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4 Essential Ingredients of a Great Conversation

Great conversations

Great conversations

They are not just the process of exchanging of words. They represent the base for very meaningful friendship or partnership.
And especially in this era of screens and limited attention spans great conversations should be nurtured.

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IDEA EXTRACTED FROM:

4 Essential Ingredients of a Great Conversation

4 Essential Ingredients of a Great Conversation

https://medium.com/@fuelaffection/4-fundamental-pieces-of-a-great-conversation-e874960abbc

medium.com

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Key Ideas

Great conversations

They are not just the process of exchanging of words. They represent the base for very meaningful friendship or partnership.
And especially in this era of screens and limited attention spans great conversations should be nurtured.

Ingredients of a great conversation

  • A great conversation is a two-way street, not a competition.
  • A great conversation is a safe space. Fear of judgment will stop you from opening up in front of someone.
  • A great conversation fosters relatability. Relating to something that another person has expressed indicates active listening.
  • A great conversation is an opportunity to learn. It should feel enriching and enlightening.

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You can’t move forward when you’re trying to keep a foot in every door.

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Give equal measures of positive and negative feedback. We usually gloss over the strengths, but focus in great detail on the critical feedback. Add examples and details to your positive feedback.

Emphasize Collaboration

Be objective when you speak about a negative event. Rather than placing blame or evaluating the problematic situation, describe it and its consequences, and suggest acceptable alternatives.

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Raise Your Self-Esteem

Create a life you love and learn to appreciate your uniqueness.

Many social issues come from a low sense of self-worth. This causes your conversations to suffer before they begin....

A Confident Body Language
  • Stand straight.
  • Hold your head up.
  • Unfold your arms and relax your hands.
  • Establish eye contact.
  • Smile.
Connecting

Connecting with friends means letting them to know you and vice versa.

Talk about yourself, disclose your life facts, opinions and feelings. This way, you have have subjects to talk about and you form lasting bonds.

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Develop a taste for small talk

Whenever faced with uncertainty when trying to make conversation, you might want to consider making small talk. 

It can work wonders and it helps with getting to know the other.

Learn to ask the right questions

Making good conversation implies mastering the technique of asking the right questions, in the correct order, in a proper tone.

 The purpose is to get to know the other, without making it feel like an interrogation.

Asking deep questions

Once you have got the chance to get to know a bit more about the other, you can initiate the use of deeper questions. 

These allow you to create a bond and to show to the other person how interested you are in his or her life.

Origins of the non-violent communication method

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Observe and recap

The Non-violent communication (NVC) process begins with neutral observation.

In conversations, this is most easily done by recapping what someone has said, without emotional input.

That means not attaching any judgment or “story” to your response.

Describe emotions, not positions

For NVC, talk feelings, not issues. 

The hard part in nailing this step is expressing only your own emotional turmoil, rather than translating your emotions into blame. 

Describing feelings of concern, fear, heartbreak, rage, dismay, or confusion are useful.

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Scott H Young

"People don’t judge you so much for who you are as they judge you for how you communicate yourself.&quo..."

Scott H Young
Be Funny and Interesting

  • Humor: It takes a lot of practice until you can figure out the natural timing and flow of a joke. Practice makes perfect.
  • Interest comes from having an interesting life. You can be interesting by telling stories  or by simply being quick to bring up an interesting fact.

Interest is similar to humor whenever people discover something they didn’t expect.

Tell Great Stories
  • You need to have an interesting point to make it worthwhile.
  • Your most interesting point should be the last thing you say in your story.
  • Keep it short.
  • Keep it personal. People prefer stories about people they know.
  • The more you tell a story the better you get the natural timing and emphasis. 

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Joy
Joy

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Happiness

It's a personal, external and fleeting feeling. It depends upon external things, situations, and experiences and can be achieved through possessions and experiences.

Happiness includes feelings of gratification, excitement, merriment, playfulness, amusement, and enjoyment.

Peace

It's freedom from disturbance. A state of tranquillity and harmony that can be felt collectively or individually.

Peace and happiness can be entwined, but the circumstances from which they arise are different.

Step #5: Exits
Step #5: Exits

Use bookmarks to end well. Examples:

  • Future Mentions: “Well, I can’t wait to see you at that ___ coming up—I’ll email you!
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Step #4: Evaluate Your Conversational Performance

After an event ask yourself what went well, what did you learn and who should you follow-up with so you can keep learning and honing your ability. 

This can help you identify patterns and remember to follow up on bookmarks, LinkedIn connections and promises.

Step #3: Bookmarking

Use the ‘Bookmarking’ technique to create a deeper connection by adding verbal markers or emphasis to parts of the conversation:

  • Future Mentions: saying something that will require follow up on later.
  • Inside Jokes: making jokes that refer to something interesting or funny you and the listener was involved in.
  • Same Same: exclaiming how crazy it is you have something in common and talking about it.
  • You Have to See: saying that you will share something they are interested in with them later.

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