Remember, the customer service representative isn't personally responsible for the problem you're calling about. When you speak to a representative, establish that you don't blame them for the problem.

Separate the Person from The Problem

<ul>
<li>Being stuck on an endless call-transfer loop from department to department can be frustrating. But don't lose your cool. You can show your annoyance without blowing up.</li>
<li>Remind the representative you're not angry with them personally, and say something like: I'm really frustrated. I just want to tell you what's been my experience so far!</li>
<li>It should go without saying – but remember to be nice! Lying or screaming isn't going to get you what you want.</li>
<li>You are trying to show empathy and get empathy in return. When you need to move somebody emotionally, then you can move what their decisions are.</li>
</ul>

Don't Lie – Be True to Who You Are, While Also Being Respectful

If you're met with a wall of business-sounding script from the representative, try to remind them that you're both humans. Use the representative's name when you talk to them. You can even mention what's around your surroundings to give them a brief glimpse into your life.Now that's two humans talking as opposed to a customer service representative and a person they have to deal with.

Show Vulnerability

It can be awkward to ask for what you want. One way to make the situation less of a tug-of-war and more of a collaboration: try using  "caretaking" statements, like "I appreciate you being patient with me as we figure this thing out."You're not losing focus on the problem at hand, but you're also signalling the work they're doing to help you. This kind of language can preemptively keep tension low so you and the representative can focus on problem-solving together.

Give Caretaking Statements

Calibrated questions are that give the customer service representative a chance to pause and take your perspective.You can ask, "what would you do in my situation?" or "I really wasn't expecting to wake up to this unexpected charge – what do you think I should do next?" This helps them collaborate with you instead of having a standoff.A quick way to lose trust? Asking for their manager. Instead, you want to have the representative advocate for you to their manager – and they can't do that if you're threatening to get them in trouble with their boss.

Calibrated Questions: Make Them Your Ally

Asking to speak to the manager isn't going to get the results you want. In this episode, negotiation consultant Craig dos Santos gives tips on how to make a customer service representative your collaborator instead of your enemy.

Give Caretaking Statements

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