“Men are motivated when they feel needed, while women are motivated when they feel cherished.”

<ul><li>Men and women think, feel, and communicate in different ways.</li><li>Men focus on solving problems.</li><li>Women look for understanding and support.</li><li>Understanding these differences can help avoid arguments and build better relationships.</li></ul>

1. Men and Women Are Different

<ul><li>Men like to take a break when they’re stressed. This is called going into their "cave."</li><li>They do this to recharge and think.</li><li>Women might feel hurt when men pull away, but it’s not because they don’t care.</li></ul>

2. Men Need Space

<ul><li>Women feel better when they talk about their feelings.</li><li>They don’t always want solutions—just someone to listen.</li><li>Men can help by being patient and showing empathy.</li></ul>

3. Women’s Need for Connection

<ul><li>Men prefer short, clear conversations.</li><li>Women use more details and express emotions.</li><li>Learning to adapt to each other’s style makes communication smoother.</li></ul>

4. Different Ways of Communicating

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“To offer a man unsolicited advice is to presume that he doesn't know what to do or that he can't do it on his own.”

<ul><li>Men want to feel useful and appreciated.</li><li>Women want to feel loved and understood.</li><li>Simple gestures like saying “thank you” or offering a hug can make a big difference.</li></ul>

5. Showing Support

<ul><li>Men like to solve their problems quietly.</li><li>Women want to talk about their problems to feel supported.</li><li>Respecting each other’s way of dealing with stress helps avoid fights.</li></ul>

6. How They Handle Stress

<ul><li>Men often try to fix things when women just want to be heard.</li><li>Women can help by saying, “I just need you to listen.”</li><li>Listening without interrupting shows care and builds trust.</li></ul>

7. The Importance of Listening

<ul><li>Misunderstandings happen when men and women don’t realize they have different needs.</li><li>Men might think women complain too much, while women might think men don’t care enough.</li><li>Being patient and open can prevent conflicts.</li></ul>

8. Avoiding Arguments

<ul><li>Little things like saying kind words or spending time together strengthen relationships.</li><li>Men value respect and trust.</li><li>Women appreciate affection and attention.</li></ul>

9. Small Actions Matter

“When a man can listen to a woman's feelings without getting angry and frustrated, he gives her a wonderful gift. He makes it safe for her to express herself. The more she is able to express herself, the more she feels heard and understood, and the more she can give a man the loving trust, acceptance, appreciation, admiration, approval, and encouragement that he needs.”

<ul><li>Accepting and respecting each other’s differences is key to lasting love.</li><li>Show empathy, communicate well, and be willing to compromise.</li><li>When both partners meet each other’s emotional needs, love grows stronger.</li></ul>

10. Building a Happy Relationship

For Men: Listen without trying to fix everything. Show affection regularly.For Women: Give him space when he needs it. Appreciate his efforts."When we understand each other’s needs, love becomes easier and more fulfilling."

Simple Tips for Better Relationships

<ul><li>Your support means the world to me! When you like and comment, it not only motivates me but also tells me that you’re enjoying the content.</li><li>Every like and comment encourages me to create even better posts just for you.</li><li>Plus, when you engage you’re helping others discover content they’ll love, too! So, if you find value here, hit that like button and drop a comment. Let’s grow and learn together.</li></ul>

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The Shocking Truth About Men and Women’s Minds!

Popular marriage counselor and seminar leader John Gray provides a unique, practical and proven way for men and women to communicate and relate better by acknowledging the differences between them. Once upon a time Martians and Venusians met, fell in love, and had happy relationships together because they respected and accepted their differences. Then they came to earth and amnesia set in: they forgot they were from different planets. Using this metaphor to illustrate the commonly occurring conflicts between men and women, Gray explains how these differences can come between the sexes and prohibit mutually fulfilling loving relationships. Based on years of successful counseling of couples, he gives advice on how to counteract these differences in communication styles, emotional needs and modes of behavior to promote a greater understanding between individual partners. Gray shows how men and women react differently in conversation and how their relationships are affected by male intimacy cycles ("get close", "back off"), and female self-esteem fluctuations ("I'm okay", "I'm not okay"). He encourages readers to accept the other gender's particular way of expressing love, and helps men and women learn how to fulfill each other's emotional needs. With practical suggestions on how to reduce conflict, crucial information on how to interpret a partner's behavior and methods for preventing emotional "trash from the past" from invading new relationships, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus is a valuable tool for couples who want to develop deeper and more satisfying relationships with their partners.

Understand yourself and those around you.

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Psychology

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Philosophy

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Personal Development

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Love & Relationships

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Books

John Gray is an accomplished writer whose work has resonated with readers around the world. John Gray has published several books that explore a range of topics, from fiction to nonfiction, and has received critical acclaim for the ability to weave compelling narratives. John Gray's writing style is known for its depth and authenticity, and has earned quite a loyal following of readers.

John Gray

Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

True freedom is being without anxiety about imperfection.

Why should your life be destroyed by the easy criticism of those 
who do not know you or care about you?”

Your true nature is not something 
you can obtain by searching for it.
 It will reveal itself to you when the mind grows quiet.

Clinging to a particular negative thought
 can even lead to depression. Be careful not to get caught up in your thoughts.

Your life is difficult not because the past is holding you back, but because you keep thinking about the past and lingering there. Rather than haggling with your past, let it be, so that it can flow like a river. Your true self is not the river of memory but the one who stands beside the river, quietly observing its flow.

If you’re sad, it’s okay to acknowledge your sadness. If you have pain that leaves you at a loss, it’s okay to talk about your pain. The reason we have difficulties is that we are unable to accept the things that cannot be changed. Let them be and see what happens.

Acceptance

“Things are so hard for you right now, but you will be okay no
 matter what.”

Emotions are like uninvited guests. They come whenever they want to, and leave once you acknowledge their presence. Although emotions are born inside of you, don’t assume that they belong to you. That is why they rarely listen to you.

Do you often say to your loved one, “If you love me, can’t you change for me?”That is not love. Love’s true face is acceptance and freedom, not restriction and control.

In many things in life, the good is mixed with the bad. If you throw away the whole thing because you dislike the bad part, you’ll also throw away much that is good.

Even though it seems like the night will go on forever, at a certain point the days start getting longer. Even though it seems suffering will continue without end, at a certain point it will ease up, or we will learn to accept it. Meanwhile, we will learn a valuable lesson from that suffering.Nothing in this world lasts forever, not even our suffering.

“Even if someone I helped in the past, or I expected greatness from, causes me grave harm, may I consider him my greatest teacher.”

The voice that criticizes and berates me is much louder than the one that cheers me on. When times are tough, that cheering voice can get drowned out. But keep listening. After your critics have moved on to criticize someone else, you will start to hear those who have stayed behind, steadily cheering you on.

Cheers Will Win Critics, A Day

People often think that their way of doing things is the right way. If they see something being done in a way that is not their own, they jump in to tell others they’re doing it wrong.But other people’s ways are not wrong, only unfamiliar to you.Try doing something in a way that is different from your way. A new world will open up to you

It's Not Wrong, Just Different

When you care for yourself first, the world will also find you worthy of care.

It’s okay that you have flaws. How could our lives be as clean and white as a blank sheet of paper? Life naturally takes a toll on our bodies, our minds, and our relationships. Rather than choosing a life in which you do nothing for fear of making a mistake, choose a life that improves through failure and pain. And shout out loud to your struggling self, “I love you so much.”

Don’t judge people based on how they appear, as they may have difficulties that nobody can see.

“If you hear a voice within you say, ‘You cannot paint,’ then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.”

Don’t think you are lovable only when you succeed at what the world demands. You are already worthy of love.

Even products labeled “limited edition” are made on a production line with hundreds that are exactly the same. But there is only one you in the world. Please cherish the unique individual that is you.

Susan Cain, New York Times bestselling author of Quiet: "The world could surely use a little more love, a little more compassion, and a little more wisdom. In Love for Imperfect Things, Haemin Sunim shows us how to cultivate all three, and to find beauty in the most imperfect of things--including your very own self." A #1 internationally bestselling book of spiritual wisdom about learning to love ourselves, with all our imperfections, by the Buddhist author of The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down Hearing the words "be good to yourself first, then to others" was like being struck by lightning. Many of us respond to the pressures of life by turning inward and ignoring problems, sometimes resulting in anxiety or depression. Others react by working harder at the office, at school, or at home, hoping that this will make ourselves and the people we love happier. But what if being yourself is enough? Just as we are advised on airplanes to take our own oxygen first before helping others, we must first be at peace with ourselves before we can be at peace with the world around us. In this beautiful follow-up to his international bestseller The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down, Zen Buddhist monk Haemin Sunim turns his trademark wisdom to the art of self-care, arguing that only by accepting yourself--and the flaws that make you who you are--can you have compassionate and fulfilling relationships with your partner, your family, and your friends. With more than thirty-five full-color illustrations, Love for Imperfect Things will appeal to both your eyes and your heart, and help you learn to love yourself, your life, and everyone in it. When you care for yourself first, the world begins to find you worthy of care.

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Motivation & Inspiration

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Mental Health

Zen Buddhist teacher, bestselling author & founder of the School for Broken Hearts in Seoul.Born in South Korea and educated at Berkeley, Harvard, and Princeton, he received formal monastic training from Haein monastery, South Korea and taught Asian religions at Hampshire College in Massachusetts for seven years.He is one of the most influential Zen monks in the world, with over 1.5 million followers on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. His first book, The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down has been translated into more than 35 different languages and sold over four million copies.His second book, Love for Imperfect Things was the number one bestseller of the year 2016 in South Korea and became available in multiple languages in 2019.

Haemin Sunim

Love for Imperfect Things

Explorers are curious. They have many interests: they love to learn, and they regularly seek novelty and adventure. Moreover, Explorers are likely to be impulsive, high energy, flexible, irreverent and very interested in sex. So two Explorers can have great fun together. They won’t argue over life’s little chores: when to take out the garbage is likely to be immaterial to both. They aren’t likely to quarrel about money either, as most believe cash should be used to fulfil their dreams.

Explorer and Explorer Match

Explorers don’t follow schedules or prescribed ways of doing things, unless necessary, so neither will be fussy about rules either. Explorers are optimists. And their positivity, flexibility and mutual irreverence enable these couples to keep their spirits up when life is strained. But two Explorers can find themselves in disastrous situations – financial or physical – because both are daring and impulsive. And what they gain in intellectual and/ or physical adventure, they can lose in emotional intimacy because Explorers are wildly independent – even from a mate.

Explorer and Explorer Match (cont’d)

Explorers aren’t generally introspective either. So two Explorers can leave serious family issues unresolved. Explorers also tend to be charismatic and flirtatious, so they can stumble into extra-marital romantic situations. They are prone to addiction, too. And Explorers can become restless and hanker to move on as the novelty wears off. Yet this restlessness may be their biological strength. Helen Fisher suspected this type is more prone to making a series of partnerships, hence producing more varied young – another viable reproductive strategy.

But what happens when an Explorer falls in love with a Builder? One is reckless, the other cautious; one likes novelty, the other basks in the familiar. Or when two Directors tie the knot? Both are sceptical, competitive and have poorer people skills. Can two Negotiators ever make a decision? Both vacillate. And how will someone predominantly expressive of both Explorer and Builder traits cope with someone who is largely a Director and Negotiator?

Other Matches (And Are They Doomed?)

Every match will have different joys and sorrows. Moreover, each of us is a unique combination of these four broad biological styles of thinking and behaving. In fact, in one of Helen Fisher’s studies of 100,000 individuals, no two people answered the 56 questions of her questionnaire the same way.

No Two People Are The Same

Nevertheless, each of these 100,000 men and women expressed these four broad personality constellations in some way: biological patterns to human personality do exist.So when a couple walks into the therapist’s office, they come not only with luggage from their childhood but with biologically based variations in whom and how they love. These predispositions are worth knowing as the couple therapist embarks upon the journey into their clients’ hearts.

Biological Patterns Walk In Therapy Along With Us

The late Helen Fisher, renowned biological anthropologist, identified four primary personality types based on brain chemistry and hormonal influences: the Explorer, the Builder, the Director and the Negotiator.

In love? Take a quiz. Long-term relationship. Heartbreak. Science of love

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Communication

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Science & Nature

The 4 ‘Love Archetypes’ That Influence Partner Choice (part 2 of 2)

Many social, economic, psychological and biological forces contribute to mate preference. We tend to gravitate to someone with the same socio-economic and ethnic background, with a similar level of education, intelligence and physical attractiveness; a partner who shares our religious and social values; and someone who can provide the lifestyle we seek. Timing and proximity contribute.

“We Have So Much In Common”

Some psychologists believe we gravitate to someone similar to the parent with whom we have unresolved issues; who can provide the type of attachment we had with mother; or a mate who reflects the values and interests of our childhood friends. But academics don’t agree on the role of personality in mate choice. Some report we are attracted to those with similar personality traits; others conclude that opposites attract; still others maintain neither play a role. So Helen Fisher approached mate choice from a different perspective: biology.

“Ha! We Have Chemistry!”

Personality is composed of two basic types of traits: those an individual acquires through experience, traits of character; and those with biological underpinnings, traits of temperament. Traits of temperament are heritable, relatively stable across the life course and linked to specific genes, hormones and/or neurotransmitter systems. Indeed, some 50% of who we are stems from our biology. So Helen Fisher culled from the academic literature those personality traits currently linked with any physiological foundations.

The 4 Primary Temperament Dimensions

Only four neural systems are regularly associated with a constellation of personality traits. Variations in the dopamine system have been linked with novelty, experience and adventure seeking, susceptibility to boredom, impulsivity, energy and enthusiasm. People expressive of certain genes in the dopamine system tend to lack introspection; they look out, not in. These men and women are also often intellectually curious, mentally flexible and creative. So Helen Fisher called this style of thinking and behaving ‘curious/energetic’ and dubbed them “Explorers”.

The Dopamine-Driven “Explorers”

The suite of traits associated with specific activities and genes in the serotonin system include sociability, caution (harm avoidance), less anxiety and more close friends. Elevated activity in the serotonin systems is also linked with observing social norms, following the rules, respecting authority, orderliness, adherence to plans, methods and habits, self-control, precision, interest in details, conscientiousness, figural and numeric creativity, and religiosity. So Helen Fisher called this trait constellation the ‘cautious/social norm compliant’ and dubbed them “Builders”.

The Serotonin-Driven “Builders”

Prenatal endogenous testosterone priming is linked with enhanced visual-spatial perception and a keen understanding of ‘rule-based systems’, from mechanics to computers, maths, engineering or music. Those expressive of testosterone regularly exhibit acute attention to details and have deep but narrow interests. They also tend to be less socially aware, with poorer emotion recognition, less eye contact, less verbal fluency, reduced empathy and extreme sensitivity to rank.

The Testosterone-Driven “Directors”

Yet those expressive of testosterone are often self-confident, forthright, assertive and emotionally contained, although they also experience more emotional flooding, particularly rage. Helen Fisher designated this trait constellation the ‘analytical/tough-minded’ temperament dimension and dubbed those particularly expressive of this trait constellation “Directors”.

The Testosterone-Driven “Directors” (cont’d)

Prenatal endogenous estrogen priming is associated with contextual, holistic and long-term thinking, as well as linguistic skills, agreeableness, co-operation, theory of mind (intuition), empathy and nurturing. Traits associated with estrogen activities also include generosity and trust, the drive to make social attachments, heightened memory for emotional experiences, keen imagination and mental flexibility.

The Estrogen-Driven “Negotiators”

Oxytocin, closely related to estrogen, is also associated with several prosocial traits, including trust, reading emotions in others and theory of mind. So Helen Fisher designated this trait constellation the ‘prosocial/empathetic’ temperament dimension and dubbed those predominantly expressive of this suite of trait “Negotiators”.

The Estrogen-Driven “Negotiators” (cont’d)

Helen Fisher found that men and women who were primarily novelty-seeking, energetic, curious and creative were statistically significantly more drawn to those who shared these traits, while those who were primarily conventional, cautious and rule following were also drawn to individuals like themselves. But those who were more analytical, tough minded, direct and decisive were disproportionately attracted to their opposite, those who were imaginative, intuitive, compassionate and socially skilled; and vice versa.

Mate Choice

In short, Explorers preferentially sought Explorers, Builders sought other Builders, and Directors and Negotiators were drawn to one another. Why does similarity attract in some cases while opposites attract in others? Perhaps these human appetites are primordial reproductive mechanisms that evolved to insure the survival of the young. Take a partnership between a Director and a Negotiator

So Is It “Similars Attract” Or “Opposites Attract”?

These are very different styles of thinking and behaving, yet the Director and Negotiator have important things in common. Foremost, their thinking meshes. Both dislike wasting time on irrelevant or superficial conversations, and both like to discuss abstract concepts and generate theories. Yet the Negotiator sees the big picture, while the Director is likely to focus on smaller pieces of the puzzle; so both can impress.

Director and Negotiator Match

They are also likely to make decisions well together. The Negotiator will see all the angles, while the Director will be decisive. Moreover, the Director needs the Negotiator’s empathy, verbal acuity and people skills, while the Negotiator can marvel at the Director’s candor, their goal-oriented focus and their gift of knowing their own mind.

Director and Negotiator Match (cont’d)

Problems can emerge, however. Directors strive for efficiency and logic, a trait that can disappoint the expressive, tenderhearted Negotiator. Directors don’t like redundancy either; they are not likely to say ‘I love you’ regularly or respond to other loving rituals the Negotiator needs to feel connected. Moreover, Directors admire self-control, so if the Negotiator becomes a drama queen (or king), the Director may retreat into hostile silence.

The Director can also become impatient with the Negotiator’s intuitive side, regarding it as airy nonsense. Meanwhile, the Negotiator may find the Director’s insistence on tough-minded logic irritating, particularly if it tramples on someone’s feelings. But when the Director and Negotiator pool their complementary traits, they are likely to be an effective team for raising young.

If Directors and Negotiators are pooling different resources to rear their young, Builders appear to capitalize on many shared strengths. Builders tend to be calm, precise, managerial and social; both like building community ties. And because Builders are modest, civic-minded and often popular, two Builders can create a wide, stable, social network.

Builder and Builder Match

Nor are these men and women impulsive with their money, actions or feelings; security is important to both. Moreover, Builders are traditional. Duty, loyalty, patience, persistence and service are their strong suits, so both are likely to be devoted to domestic stability, overlooking their differences to make the marriage last. But Builders can be moralistic: both are likely to believe there is a ‘right’ thing to do and a ‘right’ way of doing it. And both can be critical. So Builders are likely to bicker over trivial matters, such as how to do the dishes.

Builder and Builder Match (cont’d)

And Builders refuse to compromise their standards: both can be stubborn. Moreover, Builders are the least sexual of the four broad styles of thinking and behaving. So sex – and the emotional closeness it often brings – can take a back seat to their individual schedules. Nevertheless, with two Builders, humanity has evolved another stable strategy for parenting.

The late Helen Fisher, renowned biological anthropologist, identified four primary personality types based on brain chemistry and hormonal influences: the Explorer, the Builder, the Director and  the Negotiator.

The 4 ‘Love Archetypes’ That Influence Partner Choice (part 1 of 2)

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

Your value isn't determined by others. Acknowledge your strengths and celebrate small wins daily.

1. Know Your Worth

Boundaries protect your well-being. Learn to say no when something doesn’t serve you.

2. Set Strong Boundaries

Spot unhealthy behaviors early:<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Control or jealousy</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Gaslighting or manipulation</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Disrespect for your time or feelings</li></ul>

3. Recognize Red Flags

Good mental health supports healthy relationships. Anne-Marie recommends journaling, meditation, or therapy to stay balanced.

4. Prioritize Your Mental Health

🚀 Join Inspire Hub on Discord—a space where ambitious minds like YOU connect, learn, and grow. 🌌 Imagine being part of a community that shares powerful ideas and strategies every day!🔥 Don’t miss out on exclusive content, live discussions, and a chance to network with people who are leveling up their lives.🚀 Take the first step today! Join Inspire Hub and surround yourself with a community of achievers.👉 <a href="https://discord.gg/Rhmbr3BT2j">CLICK HERE to join now!</a> and take your growth to the next level. You’ll thank yourself later!

"Communication is the key to personal and career success."

Healthy communication builds trust:<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Use assertive language</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Practice active listening</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Express needs openly and respectfully</li></ul>

5. Communicate Clearly

The people you spend time with impact your well-being. Choose friends who uplift and inspire you.

6. Surround Yourself with Positivity

Never stay in a relationship out of fear or convenience. You deserve a partner who respects and supports you.

7. Avoid Settling for Less

Every setback is an opportunity. Reflect on past relationships to understand patterns and grow.

8. Learn From Past Mistakes

Confidence is key to thriving. Practice affirmations and challenge self-doubt regularly.

9. Build Self-Confidence Daily

"The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved."

Your happiness is your responsibility. Pursue passions, set goals, and make choices aligned with your values.

10. Take Control of Your Happiness

Anne-Marie’s message is simple—don’t settle. You deserve better, and the journey starts with you.

Final Thoughts

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Your support means the world to me! When you like and comment, it not only motivates me but also tells me that you’re enjoying the content.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Every like and comment encourages me to create even better posts just for you.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Plus, when you engage you’re helping others discover content they’ll love, too! So, if you find value here, hit that like button and drop a comment. Let’s grow and learn together.</li></ul>

Don’t Let Toxic People Control Your Life

THE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER Sometimes it feels so hard to love yourself. We worry that we're not good enough or we're being selfish if we take time to prioritise what we need. But self-love is so important and even if we're our own biggest critic, it can be done! You deserve better xxx Hands up if you're fed up with being told you need to go on this diet, you need to behave this way, or you probably shouldn't wear this outfit...the list goes ooooon. Anne-Marie's been told these things her whole life too and they didn't make her feel any better. But now, she's discovered the simple tools that mean she treats herself with the love and respect she needs and this, in turn, means she's able to go out into the world and be as strong, confident and true to herself as she can be. And she wants YOU to be able to do the same. You Deserve Better is the must-read book from singer-songwriter Anne-Marie that doesn't give you fluffy promises about self-care but speaks honestly about body image, mental health, being successful at work and more. It's the real advice that every person needs to hear to be happier in themselves and in the world. Cause you know what? YOU DESERVE BETTER.

Anne-Marie

You Deserve Better

If you’ve been loyal to others, showing up for them time and again, only to realize they haven’t been honest, steadfast, or reciprocal, you’re not alone. If you’ve poured your heart out and been left empty, this is your reminder: You matter. God’s love and purpose for your life are bigger than anyone’s treatment of you. You were created with intention, and your energy—your love, your presence—is sacred. Choosing yourself is not only an act of self-respect; it is an act of honoring your Higher Power, whatever name you give it.

Choosing Yourself, Spiritually Speaking

First things first: the core of this post is “God,” yes—but it’s not about religion or beating the Bible. The opposite, in fact:One of the most profound shifts in my journey was realizing that the Bible isn’t about Christianity or religion—it’s a tool to birth Christ Consciousness. This understanding changed everything. It wasn’t about dogma, rules, or the rigid traditions I was raised with. Instead, I came to see that the spirituality of Christ Consciousness is about love, compassion, balance, and alignment with Source.

If You Struggle With “God” Because Of Religious Trauma…

I didn’t leave God; I left the earthly “church.” That was the rhetorical number one thing that changed me—and it was through this lens that I began to truly heal. For so long, I felt disconnected because the religion I grew up with was rooted in fear, shame, and punishment. But stepping away from the dogma allowed me to reconnect with the essence of God’s love and truth.﻿

I Left ReligionThe Church, Not God

The Bible, I realized, is not a rulebook to keep us in line—it’s a guide to understanding the divine energy within us and around us. Christ Consciousness isn’t confined to a denomination; it’s about awakening to the truth of who we are, made in God’s image, and walking in alignment with that truth. This awakening freed me from the chains of guilt and fear and allowed me to embrace God’s love in its purest form.

What Is Christ Consciousness?

When I began to see the Bible as a tool for awakening—not for condemnation—it became a source of hope and empowerment instead of a weapon of judgment. This shift wasn’t about rejecting God; it was about rejecting what no longer served my spiritual growth. Once I began to see myself as a reflection of Christ-consciousness—of divine love and purpose—I realized that choosing myself wasn’t selfish; it was faithful. Aligning with God’s truth meant aligning with the truth of who I was created to be: someone worthy of love, joy, and peace.

The Bible Is Meant For Reference, Not Reverence.

So how do you choose yourself? Why should you? And how do you let go of the pain while still honoring the person who hurt you as a creation of the Most High? Here’s what I’ve learned on my journey:

The Questions

You are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are worthy of kindness, respect, and reciprocity—not because of what you’ve done for others but because of who you are, energetically. Choosing yourself isn’t selfish. When you allow yourself to stay in situations that diminish your spirit, you step out of alignment/balance. Choosing yourself is a way of saying, “I trust Source’s vision for my life more than my fear of letting go.”Our worth isn’t dependent on what we do. When I stopped seeking external validation and started aligning with this truth, I found peace and confidence I’d never known.

1. Recognize that you ARE loved

Even the hardest experiences serve a purpose. The ones that hurt us often teach us the most about boundaries, strength, and resilience. They help us grow spiritually as we learn to lean on a Higher Power for healing and clarity. But seeing the lessons is only the beginning—accepting them and acting accordingly is where true growth happens. Acceptance means not just acknowledging the reality of what you’ve been through, but choosing to let the lessons shape your choices, your boundaries, and your future. Growth doesn’t happen unless you take what the pain teaches you and apply it.

2. See (and ACCEPT) the lessons in the pain.

Taking the time to reflect on your experiences, your choices, and your patterns isn’t “overthinking”—it’s honoring the growth process, and it is what fertilizes the fruit of discernment. Introspection allows you to see not only what happened but why it happened and how to prevent the same mistakes or misalignments from repeating. True introspection is productive, not self-destructive; it’s a necessary tool to fully accept and integrate the lessons life teaches you.

A Note About Introspection:

Growing up, I was taught to pray for my enemies. I believe now that while it’s often easier said than done, it’s one of the most powerful actions of faith you can take. When you pray for someone who wronged you, and you do it from love, you release bitterness and open the door for good to work in both their life and yours. Praying for them doesn’t mean excusing their behavior—it means trusting divine justice & grace. Praying for those who hurt me taught me that forgiveness isn’t about them—it’s about my relationship with my Higher Power and Self. Releasing anger allowed me to step into peace<warningtag>.</warningtag>

3. Pray for those who’ve hurt you — and do it from the SOUL.

Letting go doesn’t mean forgetting or pretending the pain didn’t happen. It means surrendering the situation to God’s hands. It’s saying, “Lord, I’ve done what I can. I trust You to handle the rest. ” Letting go is a daily choice, one that releases you from carrying the weight of someone else’s actions and opens you up to God’s peace and provision. Letting go doesn’t erase the scars, but it transforms them. It is an act of trust, not always easy. But every time I surrendered a situation, I felt lighter, freer. It’s amazing how much peace comes when you release what was never yours to hold.

4. “Let Go and Let God.”

Choosing yourself means making room for what is in store. It looks like setting boundaries that protect your peace, surrounding yourself with people who pour into you, and pursuing the dreams Source has placed in your heart. It’s walking in the confidence that God will fill the empty places with joy, purpose, and abundance. After letting go of the toxicity I had encountered in both the good and bad relationships of my life—and more importantly, releasing my own toxic patterns of behavior and thought—I discovered a newfound emotional and mental freedom.

5. Create space for joy and growth.

When we’re in the thick of it, hearing phrases like “Have faith!” or “You just need to trust!” often stirs up resentment instead of comfort. Why would we trust, after all, when all we can see through the lens of our pain and human perspective is evidence that God has abandoned us? I totally get it. And yet…Trusting isn’t just a feeling; it’s an act—a decision to believe in what you can’t yet see. Energy is real, and the science of spirituality is real. Trust is the ultimate act of faith.

6. Trust God, Source, the Universe—whatever name you’ve given it

Trusting is how you prove to yourself that you are serious about stepping into the life destiny has for you. Trust is the ultimate act of faith. It’s not just believing that God exists; it’s living like you believe something does, and is actively working in your life. When I trusted Source fully, even in the hardest moments, I found that doors opened, paths cleared, and peace replaced fear. Energy responds to energy. The more I trusted, the more I received. Trusting doesn’t mean you’ll always understand what’s happening—it means you believe that what’s happening is for the highest good.

Trusting, Continued

Choosing yourself doesn’t mean cutting others off with anger or resentment. It looks like loving from a distance, honoring your boundaries with grace, releasing resentment while still protecting your peace, and praying for them even as you move forward on your path. It’s releasing control and trusting Source to heal what’s broken, finding strength in quiet moments, peace in surrender, and joy in the new opportunities.Choosing yourself doesn’t mean rejecting others; it means loving them in a way that also allows you to love yourself, creating space for God to work in both your life and theirs.

What does choosing yourself in a righteous way look like?

Choose yourself, not in defiance of others, but in alignment with the love and purpose. Whatever “Source” is to you, let it work in your heart, trust it with your future, and watch how life transforms into something more beautiful.Through all the challenges I’ve faced, “Source” has shown me, again and again, that Source is faithful. I haven’t achieved anything on my own. Source has been my provider, my guide, and my reason to keep going. If Source could bring me through the valley, I promise Source can do the same for you. You are not alone, and you are not forgotten.

Walk YOUR Path

Everything I am in this Now—everything I’ve overcome, everything I do or don’t do today—is because of God/Source. I live, breathe, and move forward with a deep sense of gratitude to the One who carried me through valleys I thought I’d never escape. God/Source truly led me out of the valley of the shadow of…

religionandspirituality

Religion & Spirituality

Choosing Yourself: What I’ve Learned From My Journey of Letting Go and Letting God

Why always me? Why are things so bad for me all the time? When happiness passes through me, sadness captures it. When the sun shines on me, darkness engulfs it. When everything seems to be all right, something goes against it.

How do you un-love someone?How do you forget the way they walked, laughed and cried?How do you turn off the ache in your heart at the memory of them?How do you walk away knowing that they never felt anything for you?Do you perform a ritual of pretence daily?Do you cry at the beauty you've lost?Do you call yourself a fool?Do you look in the mirror and ask why?Why did you not love me?Why did you not see me?Why did you just want to be friends? Why does it hurt still?

Sia: Do you want me to join a gym?'Rithvik: 'No, there's no need for that. You can exercise occasionally to stay fit, but don't lose weight for me. I have no problem because I love you the way you are. You may not have an amazing figure or a flat stomach, but I love you and I don't want you to change.'

Find A Person Who Loves You The Way You Are

It's painful to know that you are the only one who's in love while the other person hardly cares.I got up in the middle of the night. All I could bear was a loud cry coming from someone who was hurt, the cry was familiar to me. I searched for that someone who was crying so loudly. I looked around the room even though it was dark. I tried to calm myself but the voices were so loud that I could really feel the pain. There was no one, until I stood in front of the mirror. I could see my reflection, those tears and the pain.

Should I smile because we are friends or cry because we are just friends? Blessed with the gift of the gab, Apurv manages to charm everyone in his company. Like most teenage boys, he longs for a girlfriend but hasn't found one yet. In another part of town, beautiful and popular Amyra leads a flawless life. All the boys desire her and all the girls want to be her best friend. A chance encounter with Amyra in the college canteen makes Apurv fall head over heels for her. But it isn't long before he realizes that she is not interested in him, at least not in the way he wants her to be. Can Apurv get Amyra to change her mind before it's too late, or will he be friend-zoned forever?

She Friend-Zoned My Love

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