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āIt is not greed that drives the world, but envy.ā
The first step to deal with an uncomfortable feeling is acceptance.
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Whenever you feel like punching someone, itās useful to take a deep breath, pause, and ask yourself the following questions:
Detach yourself from the situation, and imagine youāre a neutral third party observing from the outside.Ā Like an invisible angel, watching yourself and taking notes ā trying to figure out why you do certain things
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Ask yourself:
āIf I could swap my life completely for his/hers, including not just the good stuff, but all the bad things ā would I?ā
You donāt want someone elseās life. You just like fantasizing about it.
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Jealousy comes from feelings of inadequacy. Remember, if we feel like weāre not enough ā thatās when we start looking outside at other people.
Gratitude is such a powerful tool that lots of researchers have studied it and proven one thing: it just makes people happier.
So hereās a powerful exercise to do: every time you feel jealous, take out your phone and quickly note down three things youāre thankful for. Shift your focus away from the external, but look at whatās already good in your life.
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āThe secret of happiness, you see, is not found in seeking more, but in developing the capacity to enjoy less.ā
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Reach out to him/her and humbly ask toĀ learnĀ from them. And then, maybe we become friends. And eventually, the jealousy falls away to become something better ā like respect.
In this world of mistrust, itās not isolation that will save us ā itās dialogue and empathy.
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āWhen you envy someone, you put a wall up between yourself and the things about that person you envy.
If they have a good job, thereās now a new wall between you and getting a good job. Why? Because you are programming yourself to dislike people who have good jobs.āļ»æ.ā
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Weāre looking for here is someone who will listen and empathize with you. And then lend you some non-judgmental emotional support (plus a hug maybe?).
He/she doesnāt even need to give you advice on how to solve your problems. If itās jealousy ā technically, thereās no external problem to solve anyway.
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Loving yourself is the ultimate antidote for jealousy. Because then you realize that everything external you were looking for can actually be found within you.
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