In order to have more meaningful conversations, ask questions that start with “who,” “what,” “where,” “when,” “how,” or “why”.  Good: “What would you do?” Bad: "Do you think I  should do X?"Words like “would,” “should,” “is,” “are,” and “do you think,” must be avoided as they can decrease how people respond to you.

How to get great responses

The human brain can only hold on to four things at a time. It means that if you have a point to argue and continue for a long time, the person will remember very little of it.Instead, speak briefly, maybe 30 seconds worth, because that is all people can take in.

Brevity in speech

Using too many adverbs - words to describe actions and objects - can make the reader lose interest.A person that “meanders” it is more accurate than “walking slowly.”Using too many unnecessary words can even make a person lose trust. On a high level, using fewer words builds trust.

Avoid adverbs in speech and writing

Negative arguments have a harmful effect on our brain. When you discuss any particular issue, make three positive comments for every negative statement.  It will create opportunity for a more constructive dialogue.

Arguments: Use a 3-to-1 ratio 

The myth purports that we use 55% body language, 38% tone of voice and 7% actual words.The research of Professor Mehrabian had nothing to do with speech, but to guess emotion based on the recordings of a single word.  Actual words "must dominate by a wide margin", argues famous author Philip Yaffe.
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Words only count 7% Myth

Our brain uses two separate areas to identify the mood and the real meaning of the words. Words are passed to the left temporal lobe of the brain for processing, and intonation is channelled to the right side of the brain, a region more stimulated by music.

Our brain while listening to words

<ol><li>You - or your name. A person's name is the most important sound in any language.</li><li>Free. All people naturally like to go for the free stuff.</li><li>Because. Giving a reason, even a weak reason, is more persuasive than giving no reason.</li><li>Instantly or even fast. Words like these switch on our mid-brain activity that makes us jump at it.</li><li>New</li></ol>

The 5 Most persuasive words

The 'to be' verbs like "she is, I am, they are" creates mental anguish because it reduces us to a single concept. X = Y   "She is depressed"  or “I am a failure”.   Accepting this language limits us to believe we are nothing more or less than the idea we identified ourselves with.Change statements to produce different outcomes. "She looks depressed" or, "I think I've failed."

Remove "is" from your language

Smiling is one of the most powerful elements when thinking about speech. The smiley face is rated with the highest positive emotional content. The painting of the Mona Lisa with her contented smiled is one such example.

Facial expression in speech

One of the things I fuss about a lot (especially at Buffer) are words-very simple words, in fact. Should it say "Hi" or "Hey?" Should it be "cheers" or "thanks?" How about "but" or "and? " There are many occasions when Joel and I sit over one line and change it multiple times, until we feel it really sits right.

Arguments: Use a 3-to-1 ratio

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