How to deflect nosy questions, stop advice-givers, fend off criticism and more

When sharing some problem or news with friends or family who are quick to give their opinion, set them up for success by starting with a qualifier like:

•  “I love that you are always game to help me out. What I’d appreciate right now is for you to listen and have faith I’ll come to the answer on my own.”
• “At the moment, I’m not looking for feedback. I would love it if you could just lend a compassionate ear.”

When someone makes a rude comment and then says, “I’m just being honest,” it isn't always constructive criticism or even true.

Someone who gives you genuinely constructive criticism is actually rooting for you. If you respect this person & know them to be genuine, you will likely be open to their feedback.

If not, then you can say -

“What you call ‘honesty’, I call you ‘giving me your unsolicited opinion and criticism’. Please don’t.”

Often, if you can open up a conversation, the rest will flow. 

Basic conversation starters to get the ball rolling for a difficult :

● “I thought you should know . . .”

●“I need to share my experience of what went down, because I’d like you to understand how I feel and where I am coming from . . .”

Formula: “When I see/experience ______________, I feel ______________ because my need for ______________ is not met. Would you be willing to ______________?”