How to let go of a lifelong dream | Psyche Guides - Deepstash

deepstash

Beta

deepstash

Beta

Deepstash brings you key ideas from the most inspiring articles like this one:

Read more efficiently

Save what inspires you

Remember anything

How to let go of a lifelong dream | Psyche Guides

https://psyche.co/guides/how-to-let-go-of-a-lifelong-dream-and-redirect-your-passion

psyche.co

How to let go of a lifelong dream | Psyche Guides
Adaptability is as much of a virtue as grit. Overcome any feelings of loss or failure by pivoting toward a new passion

6

Key Ideas

Save all ideas

When lifelong dreams crumble

When lifelong dreams crumble

All of us have hopes and dreams for the future that become part of our identity. But then reality gets in the way. Your passion may fade, or the obstacles to realising the dream may become too big to overcome. You may have feelings of regret and failure, or fear how others will judge you.

We should take comfort in knowing that being adaptable and flexible in our ambitions is just as important as being gritty and determined.

90 SAVES

406 READS


VIEW

Come to terms with your decision

As you let go of your dream, you may fear you're making a mistake.

  • There's no calculus for knowing when to give up. If pursuing your dream comes at great personal cost to your relationships and other goals in life (which is different from a 'harmonious passion'), that would suggest it was wise to give it up.
  • Success is not all or nothing. You may not have fulfilled your dream, but you likely learned much along the way, giving you a chance to redirect your energy and passions in new ways.

81 SAVES

221 READS


Goal adjustment capacity

Psychologists see goal adjustment capacity as a beneficial form of 'self-regulation' or 'self-management.'

It contains two parts:

  1. The ability to disengage from fruitless goals
  2. The ability to know when and how to change to new, more productive goals.

Those who are flexible and adaptable are generally happier, perform better. They often get promoted. If you are thinking of giving up your dream, it suggests you have a healthy willingness to adjust and adapt.

89 SAVES

293 READS


Be realistic about what you're giving up

Giving up your dream will hurt, at least for a time. To drop this vision of your future-self is to drop a piece of you.

To help you move on, It helps to focus on the negative implications of your dream. If we are realistic, many of our dreams are romanticised. We may think of doctors as healing people, but their daily reality is far more mundane.

78 SAVES

206 READS


Find a new passion

When letting go of an impossible dream, you're freeing yourself up for a potentially more rewarding project.

If you dreamed of playing professional football, you could become a coach (and still play for your local club at the weekends). Or you might find a completely different direction more appealing.

75 SAVES

173 READS


Moving on from past dreams

You can relieve the sense of regret you feel about giving up a dream by doing the following exercise:

  • On the first day, spend some time writing about friends and peers you know have regrets about dreams they've let go.
  • On day two, write about the external factors beyond your control that led to you giving up a dream.
  • On day three, write about your new dreams, why they're exciting and enjoyable, and how they benefit others in your life or community.

78 SAVES

208 READS


SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:

Passionate vs. standard workers

Passionate vs. standard workers

There is one truth that applies to everybody and to all fields: passion leads to meaningful results.

Passion is also what makes the difference between employees: while a standard emplo...

Discover your passion

In order to be able to be happy, one should do what he or she likes as work. However, not always what we are drawn to can bring us money.

If you are willing to pursue your hobby and make profit out of it, you should first make sure that doing what you like can actually help you live a decent life. Therefore, if you do have a hobby, you might want to consider checking out if there is a real market for it. For almost everything that is well presented there can be a market. So go on and take your chance!

Decide on a field

Once you have committed to turning your passion into something profitable, the next step is to carefully research the options: check if there is a real demand for your offer, have a a look at what competition has to offer, etc.

Furthermore, maybe the most important is to find ways to innovate. This way, you will develop your competitive spirit and gain clients while learning to become better in the chosen field.

2 more ideas

Move Past Regret

Move Past Regret

Dwelling in regret and despair over the past mistakes and failures isn’t productive. 

Use the same energy to realize and move forward with your dreams. Use your limited brain cycles wise...

The Stigma Of Failure

Don’t let failure ruin your self-esteem, or stop you from achieving your goals. Initial setbacks and mistakes are natural and instructive. 

Almost every great person has experienced failure before achieving extraordinary success.

Our competitive Advantage

We all are unique and have tremendous value. It’s always good to understand and embrace your individuality, instead of curbing it for fitting in the status quo. Our differences are often our competitive advantages.

Impostor syndrome

Impostor syndrome

It's the idea that you’ve only succeeded due to luck, and not because of your talent or qualifications.

What causes the impostor syndrome

We have no idea what causes the impostor syndrome. But we all suffer from it It may have to with:

  • Personality traits, like anxiety or neuroticism
  • Family or behavioral causes, like childhood memories (such as feeling that your grades were never good enough for your parents)
  • The environment or institutionalized discrimination.

How to deal with impostor syndrome

  • Acknowledge the thoughts and put them in perspective: Simply observing that thought as opposed to engaging it can be helpful.
  • Reframe your thoughts: The difference between someone who experiences impostor syndrome and someone who does not is how they respond to challenges.
  • Share what you’re feeling with trusted friends or mentors: People who have more experience can reassure you that what you’re feeling is normal.