𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐬 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐲 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮.

𝐀𝐦𝐚𝐳𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐅𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰...

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

mentalhealth

Mental Health

communication

Communication

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

leadershipandmanagement

Leadership & Management

Your Biggest Lesson Learned

"I realize now that what I said/did was insensitive. I wish I could take it back".

Recognition

"I understand how my actions may have hurt you, and I feel terrible about it".

Perceive

"Looking back, I see how my behavior might have been upsetting. I didn't intend for things to turn out this way".

Sensation

"An apology is the superglue of life. It can repair just about anything."

Some individuals may find it challenging to utter the words 'I'm sorry,' yet they still desire to convey regret for their actions. In such instances, one can express remorse through heartfelt sentiments and impactful phrases that resonate directly with the heart.

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

philosophy

Philosophy

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Motivation & Inspiration

habits

Habits

How to express apology without saying "I am sorry"

🚻 Women have a contra sexuality which is masculine in nature and this is called the Animus.🚻 Men have a contra sexuality which is feminine in nature and this is called the Anima.

The Contra Sexuality

The Animus is the woman’s rational function and the Anima is the man’s irrational function.

In a woman her contra sexuality is masculine and governs her rational thinking function and we call this the Animus.In a man his contra sexuality is feminine and governs his irrational feeling function and we call this the Anima.The archetype of the Anima/Animus forms a bridge between our personal unconscious and what Jung refers to as the Collective Unconscious.

How It Works

Under normal circumstances the masculine and feminine will be modelled on the first imprint in the child’s life of the masculine and feminine – the father and mother.

Archetypes: Father and Mother, King and Queen

One of the differentiating qualities which Jung identified between the animus and anima is that the animus has a multiplicity to it whereas the anima appears more in the singular.A good example of this is the fairytale of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs– who are all animus manifestations, psychologically speaking.

The Animus

>Tarzan , the unconscious primitive but physically vital masculine.>James Bond , suave man of the world.>Steve Jobs or Richard Branson , integrated masculine, strong, creative, attractive but more androgynous.>Barak Obama ,integrated evolved masculine epitomising secular values in their most evolved form.>Mahatma Ghandi or Nelson Mandela , the masculine which now brings the spiritual component into the world, transcending the mundane and secular but without denying it.>Christ , Mohammed , Buddha, the conscious spiritual incarnation of the masculine, the unconscious masculine.

Archetypal examples of Animus

The animus when it is integrated in a healthy female psyche would typically imbue the following qualities:🪄Good rational and logical ability.🪄Ability for clear non attached thought.🪄Ability to construct by sustained effort and application.🪄A strong centre.🪄Good external strength in the persona.🪄Bridge to knowledge and creative thought.🪄Problem solving.

The Integrated Animus

When the animus is displaced or overwhelms the female psyche it may exhibit some of the following symptoms:❌Know it all behaviour.❌Bullying.❌Sadism.❌Controlling.❌Loud.❌Inability to effectively and meaningfully relate.

The Displaced Animus

The Anima, naturally, is originally based on the boy’s image of his mother and this later evolves with his relatedness to more mature romantic relationships.

The Anima

A man will generally project his anima onto only a single woman at any one time, whereas a woman would frequently have more than one animus projection in her life.

>Brooke Shields in her original virginal role as a teenage star, pre sexual feminine>Marilyn Monroe, the fully developed sexual diva>Jackie Kennedy or Eleanor Roosevelt , the mature feminine supportive wife, mother, nurturer>Margret Thatcher , strong, intuitive leadership with some sacrifice of the feminine>Evita Pero, the feminine in a strong leadership role but still feminine on bearing and orientation>The Virgin Mary , the true transcendent iconic female, no longer of this world

Archetypal examples of the Anima

🪄Self soothing, self nurturing and self loving.🪄Access to creative inspiration.🪄Strong centre and contained inner life.🪄Capable of empathy.🪄Able to make value judgements beyond the realm of pure rationality.🪄Access to feeling life.🪄Good relatedness.🪄Happy.

The Integrated Anima

❌Uncontained, constantly seeking external affirmation.❌Lack of creativity.❌Moody.❌Bitchy.❌Poor relatedness, behaviour in relationships designed to isolate the person from others.❌Masochistic.❌Greedy, grasping.❌Self centred.

The Displaced Anima

The Archetypes of the Anima and Animus in Jungian Psychology.

religionandspirituality

Religion & Spirituality

artsandculture

Society, Arts & Culture

The Archetypes of the Anima and Animus

We are human beings – we crave attention. And we crave attention because we are human beings.Our mind never stops being aware of our surroundings. Who’s talking? What are they saying?Do they speak about me? Do they like me? I’ve been invisible to people for most of my life. I craved attention, but nobody wanted to give it to me. So, I did dumb things to have all eyes on me.

The Attention Craving

I hated it when nobody asked about my life. I thought I had a lot to share and deserved good friends. But, it turns out, both things were false.<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">I didn’t have anything interesting to share.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">And nobody deserves anything – you have to work for it.</li></ul>I tried to decode attention and <a href="https://cosmopolitanmindset.substack.com/p/the-future-of-leadership">leadership traits </a>for years. And I tried many things to achieve my ultimate goal – being at the center of attention.I didn’t even know if everything was necessary. I like to think it was. But there was one thing that changed things forever . I’m sure of it. And that is confidence – a trait I never thought I could achieve.

How to Become the Center of Attention

You are reading an excerpt from <a href="https://cosmopolitanmindset.substack.com/">The Challenge</a>, a newsletter where I discuss self-improvement, goal-setting, habits, time management, and health tips and tricks.Every week, you will get the following:<ul><li>a challenge to pursue to improve your life</li><li>an infographic to track it.</li></ul><a href="https://cosmopolitanmindset.substack.com/subscribe">Subscribe now</a> to help me continue publishing this type of content.

The Challenge

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">The first thing I learned about confidence is that people feel your fear and insecurities. And most of them will repel you for that.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">The second thing I learned about confidence is that you must do interesting things to become fascinating to others.</li></ul>Nobody cares about what you did last night if it’s something trivial or you make it so. And speak openly about your passions and hobbies to make things look interesting. Speak without fear, without caring about what people might think of you.Some will find it helpful. Others will find it useless. But who cares?

The Two Truths About Confidence

Thinking about all those variables will keep your mouth shut. And somebody else will steal the scene. So speak now! Before it’s too late.Say something, even stupid, but at least it’s something.Polarize people and attract or reject them. You don’t have time for those who leave. Focus on who stays.Eventually, you will become so good everyone will come back to hear. You will know you have won when the laughter fills that emptiness around you.

How to Speak with Confidence

You can’t be friends with anyone – it doesn’t matter how hard you try. And the sooner you realize it, the faster you can channel your energies in the right direction.I learned about compatibility by being friends with anyone.<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">I could talk for hours with some people and forget about our time together. It was effortless, and I could keep going for days.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">But with other people, it was frustrating. I had to say something to fill the gap between us. And I couldn’t enjoy it.</li></ul>

1 – Polarize the crowd. (1)

So, what’s the solution?Simple! Polarize people and only engage with those who stay. Don’t waste your time trying to convince them you are worth it. If they know, they know. Otherwise, they’ll come back later.When you polarize people, three things might happen:<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">They agree with you and love your confidence.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">They disagree with you but respect your confidence.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Or they ignore you.</li></ul>Focus on the first two categories.

1 – Polarize the crowd. (2)

Storytelling is the winning card of the most confident people. It is a way to connect with others that confidence alone cannot provide. But most people don’t learn it because it takes time and effort.You can <a href="https://cosmopolitanmindset.substack.com/p/3-simple-rules-to-boost-your-storytelling">learn storytelling </a>by building your catalog of stories.<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">First, collect everything in your life that might become a good story.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Then, f ind the grip for each story. Why would people listen to it? What’s funny about it? Or what did you learn from that experience? </li><li class="ql-align-justify">Now, it’s time to practice. You can start in front of the mirror. Or you can test it with your closest friends. </li></ul>

2 – Narrate your dressing routine. (1)

However, no matter the story you are telling, don’t lie. You can insist on a few things to prove your point. But don’t lie because someone might discover your bluff, and it’s hard to recover.Your goal is to become so good at it that you can storytelling even your dressing routine, and people might find it interesting.

2 – Narrate your dressing routine. (2)

Have you ever tried to convince someone to buy anything?Usually, there are two steps you use unconsciously:<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">First, you create an emotional link with the potential buyers. You talk about their frustration or likes. And you listen to them.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Then, you showcase the features of the product you are trying to sell.</li></ul>In this case, you are the product. And you already build a connection with storytelling. So, the only thing that’s missing is showcasing your qualities.

3 – Showcase your qualities. (1)

For most of my life, I showcased my qualities by boasting. But people hate it when you do it.But do you know what they love?They love it when you showcase your qualities by helping them. Focus on what they’re saying and find a way to help people. Let them know you are a good listener and care about them. And they will naturally gravitate towards you.

3 – Showcase your qualities. (2)

I always banter and smile when I talk to people.Bantering and irony are two of the greatest skills you can learn to show confidence and build strong connections. When you use irony and dive into the game of bantering, you expose your vulnerabilities willingly.If you drown in your insecurities, it will be awful the first few times. But as you become more confident, you will notice how people perceive it as attractive.

4 – Use irony and (always) smile. (1)

You show no fear when you expose yourself. You show truthfulness and genuine interest. And you will attract people because of that.Anybody will want a positive buddy by their side. So, why don’t you become one of them?The world is pessimistic. Everyone complains about everything. But with positivity, you can be different. You can change lives and lighten up somebody else’s day.

4 – Use irony and (always) smile. (2)

Storytelling is great for creating connections and showing confidence. But deep relationships require much more.I learned it when I built so many relationships I stopped counting them. But I realized I didn’t know much about those people. And if confidence is about speaking, connecting the souls is all about doing. When you want to become good friends (or more) with someone, you have to be propositive.Focus on doing things together – that’s when the deepest connections grow.

5 – Focus on doing, not saying.

Confidence attracts people and allows you to find your tribe. But to do that, you must become confident first.1 – Polarize the crowd.2 – Storytell your dressing routine.3 – Showcase your qualities.4 – Use irony and smile.5 – Focus on doing, not saying.This week, you can start with these five steps. And I can guarantee you will notice the difference in a month.[DOWNLOAD THE FREE INFOGRAPHIC <a href="https://cosmopolitanmindset.substack.com/p/unleash-your-inner-magnet">HERE</a>]

If you loved the newsletter and want to support my work, subscribe and share <a href="https://cosmopolitanmindset.substack.com/">The Challenge</a> with your friends and families!Or, if you want to read more of my content, visit the <a href="https://www.cosmopolitanmindset.com/">Cosmopolitan Mindset</a>.<a href="https://cosmopolitanmindset.substack.com/subscribe">Subscribe now</a> to help me continue publishing this type of content.

Before you Go

Want to draw in positive connections? Discover how to speak with confidence & attract the people who matter most!

career

Career

Unleash Your Inner Magnet! How to Speak with Confidence and Attract the Right People

𝐀𝐜𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐧 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐭.

Maintaining Work-Life Balance While Excelling as an Expert

Perel questions traditional narratives about cheating, suggesting that even happy individuals can find themselves straying. Her exploration challenges us to reconsider our definitions of infidelity and its motivations.

Understanding Infidelity

Infidelity is not new, but its impact on relationships has evolved. Once a threat to economic security, it now jeopardizes our emotional well-being, reflecting the shift from marriage as an economic institution to one of romantic love.

Historical Context

While Perel's talk doesn't specifically mention them, integrating practices like the<a href="https://d009cbdeoz0hwoa63kwk45y2wq.hop.clickbank.net/?tid=livk"> Hyperbolic Stretching Program</a> for physical well-being, "<a href="https://28e11jngq10f5s3clfrl64zr11.hop.clickbank.net/?tid=deepk">The Genius Wave</a>" for mental stimulation, and accessing resources like <a href="https://freemeditationscripts.com/meditation-script/anxiety/calming-the-storm-a-free-guided-meditation-script-for-anxiety/">free meditation scripts</a> can complement the journey of relationship healing and personal development.

Bonus Insights for Personal Growth

The concept of monogamy has transformed from "one person for life" to "one person at a time," illustrating changes in societal norms and expectations about love and fidelity.

Monogamy Redefined

Even in an era that values happiness and personal fulfillment, the allure of the forbidden remains potent, highlighting the complex interplay between human desires and societal constraints.

The Paradox of Infidelity

Perel suggests that some affairs are less about turning away from one's partner and more about rediscovering lost or unexplored parts of oneself, offering a powerful perspective on the search for identity and autonomy.

A Door to Self-Discovery

Post-affair, some couples find opportunities for new honesty, intimacy, and understanding, suggesting that navigating the aftermath of infidelity can lead to profound relationship transformations.

Revitalizing Relationships

The journey towards healing from an affair involves honest acknowledgment, rebuilding trust, and embracing the possibility of reinventing the relationship with a deeper understanding of each other's needs and desires.

Healing and Growth

Perel's discourse invites couples to confront the pain of infidelity not as an endpoint but as a catalyst for reevaluating and deepening their connection, potentially paving the way for a "second marriage" with the same partner.

Charting a New Course Together

Dive into Esther Perel's captivating TED talk where she explores the complex landscape of infidelity. Offering a nuanced take on why people cheat and how relationships can navigate the aftermath of betrayal, Perel provides a thought-provoking analysis for anyone who has ever loved.

Visit http://TED.com to get our entire library of TED Talks, transcripts, translations, personalized Talk recommendations and more.

Infidelity is the ultimate betrayal. But does it have to be? Relationship therapist Esther Perel examines why people cheat, and unpacks why affairs are so traumatic: because they threaten our emotional security. In infidelity, she sees something unexpected — an expression of longing and loss. A must-watch for anyone who has ever cheated or been cheated on, or who simply wants a new framework for understanding relationships.

The TED Talks channel features the best talks and performances from the TED Conference, where the world's leading thinkers and doers give the talk of their lives in 18 minutes (or less). Look for talks on Technology, Entertainment and Design -- plus science, business, global issues, the arts and more. You're welcome to link to or embed these videos, forward them to others and share these ideas with people you know. 

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Subscribe to our channel: http://youtube.com/TED

TED's videos may be used for non-commercial purposes under a Creative Commons License, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives (or the CC BY – NC – ND 4.0 International) and in accordance with our TED Talks Usage Policy (https://www.ted.com/about/our-organization/our-policies-terms/ted-talks-usage-policy). For more information on using TED for commercial purposes (e.g. employee learning, in a film or online course), please submit a Media Request at https://media-requests.ted.com

travel

Travel

videos

Videos

The TED Talks channel features the best talks and performances from the TED Conference, where the world's leading thinkers and doers give the talk of their lives in 18 minutes (or less). Look for talks on Technology, Entertainment and Design -- plus science, business, global issues, the arts and more. You're welcome to link to or embed these videos, forward them to others and share these ideas with people you know.

TED's videos may be used for non-commercial purposes under a Creative Commons License, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives (or the CC BY – NC – ND 4.0 International) and in accordance with our TED Talks Usage Policy: https://www.ted.com/about/our-organization/our-policies-terms/ted-talks-usage-policy. For more information on using TED for commercial purposes (e.g. employee learning, in a film or online course), please submit a Media Request at https://media-requests.ted.com

Rethinking infidelity ... a talk for anyone who has ever loved | Esther Perel

Rethinking infidelity ... a talk for anyone who has ever loved

I often sit in the dining hall and wonder who I am truly close to. With so many people around, it's easy to feel like nobody really knows you. There's always that sense of loneliness. That desire for someone to understand us, the hunger for love, and the constant fight for happiness.It's a feeling we all share, no matter how many friends we have. We all long for a true connection with someone. Don't forget, you're not alone in feeling alone. Keep searching for those who truly understand you, and don't be afraid to open up and let them in

The Loneliness of Being Surrounded

The irony of seeking peace but arguing over loneliness...

In today's world, people are willing to spend large sums of money to find peace, but they easily get irritated and often lash out at anyone who annoys them or doesn't conform to their way of living.

Desperately Seeking Peace

It's necessary to understand that people have different tastes and opinions.
Each person is one-of-a-kind, and their views should not be dismissed.
Our distinctiveness adds variety and fosters fresh thinking. 💡

The Importance of Embracing Differences in People

Have you ever wondered why we sometimes choose the opposite of what we should?
Here's something to keep in mind:
<li>Our fear of change often clouds our judgement, making us choose the familiar over the unknown 🤔</li>
<li>Remember to pause and reflect before making a decision ❗</li>
Also, let's be mindful of our words, as they hold power and can bring immense harm or joy 💬

"Choosing the Right Path"

In the world of technology, People today stand so close yet too far ...

mindfulness

Mindfulness

Too close yet too far 

How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you.

Darkness cannot drive out darkness:only light can do that. Hate cannotdrive out hate: only love can do that.

To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides.

The love we give away is the love we keep.

'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

Love isn't something you find. Love is something that finds you.

The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt within the heart.

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell.

Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.

Love is when the other person's happiness is more important than your own.

Quotes about love ❤️

Using too much logic can often create more conflicts instead of solving problems. It is important to approach issues with a clear and open mind, rather than relying solely on logic

Minimizing Conflicts

<ul><li>Logic is the rational reasoning behind decisions and actions. It helps us make sense of the world and make informed choices.</li><li>Conflict is the disagreement or opposition between individuals or groups. It can arise from differences in beliefs, values, or goals.</li></ul>

Understanding Logic and Conflict

By understanding the logic behind someone's actions, we can better comprehend their intentions and motivations. Conversely, understanding the root of conflict can help us navigate and resolve disputes in an effective manner.

How often do we rely on logic to guide our actions and decisions? While it is useful, it can also lead to conflict.<ul><li>Ignoring emotions and feelings of others</li><li>Underestimating the importance of relationships</li><li>Creating a divide between differing opinions</li><li>Not considering unforeseen events and variables</li></ul>

The Consequence of Logic: Conflict

People who are logical are trying to solve problems, not create more conflict. Remember to solve problems, not create them.

SOLVE IT, NOT CREATE IT

<ul><li>Practice active listening and empathy</li><li>Collaborate with others and gather different perspectives</li><li>Think outside the box and be open to new ideas</li></ul>

When faced with complex situations

Sometimes the best solutions come from thinking creatively rather than strictly using logical reasoning.

🧠❤️🎨💡

Logic and conflict are two fundamental concepts in understanding human behavior.

problemsolving

Problem Solving

politics

Politics

Logic and conflict 

You’re gonna have pain one way or the other. Which pain would you like?You can have the pain of suppressing yourself, for the sake of being accepted, or you can have the pain, sometimes, of being yourself and not being accepted.

You’re gonna have pain one way or the other.

Which would you choose? #drgabormate #podcast #growth

podcasts

Podcasts

Gabor Maté: Which  Pain Would You Like?

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