What People (Still) Get Wrong About Emotional Intelligence

Many of us believe that having emotional intelligence means being “nice.” But this belief conceals some fundamental benefits to developing one’s EI.

For example, simply saying someone is nice can belie the fact that they’re only nice to some people and not others. Niceness is also interpreted as someone who tries to avoid confrontations and is thus easily manipulable.

They are: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management.

None of these is aligned with “niceness.” In fact, being skilled in each of the four components of emotional intelligence would allow you to have confrontations when you need to, and to do it more strategically and productively.