
Staying curious about each other and finding things, memories, places, and activities that are yet to be shared or experienced together is a great way to rekindle the relationship.
Revisiting your past and finding ways to connect better by looking at the other with 'new' eyes makes us see many things that were overlooked earlier.