Practice self-awareness - Deepstash

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Practice self-awareness

If you notice yourself slipping and not sustaining your boundaries, ask yourself what's changed. Find out what you do have control over and what you are going to do about it.

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Be direct

With some people, maintaining healthy boundaries doesn’t require a direct and clear-cut dialogue.

There are other times you might need to be frank, such as with those who have a different personality or cultural background.

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Seek support

Seek support

If you’re having a hard time with boundaries, seek some support: a support group, church, counseling, coaching or good friends.

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Consider your past and present

Consider how you were raised along with your role in your family. These can become additional obstacles in setting and preserving boundaries.

Is there a healthy give and take with the people you surround yourself with?

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Name your limits

You can’t set good boundaries if you’re unsure of where your limits are.

Identify what you can permit and accept and what makes you feel uncomfortable or stressed.

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Start small

Communicating your boundaries takes practice.

Start with a small boundary that isn’t threatening to you, and then incrementally increase to more challenging boundaries.

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Tune into your feelings

There are two key feelings that are red flags that you are letting go of your boundaries.

  • Discomfort. Ask yourself what is causing the discomfort.
  • Resentment. Resentment usually comes from being taken advantage of or not appreciated.

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Make self-care a priority

Putting yourself first gives you the energy, peace of mind and positive outlook to be more present with others and be there for them. 

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Be assertive

It’s important to communicate with the other person when they’ve crossed a boundary.

Let the other person know what in particular is bothersome to you. Do it respectfully and work together to address it.

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Give yourself permission

We might fear the other person’s response if we set and enforce our boundaries.

Boundaries aren’t just a sign of a healthy relationship; they’re a sign of self-respect. Give yourself permission to set boundaries.

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