Learn more about personaldevelopment with this collection
How to handle conflicts
How to identify and regulate emotions
How to develop self-awareness
Avoiding painful feelings
Saying "I'm fine" is a form of avoidance. You may say you are fine to protect yourself from painful feelings.
Generally, codependents are uncomfortable with emotions and try to suppress them. After years of suppressing their feelings, they may be unaware of them. They say I'm fine because they don't recognise how they feel.
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Avoiding conflicts
We also say I'm fine to avoid strife. We don't share our thoughts because someone might get angry with us.
We may also desire to be even-tempered. We don't want to cause conflict because it might drive people away. We may think that people won't like us if we have complicated feelings and would rather pretend to be fine and never complain about anything.
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573 reads
Avoiding our problems
Pretending we don't have any issues can be a form of denial. We want everyone to think we're doing great because we're afraid of the embarrassment and judgment that might come if people knew we're struggling. We also ignore our problems because they're overwhelming, and we don't know how to solve them.
But, while avoiding issues is easier, we know it isn't an effective long-term solution.
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Overcoming avoidance and denial
If you are used to denying your feelings and problems, it can be difficult to look at them. However, if we want to have better relationships, we have to acknowledge that we're not okay and are possibly hurt, afraid, or angry.
To move out of denial, start with acknowledging your feelings. This can be done through journaling. Try not to judge your emotions as it provides valuable insight. Instead, consider why you're feeling a particular way.
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