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The problem isn't that life is unfair - it's your broken idea of fairness

Fairness is self-interest

We think the judgements of our bosses and parents and politicians are unfair and silly because they don't agree with us. And we believe they should agree with us.

However, most of them are just trying to do their best, under different circumstances to your own.

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The problem isn't that life is unfair - it's your broken idea of fairness

The problem isn't that life is unfair - it's your broken idea of fairness

https://oliveremberton.com/2014/the-problem-isnt-that-life-is-unfair-its-your-broken-idea-of-fairness/

oliveremberton.com

4

Key Ideas

Life is a competition

We are all in competition, even if we prefer to discount it. Our achievements are only evident relative to others. You swam further, dance better, or got more Facebook Likes. 

We should recognize that there is competition going on. People interview to win jobs. And the best is only available to those who are willing to compete and fight for it.

You’re judged by your actions

We are judged by what we can do for others. For instance, saving children or removing a tumor.  Social reward is just a network effect. Reward comes down mostly to the number of people you impact.

However, we judge ourselves differently. We judge ourselves by our thoughts. “I’m a good person”. “I’m better than this.” 

Fairness is self-interest

We think the judgements of our bosses and parents and politicians are unfair and silly because they don't agree with us. And we believe they should agree with us.

However, most of them are just trying to do their best, under different circumstances to your own.

Life isn’t fair

Life would not work if it were "fair" to everyone. Companies would only fail if everyone who worked for them were evil. Relationships would only end when both partners died simultaneously.

Most of us are so blinded by how we think the world should work that we fail to see how it does work. You can only unlock your potential when you face reality.

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Belonging To A group

Quickest way to add meaning to your life is to see your group of people more often. 

Not part of a group? Join one. No groups to join? Start one. It’s as easy as texting people to...

Give Your Work A Purpose

It is less about what you do and more about how you see what you do.

Qualities a purpose needs:

  • It's a stable and far-reaching goal. You need something that motivates you and that you can organize your actions around.
  • It involves a contribution to the world. It makes a difference in the lives of people who don’t happen to be you.

Craft Your Story

You have a story you tell yourself about your life — whether you realize it or not.

A trend in the stories that people with meaningful lives tell themselves -  redemption stories: the tellers move from suffering to salvation — they experience a negative event followed by a positive event that resulted from the negative event and therefore gives their suffering some meaning.

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Things that should be taught in every school

  1. Personal finance: credit cards, savings and retirement;
  2. Relationships: communication, consent, sexuality;
  3. Logic and Reasoning: Logical progressions; 

Financial illiteracy is a really big problem

If you have a society full of people buying crap they can’t afford, retiring with no savings, getting sick and not being able to afford health care, that screws all of us in a major way.

Few things influence our lives as much as our relationships do

Learning how to exercise some conscious control of how you express your emotions and intimacy is possibly the most life-changing skill set you’ll ever come across.

3 more ideas

Playing by your rules

If you believe that playing by your own rules is a good philosophy for your life, then it’s important to believe the same applies to others. 

Setting your own rules

Gaining control of your own world is a liberating thing, but giving it up elsewhere feels risky and uncomfortable. If you want others to give up their stake in how you run yours, then you have to give up your stake in how they run theirs. 

Don’t think you’re too special

You’re unique but in the kind of way that everyone else is. When you discover you know a thing or two about something important to you, do what you can to help others take advantage of your knowledge, but don’t set the rules for how they have to use it.