How to deflect nosy questions, stop advice-givers, fend off criticism and more
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When sharing some problem or news with friends or family who are quick to give their opinion, set them up for success by starting with a qualifier like:
When someone makes a rude comment and then says, “I’m just being honest,” it isn't always constructive criticism or even true.
Someone who gives you genuinely constructive criticism is actually rooting for you. If you respect this person & know them to be genuine, you will likely be open to their feedback.
If not, then you can say -
“What you call ‘honesty’, I call you ‘giving me your unsolicited opinion and criticism’. Please don’t.”
We don’t owe anyone our personal information, especially not to satisfy their curiosity. If the person persists, repeat your stock answer.
It can be helpful to buy some time to analyze the situation and figure out what we want exactly.
Often, if you can open up a conversation, the rest will flow.
Basic conversation starters to get the ball rolling for a difficult :
● “I thought you should know . . .”
●“I need to share my experience of what went down, because I’d like you to understand how I feel and where I am coming from . . .”
Formula: “When I see/experience ______________, I feel ______________ because my need for ______________ is not met. Would you be willing to ______________?”
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