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De-escalate Office Tension

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De-escalate Office Tension

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3 Forces that make our model of the world

3 Forces that make our model of the world

  1. Driving force - Motive. What's your target? It's not your desires because achieving desire as a goal makes us feel "is there all that is for me"... it's the 6 human needs we have - certainity, uncertainty/variety, significance, love/connection, growth, contribution.
  2. Guiding force - Meaning. Your belief systems that tell you how to get those needs.... by destroying or creating?
  3. The fuel - We on average only experience 12 of the 6,000 words for human emotions in English language. The quality of our life is the quality of our emotions - our dominant emotions.


194 reads

3 Decisions that shape our destiny

3 Decisions that shape our destiny

If we can get the right emotions, we can get ourselves to do anything.... determined enough to find the way.

  1. What are you going to focus on? (focus = feeling) Focus gives it meaning, & meaning brings out emotions.
  2. What does it mean? (Is it the end or the beginning). Is it a punishment or a reward? This brings out action.
  3. What are you going to do? Give up or move forward?

 If different decisions = different life, then we've all had moments of decision that have shaped us... decided the direction or quality of our life, our destiny.


58 reads

The 6 human needs

The 6 human needs

  • Our leading need decides our direction & so leads to a different destination or destiny. 
  • The map or beliefs about what needs to be done to meet those needs.

6 Human needs-

  1. Certainty - Certainty to avoid pain or at least be comfortable.
  2. Uncertainity - We need variety, surprise, excitement.
  3. Significance - Feel important, special, unique.
  4. Connection & love - intimacy, friendship, prayer, walking in nature
  5. Growth - else, life becomes stagnant.
  6. Contribute - beyond ourselves. A calling. Life is not about me, but about we.  

The last 2 are the needs of the spirit and this is where fulfilment comes.


47 reads

2 Master lessons in life

2 Master lessons in life

  1. The science of achievement - you take the invisible & make it visible, take your dream & make it happen.
  2. The art of fulfillment - appreciation & contribution. You can only feel so much by yourself.

The defining factor for success or failure is never resources, it's resourcefulness.

Resources - Time, money, technology, contacts, experience, management.

Resourcefulness - Creativity, determination, love/caring, curiosity, passion, resolve.


75 reads

Emotional fitness

Emotional fitness

Psychological strength or emotional fitness is the difference that decides the quality of our life, of our ability to perform.

2 invisible forces shapes us

  • Short term - Our physical or emotional state in the moment, like "I can't believe I said that" or "yeah, that was me"... it's not ability, its state.
  • Long term - Our model of the world is the filter. Our world view shapes our meaning, emotion, & action. 

If we want to influence anybody, we need to know what already influences them, 'appreciate' what's driving them...because that's the only way the world's going to change.


75 reads

What causes the difference in people's quality of life

What causes the difference in people's quality of life

Decision is the ultimate power... putting your knowledge and understanding into practice.

What makes the difference in the quality of people's lives, & their performance? What shapes our ability to contribute - why sometimes people with all end up in despair but those who have gone through the toughest times, overcome those & contribute so much to the greater good?

Because, it's your decisions that shape your destiny, not your conditions.

But most people think biography is destiny, our past defines our life, our present.


45 reads

Invisible forces that shape us

Invisible forces that shape us

Effective leaders can consistently move themselves & others into action because they understand the 'invisible forces' that shape us. 

Internal drive... emotion is the force of life. It shapes our actions & the results we create.

 We can rationalise anything, we can make anything happen with our mind.

But, we don't work in our self-interest all the time because when emotion comes into the context, the wiring changes.


41 reads

7 Categories of beliefs

7 Categories of beliefs

  1. Global beliefs
  2. Identity
  3. Values
  4. Rules
  5. Vehicles
  6. Situational specific beliefs
  7. Metaprograms


75 reads


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