Think Before You Speak - Deepstash

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Six Stoic Ways to Effectively Use Silence

Think Before You Speak

In a social gathering or a serious discussion:

  • Have control over what you say. 
  • Slow down.
  • Instead of blurting out whatever comes to your mind, take a pause and evaluate.

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Timing Is Everything

We have to go after what we want, but sometimes life differs from our expectations. The environment, the circumstances, and other people may all have incompatibilities that do not coincide with our dreams.

Sometimes it takes time for all the variables to line up and to work in your favor. Timing is everything; and only when you are patient, humble and dedicated, can success be attained.

Live And Flourish

Only say what is important, do not try to explain to others how much you know or how much you have accomplished. Show them through your actions and work towards not been affected by their opinion.

A happy person who has something that you lack will never show it off. Humility builds character; it allows one to grow and prosper without stressing about what others think. 

Understand Yourself Through Discipline

We must not forget to reflect on how we truly feel, to assess what we are aiming for and if we are capable of reaching what’s best for us.

Look towards others for guidance, but don’t forget we experience life differently and comparing yourself to others leads to a less satisfying life. It takes strength to be set on your goals, but it takes even more strength to accept that plans change and that your well-being is more important than the plan you made a few years ago.

Stoic Philosophy

Stoicism acknowledges the challenges we face and teaches us practical lessons so that we may overcome whatever stands in our way. By taking a practical approach to happiness, we learn how to maintain it for longer periods of time and help others do the same. 

Epictetus
Epictetus

Don’t seek for everything to happen as you wish it would, but rather wish that everything happens as it actually will—then your life will flow well.

Suffering and Desire

Buddha taught that there is suffering in this world, it is inevitable, and the root cause of suffering is mainly the desires we feel.

We want something, always, and feel miserable when we don't get it.

Stoicism teaches us to live in accordance with nature and to accept that suffering will manifest in different ways in our lives.

Be careful with eye contact

When you are doing the speaking, you should look the person you're talking to directly in the eyes, but not so much when you're the person listening.

Making eye contact while your interlocutor is speaking actually harms your perceived competence.

Resist the urge to look at your phone

You cannot be present and involved in a conversation if you occasionally look at your phone. 

Whether you intend to or not, you're sending the message that the people you're talking with aren't as important as whatever text, snap or post is on your device. 

Put your phone out of your reach

Phones are altering the fabric of social life.

It's because researchers have found that people with access to their smartphone smile less at strangers, compared with those without devices.