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10 Science-Backed First Date Tips To Make Your Date Great

https://www.scienceofpeople.com/first-date-tips/

scienceofpeople.com

10 Science-Backed First Date Tips To Make Your Date Great
Congratulations, you've worked up the courage to ask out that special someone and they've said yes. Now comes the really hard part: planning your first date. I know this can be super nerve-wracking. You want to plan your date to make sure you have a great time and show how much you're interested.

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The right place for your first rendez-vous

When choosing the right place for your first date, take into account the risk that things might not work miraculously well from the first try. Therefore, better go for simple places, like pubs, for which you do not have to save one entire month of salary in order to afford the dinner or the clothes.

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Keep the conversation going

If you are planning your first date with somebody, make sure to pay a special attention to the topics you want to engage in throughout the date. Keep the conversation smart and the exchange of experiences alive.

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Shape your mindset

When going on a first date, make sure your mindset is a positive one, no matter what your previous dating experiences felt like. Embrace the fear of a possible failure while hoping for a pleasant outcome.

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Turn past experiences into valuable lessons

When preparing for a first date, try to think about whatever went wrong on your previous dates. Once you have those memories back, turn them into lessons that can help you improve and show your best self.

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Paint the best picture of yourself

Whenever you present yourself for a first time to another person, make sure that they have exactly the image that you want them to have of you. Ask for your friends' help if necessary, as they are probably the persons who know you the best.

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Body language on a date

Your body language can say more about you than your words will ever. Therefore, make sure that the other one understands exactly what you want him or her to understand when you are on a date by taking into account the following techniques: mirroring, fronting and leaning.

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Arose your date's interest

Making sure your date perceives you as being intelligent is a great way to ensure the success of the future relationship. So do not step back from showing to your date how curious you are whenever they bring on a topic you know nothing about. On the other hand, do not be afraid of telling tell stories about your passions. Make them realize just how interesting your can be!

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Compatibility in a relationship

While everybody is familiar with the fact that the opposites attract, it has been many times now stated that having a partner who does not possess the same traits as you can actually enable your relationship to strengthen. Therefore, do not feel afraid to try being with somebody who is so very much different than you, as you might end up discovering that you two can pretty much make a great team by completing each other.

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Keep the fire burning

Keeping the fire burning in a relationship is related to the attraction the partners feel for each other, at all levels. One great piece of advice would be to make sure you are self-confident both for your relationship's sake and for your own. Self-confidence and self-compassion make a great team whenever combined.

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Make your own destiny

Whenever it comes to relationships, nothing is ever sure. When met with failure, most individuals tend to take it as something dramatic, that they cannot change. However, research has shown that one can indeed create his or her own destiny, by setting certain rules and playing by them. And sometimes the result is just fascinating to see.

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Build trust in your relationship

All relationships should be based on trust above everything else. Research has shown that one sure way to build trust in a relationship is by sharing the same taste in food as your partner. You might want to give it a try, as it has seldom proven wrong.

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A Definition of values

A Definition of values

 “(Values) are the principles that give our lives meaning and allow us to persevere through adversity” 

- The Self-Confidence Workbook.&...

Choosing Core Values

  1. Choose your top 6-8 values from a wide-ranging list of values.
  2. Think of three to six people you most admire or love. Consider why they are so important to you. 

  3. See a career counsellor as they are able to help match their clients to a compatible career area.

  4. Use an online values inventory. 
  5. Observe yourself and learn. If you experience a lot of dissatisfaction with your choices, you may not be living up to your values or you may need to re-evaluate what is most important to you.
  6. Focus on the bitter and the sweet in your life. These moments could direct you to what you care about most.

Difficult Choices

At times two cherished values will be in conflict.  

Knowing why you are choosing Value 1 instead of Value 2 in that instance can be helpful in resolving any inner conflict you may feel.  

Choose Your Top Values

Select your top six to eight values. Some of these values may change as you face new situations.

Examples of values: financial security, compassion, health/fitness, nature, accomplishment,...

Think of the people you admire

Values can be personified in people that you love and admire. Identifying the specific values embodied by your heroes can inspire you to adopt those values for yourself. To uncover the values that you associate with your loved ones and role models:

  • Identify and write down six people who are important role models or valued connections for you.
  • Think of the values they embody. 

See a Career Counselor

Your values are a major determinant of career choice, work decisions, and career transitions, as each may lead you down a different career path. 

That’s why career counselors have a large toolbox of strategies and inventories, including values inventories to help match their clients to a compatible career area.

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You have an eye on the exit

You avoid anything that leads to a bigger commitment. You're always wondering: "if it goes wrong, how can I extricate myself easily from this relationship?

Because comm...

You gaslight your partner

The aim of Gaslighting is to deny the other person's reality or experiences. It is a sign that you don't really believe your partners' feelings are real. 

For example, if your partner says: "I'm really upset that you canceled our date", you respond with something like: "You're not really upset, it's your fault I canceled and you're just trying to blame me for it." 

You are known as a "serial dater"

You break up with partners on the slightest of issues, only to start dating another person right away and repeat the cycle. 

You don't want to be seen as a "player" but you can't seem to find someone who you can commit to.