Slow Down the Conversation
Focus on clearly conveying your whole emotional message and try to hear the whole of the other person's without thinking it is an attack.
Saying "I feel like you..." instead of "You never/You always..." can lead to a more productive discussion.
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"Having someone wonder where you are when you don't come home at night is a very old human need." — Margart Mead
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Similar ideas to Slow Down the Conversation
Address the root cause of your emotions
- Try to have difficult discussions when you are not very emotional. Sometimes you need to walk away to regain control (tell the other person you need a moment), then return to the discussion.
- Write down your agenda for the discussion.
Give Feedback
- Maintain comfortable eye contact.
- Remain open-minded.
- Pay attention to non-verbal signals as a way of reading the person's feeling state.
- Use an "I" statement of feeling. Ex: "I feel like this decision violates our trust."
Insert questions into a conversation at the right time
As you listen, questions will come up in your head. But asking questions can interrupt the other person's thinking and derail a conversation.
- Always attend and reflect before you ask a question.
- When you do ask a question to encourage dialogue, ...
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