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Your Performance Review Went Really Wrong

hbr.org

Taking Work Feedback Personally

Many of us allow our identity to be tied to our work. We let our jobs define our self-worth. If we receive critical feedback for our work, we feel like our life is failing too.

When performance reviews are around the corner, it is worth knowing how to take critical...

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While you can't control what you're boss will say to you, you can control how you respond.

A strategy for dealing with criticism is the Stop-Acknowledge-Feel-Engage (SAFE) technique. It can remind you of your worth and help you manage your mental and emoti...

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When our work performance is criticised, it can make us question our sense of self and make us perceive it as a threat. We are likely to have an emotional reaction that can lead to irrational outbursts.

How to manage your response: Stop. Don't defend yourself or a...

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As your boss talks, actually listen and don't just think of a rebuttal. Ask open-ended questions to show you are engaged in the conversation.

  • Your questions are a paraphrase of what your boss says. "I hear you say X, which to me sounds like Y. Is that correct?"
  • ...

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When you come away from the conversation, you might need some place to vent. Find a safe space outside of the office, if possible.

  • To remind yourself that you are more than your job, ask trusted friends to hear you out. They may remind you of your accomplishments. Du...

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Once you don't feel so down, ask people you trust to help identify your blind spots and talk about improving these areas. Then look at the feedback you've received and compare it to what your boss said.

  • Are there overlaps between the feedback of your...

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