What People (Still) Get Wrong About Emotional Intelligence - Deepstash

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What People (Still) Get Wrong About Emotional Intelligence

https://hbr.org/2020/12/what-people-still-get-wrong-about-emotional-intelligence

hbr.org

What People (Still) Get Wrong About Emotional Intelligence
It’s not just about being nice.

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Emotional Intelligence ≠ "Being Nice"

Emotional Intelligence ≠ "Being Nice"

Many of us believe that having emotional intelligence means being “nice.” But this belief conceals some fundamental benefits to developing one’s EI.

For example, simply saying someone is nice can belie the fact that they’re only nice to some people and not others. Niceness is also interpreted as someone who tries to avoid confrontations and is thus easily manipulable.

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The Components Of Emotional Intelligence

They are: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management.

None of these is aligned with “niceness.” In fact, being skilled in each of the four components of emotional intelligence would allow you to have confrontations when you need to, and to do it more strategically and productively.

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Emotional Intelligence In Confrontations

  • Strong self-awareness and self-management would let you control your initial impulses or any anxiety you might have around a hard conversation.
  • A highly developed sense of empathy (part of social awareness) would allow you see the situation from the other person’s point of view.
  • Handling conflict is an important part of relationship management. You’d say what you have to say, clearly and strongly, and in a way the other person can hear.

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Three Kinds Of Empathy

  • Cognitive: "I know how you think."
  • Emotional: "I know how you feel."
  • Empathetic concern: "I care about you."

They reside in different parts of the brain:

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SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:

Emotional Intelligence( EQ/EI)

Is the measure of an individual’s abilities to recognise and manage their emotions, and the emotions of other people, both individually and in groups.

Benefits of a higher EQ

  • Ease in forming and maintaining interpersonal relationships and in ‘fitting in’ to group situations.
  • A better understanding one's own psychological state, which can include managing stress effectively and being less likely to suffer from depression.

IQ and EQ

There is no correlation between IQ and EQ scores.

IQ has no connection with how people understand and deal with their emotions and the emotions of others (EQ). 

You simply can’t predict emotional intelligence based on how smart someone is.

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The 5 components of EI

  1. Self-Awareness: understanding of one’s emotions.
  2. Self-Regulation: it frees us from being prisoners of our feelings.
  3. Motivation: having an ...

There are 3 types of empathy

  • Emotional empathy: “You feel awful? Then I feel awful too!”
  • Cognitive empathy: “I understand that you are feeling awful. That must suck.”
  • Compassion: “You feel awful? I feel for you. How can I help?”

Compassion is what we focus on for emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence

It's the ability to accurately perceive your own and others’ emotions, to understand the signals that emotions send about relationships, and to manage your own and others’ emotions.

Emotional Intelligence (EI)

Emotional Intelligence (EI)

EI means the mastery of emotional competencies. 

That includes self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management.

Questions to Measure EI in interviews

  • How do you establish trust? An environment with trust promotes higher working engagement
  • If you worked for your top competitor, how would you beat yourself?  This question could show the candidate's ability to put the good of the organization ahead their own pride.
  • Can you use a belief statement to explain the value of what we offer? Ask a belief statement that gets at the heart of what an organization or team offers.