Comparing ourselves to others
It allows them to drive our behavior.
Sometimes it’s about something genetic/physical (wishing to be taller for example), but more often it’s about something the other person is capable of doing that we wish we could do as well. Sometimes this comparison is motivating and sometimes it’s destructive.
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Life becomes about being a better version of yourself. And your effort and energy go toward upgrading your personal operating system every day, not worrying about what your coworkers are doing, for example.
“The big question about how people behave is whether they’ve got an inner scorecard or an outer scorecard. It helps if you can be satisfied with an inner scorecard.”
Not only are we unhappy but the other people are as well. They are probably comparing themselves to you.
At worst, when we compare ourselves to others we end up focusing our energy on bringing them down instead of raising ourselves up.
... but you can’t be everything. When we compare ourselves to others, we’re often comparing their best features against our average ones.
It’s like being right-handed and trying to play an instrument with your left hand.
Individuals have always had the tendency to compare themselves to others. However, this can only have negative effects on our life: it deprives you of joy, it makes you lose precious time that could have been better used otherwise, it results in frustration and hate towards the one you are comparing yourself with and even towards yourself.
A social comparison happens when we are measuring ourselves by the success or the failures of others. We all use social comparisons to motivate ourselves.
The first step to stop seeking approval of others is to become aware that we are stuck on doubt, insecurity, or uncertainty. We must recognize that our actions (of seeking approval) comes from the emotions and beliefs that arise within us.
Once you become aware of how often you're seeking approval from others, you can begin to work on yourself from within.
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