"Who you are is defined by what you're willing to struggle for."

"The desire for more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one's negative experience is itself a positive experience."

"Life is essentially an endless series of problems. The solution to one problem is merely the creation of another."

Don't just sit there. Do something. The answers will follow."

“Don’t hope for a life without problems,” the panda said. “There’s no such thing. Instead, hope for a life full of good problems.”

"Maturity is what happens when one learns to only give a fuck about what's truly fuckworthy."

“Being wrong opens us up to the possibility of change. Being wrong brings the opportunity for growth.”

“Not giving a fuck does not mean being indifferent; it means being comfortable with being different. ”

8 Quotes from the book " The Subtle Art of Not Giving Fuck"

#1 New York Times Bestseller Over 10 million copies sold In this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger cuts through the crap to show us how to stop trying to be "positive" all the time so that we can truly become better, happier people. For decades, we’ve been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. "F**k positivity," Mark Manson says. "Let’s be honest, shit is f**ked and we have to live with it." In his wildly popular Internet blog, Manson doesn’t sugarcoat or equivocate. He tells it like it is—a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth that is sorely lacking today. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is his antidote to the coddling, let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected American society and spoiled a generation, rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up. Manson makes the argument, backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes, that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach lemons better. Human beings are flawed and limited—"not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault." Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek. There are only so many things we can give a f**k about so we need to figure out which ones really matter, Manson makes clear. While money is nice, caring about what you do with your life is better, because true wealth is about experience. A much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders-and-look-you-in-the-eye moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is a refreshing slap for a generation to help them lead contented, grounded lives.

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

motivationandinspiration

Motivation & Inspiration

books

Books

#1 New York Times BestsellerOver 10 million copies soldIn this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger cuts through the crap to show us how to stop trying to be "positive" all the time so that we can truly become better, happier people.For decades, we’ve been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. "F**k positivity," Mark Manson says. "Let’s be honest, shit is f**ked and we have to live with it." In his wildly popular Internet blog, Manson doesn’t sugarcoat or equivocate. He tells it like it is—a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth that is sorely lacking today. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is his antidote to the coddling, let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected American society and spoiled a generation, rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up.Manson makes the argument, backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes, that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach lemons better. Human beings are flawed and limited—"not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault." Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek.There are only so many things we can give a f**k about so we need to figure out which ones really matter, Manson makes clear. While money is nice, caring about what you do with your life is better, because true wealth is about experience. A much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders-and-look-you-in-the-eye moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is a refreshing slap for a generation to help them lead contented, grounded lives.

Mark Manson (born 1984) is a professional blogger, entrepreneur, and former dating coach. Since 2007, he's been helping people with their emotional and relationship problems. He has worked with thousands of people from over 30 different countries. He regularly writes and updates his blog at: www.markmanson.net

Mark Manson

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

Never Put Too Much Trust in Friends, Learn How to Use Enemies

Keep Others in Suspended Terror: Cultivate an Air of Unpredictability

"Many a serious thinker has been produced in prisons, where we have nothing to do but think."

"He who poses as a fool is not a fool."

"Fools say that they learn by experience. I prefer to profit by others' experience."

THE MILLION COPY INTERNATIONAL BESTSELLER Drawn from 3,000 years of the history of power, this is the definitive guide to help readers achieve for themselves what Queen Elizabeth I, Henry Kissinger, Louis XIV and Machiavelli learnt the hard way. Law 1: Never outshine the master Law 2: Never put too much trust in friends; learn how to use enemies Law 3: Conceal your intentions Law 4: Always say less than necessary. The text is bold and elegant, laid out in black and red throughout and replete with fables and unique word sculptures. The 48 laws are illustrated through the tactics, triumphs and failures of great figures from the past who have wielded - or been victimised by - power. ___________________________________ (From the Playboy interview with Jay-Z, April 2003) PLAYBOY: Rap careers are usually over fast: one or two hits, then styles change and a new guy comes along. Why have you endured while other rappers haven't? JAY-Z: I would say that it's from still being able to relate to people. It's natural to lose yourself when you have success, to start surrounding yourself with fake people. In The 48 Laws of Power, it says the worst thing you can do is build a fortress around yourself. I still got the people who grew up with me, my cousin and my childhood friends. This guy right here (gestures to the studio manager), he's my friend, and he told me that one of my records, Volume Three, was wack. People set higher standards for me, and I love it.

Amoral, cunning, ruthless, and instructive, this multi-million-copy New York Times bestseller is the definitive manual for anyone interested in gaining, observing, or defending against ultimate control – from the author of The Laws of Human Nature. In the book that People magazine proclaimed “beguiling” and “fascinating,” Robert Greene and Joost Elffers have distilled three thousand years of the history of power into 48 essential laws by drawing from the philosophies of Machiavelli, Sun Tzu, and Carl Von Clausewitz and also from the lives of figures ranging from Henry Kissinger to P.T. Barnum.   Some laws teach the need for prudence (“Law 1: Never Outshine the Master”), others teach the value of confidence (“Law 28: Enter Action with Boldness”), and many recommend absolute self-preservation (“Law 15: Crush Your Enemy Totally”). Every law, though, has one thing in common: an interest in total domination. In a bold and arresting two-color package, The 48 Laws of Power is ideal whether your aim is conquest, self-defense, or simply to understand the rules of the game.

Robert Greene is an American author of books on strategy, power, and seduction. He has written six international bestsellers, including The 48 Laws of Power, The Art of Seduction, The 33 Strategies of War, The 50th Law, Mastery, and The Laws of Human Nature.

Robert Greene

The 48 Laws of Power

The 48 Laws Of Power

The person that you are and you were doesn't matter. Whatever is happening or has happened doesn't define you as a whole, You're a blank page where anything can be written or drawn.See your experiences good or bad as a brick used to build a house, it's just a part of the process it's not the whole house. An element to a bigger picture.But just like in house building, if you are envisioning an amazing home, it starts with a plan. Take a pen and a paper and start thinking what kind of person you want to be and HOW you can be that person. Baby steps.

You're A Blank Page

Biologically speaking you're not even the same person as you were last month, last week, or yesterday because your cells constantly renew itself.Since you're not the same, ask yourself "am i the person i want to be today?"If not, then start building that person, choose to be that person every single day. Don't worry so far about the future, that's where anxiety comes in, because you're not there yet and you can't do much about it - focus on the present.Bill gates wasn't born as one of the wealthiest people, he was self-built.

Baby Bill Gates Isn't Bill Gates

Episode 390 - Success is not as hard as it is portrayed. The problem is that most people are trying to get there the wrong way. Take the tips in this episode to easily get to your goals!

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Mindset Mentor - Success is EASY!

In 2012, Dr. Martin Seligman, a pioneer of positive psychology, proposed a theory of wellbeing, known as the Perma model: • Positive emotion• Engagement• Relationship• Meaning• Accomplishment You can be happy,if you choose to be happy.

What Is PERMA Model

Positive emotions, such as joy, hope, love, and gratitude are indicators of happiness. Here's how you generate them: • Reflect on what you're grateful for• Spend time with loved ones• Listen to uplifting music• Do activities you enjoy

Positive emotion

When you are in flow, absorbed in an activity, you are engaged. When you respond to challenges with your strengths, it puts you in a flow state. • Learn your strengths and use them • Do activities you love• Live in the moment

Engagement

As a social creature, you need to feel supported, loved, and valued by others: Improve your relationships to increase intimacy, wellbeing, and satisfaction. • Join a class or group• Reconnect with past friends• Learn something new about a friend

Relationship

To be truly happy, you need to have a purpose. To serve something greater than yourself gives you a sense of value and worth. To increase meaning: • Get involved in a cause that matters• Use your passion to help others• Volunteer your time and skills

Meaning

You feel accomplished when you set challenging goals and work to achieve them. Intrinsic goals lead to more significant gains in wellbeing than extrinsic goals. • Set SMART goals• Take consistent action• Reflect on your past wins

Accomplishment

If you want to be happy, psychology says you need to read this PERMA model as it's practical and science-backed.

Positive psychologist Martin Seligman created the PERMA Model of Happiness to measure and assess general happiness and fulfillment in life.

Using PERMA Model of Happiness to Become Happy Easily | Practical Psychology

Save your energy for things that actually matter (like building your company) by disentangling yourself from toxic people.We've all encountered emotional vampires in our lives.They're the colleague that can't stop talking about themselves, the acquaintance who always leaves you exhausted after even a short meeting, or that guy at the next desk over who draws you into hour-long bitch-fests about every little annoyance in the office.They love the drama, but you just lose valuable time (and energy) you could put into making your company more successful.

How to Spot an Emotional Vampire and a 5-Step Process to Defeat One When You Do

You can definitively identify an emotional vampire with one simple test: If after hanging out with someone, you feel worn out and depleted, that person is a vampire. If after hanging out with someone, you still feel full of energy, that person is not a vampire.

Identifying Emotional Vampires

So, what do you do once you spot an emotional vampire sucking up too much of your time and energy? Here is a simple five-step plan for neutralizing their toxic effects.

Actions To Take

Your first impulse upon encountering an emotional vampire might be to just roll your eyes and walk away. That can work if the person is someone you never have to see again, but if it's a work colleague, the experts have another suggestion: Try a little empathy. Sure their overdramatizing and self-absorption are annoying, but these behaviors often are just reactions to the same kind of insecurities and anxieties we all struggle with. Recognizing that is more likely to give you the insight (and stamina) you need to negotiate problematic relationships long-term.

1.Opt for empathy.

We all complain sometimes. The healthy way to do it involves laying out the problem and genuinely searching for solutions. The emotional vampire way to do it is just moan endlessly while looking for ever more validation. Which is why your best bet when confronted with an emotional vampire's endless rants is to gently guide them back to a better mode of complaining.

2. Validate and redirect.

If your co-worker is complaining about a particular work struggle, for example, say something like, “That sounds really difficult. Have you thought about what you're going to do?: Or maybe, “Have you talked to [the person they are complaining about] directly about it? Did your manager have any advice?” This can remind them that they do have the option of taking action to change their situation.

You might think that vigorously agreeing with an emotional vampire might give them what they want so that they go away. Not so. Like the classic-blood sucking variety, emotional vampires have an endless thirst, only theirs is for drama. The more you give them, the more they'll demand. Do your best to stay emotionally blank when interacting with them (some call this the gray rock method, as in try as much as possible to resemble a gray rock when interacting with toxic people.) This isn't rudeness, it's teaching the energy vampire that you are not going to be a reliable source of energy.

3. Don't feed the beast. 

While empathy can give you the stamina to deal with unavoidable emotional vampires, that doesn't mean you should tolerate behavior that leaves you drained. Continue training your emotional vampire that you're useless as a victim by being firm with your boundaries. Tell them at the outset of a conversation, "I only have X minutes to talk," for instance, and stick to your guns.

4. Set consistent boundaries. 

The goal of this whole process is to keep yourself sane (and your schedule on track). It's totally OK to outright tell an emotional vampire that as long as you do it nicely. Go ahead and tell your drama queen colleagues that you're falling behind and really need to be heads down for awhile. Besides being true, it also encourages them to find more constructive ways to deal with their issues.

5. Focus on self care. 

Allow the emotional vampires prowling the halls of your office free rein and they'll drain you to a husk. Take the simple steps above and you should be able to preserve your energy for more useful tasks than feeding their egos and taming their anxieties.

“Yes, the people around us can be insensitive, narcissistic, toxic, and sometimes even abusive, but it is up to us to take that energy on or let it flow through us. No one is responsible for taking away our happiness but us.”-Aletheia Luna, Awakened Empath: The Ultimate Guide to Emotional, Psychological and Spiritual Healing

Quote on Energy Vampires #1

“If you’ve ever met an energy vampire (and you probably have), you’ll get the distinct feeling that this person has an intense need to prey off the vitality of others. There is a kind of acute neediness present in energy vampires which can be quite overwhelming and depleting to those they come in contact with.”-Mateo Sol, Awakened Empath: The Ultimate Guide to Emotional, Psychological and Spiritual Healing

Quote on Energy Vampires #2

“Energy vampires prey on others because they are in pain, and their behavior is a disguised cry for help. However, the important thing to remember is that you are not responsible for resolving their issues. While you can offer help to an energy vampire, it is ultimately their responsibility to sort our their struggles.”-Aletheia Luna, Awakened Empath: The Ultimate Guide to Emotional, Psychological and Spiritual Healing

Quote on Energy Vampires #3

“An energy vampire can never “steal” energy from us unless we consciously or unconsciously permit them to.”-Mateo Sol, Awakened Empath: The Ultimate Guide to Emotional, Psychological and Spiritual Healing

Quote on Energy Vampires #4

5 Step Process for Dealing with Emotional Vampires

Save your energy for things that actually matter (like building your company) by disentangling yourself from toxic people.

mentalhealth

Mental Health

communication

Communication

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

Trauma is the consistent little things, it is the aggressions and micro aggressions in a person's life that causes them to have their own worldview.

Trauma 

I remember what Gabrielle Bernstein once said, "We are all traumatized. You can't be alive in this world right now at this time or even decades ago without experiencing trauma in some form."The big myth about Trauma is that it happens after a big tragedy. But that's not necessarily true. Oprah Winfrey said it all right: "Trauma doesn't have to have a great big capital T on it. It's really how you were loved. And that neglect and trauma are hand in hand because both are equally toxic".

Trauma doesn't have to have a big capital T on it

Oprah Winfrey: people are as dysfunctional, as unhappy, as disoriented in their lives based on how far they are from the centre of themselves. And the centre is where wholeness lies. Where there is no centre and sense of wholeness and love for yourself, there is going to be disarray, chaos, confusion, disfunction in life. People behave based on how they were loved, and they were able to process that in a way to love other people.

People Behave Based On How They Were Loved

As we grow up we pick up craps from this world and carry that baggage with us all our lives. We carry those traumas and pains that people have done to us. And now it's ours to deal with. We have to own it. It's now ours to fix the problem that people gave us. That makes no sense and it's not fair but if we keep living in the 'Always Me' mentality we will never come out of our traumas.We have such potential to heal ourselves. We are our own healers. Look inside of you and ask the voice inside of you and it will answer all the questions.

Start With Yourself

People suffer because they are living in a denial stage. The more the resistance the more pain it brings along with it. The first step towards healing is to acknowledge and be truthful about it. Awareness comes when we ask ourselves some crucial questions like—<ul><li>What are the memories that are stuck with me?</li><li>Where it came from?</li><li>Why I'm feeling the way I'm feeling?</li><li>What are the triggers?</li></ul>When we ask ourselves questions we finally allow ourselves with an opportunity to understand ourselves and others around us.

The First Step Is Awareness

To understand is to deeply analyze the situation from a different and unbiased point of view. Often our traumas are led by deep rooted anger, frustration and shame. These are buried deep inside our traumas and facing them is difficult. The whole process of facing and understanding them should be gentle. Don't put yourself in a position where you're gonna blow out your system with too much digging too fast.It is likely that after going through a traumatic experience we thought of that experience in one way, in the same way our whole life.

Understanding The Feelings

When we experience trauma we feel disembodied, we close up ourselves and build a fortress around us to protect us from experiencing that samepain again. But little do we know that the protector part of us is not actually protecting us, it's deepening the wounds but it looks like it's protecting us.Self compassion and compassion for others will liberate you from the pain. Learn to put yourself in the shoes of others, ask why they did what they did. Love for yourself is a huge part in healing that inner child within.

Compassion Is The Key

Trauma is the inability to be present.

Easier said than done, it's difficult to forgive, it feels so wrong but it's the one right thing you can do. It's in your hand. The more we hold onto something, old grudges, pain the harder it gets to let go because even if the incident is in the past we're carrying the baggage of it in our present moment. It weighs on you and hurts you more than the person who did it to you. The most freeing thing to do is to forgive yourself and to forgive others.

Learn To Forgive

We all know that Growth happens outside of our comfort zones. Similar is all the hardship we experience in life. Every experience and pain is a leverage for your growth. Every little discomfort makes you a more stronger, better version of yourself.We can look into the experience for what we've gained from it. Everything in life is for us, it's happening for us not to us to make us more resilient.

Learning And Growth

Every single event change us or change our worldview for better or for worse. Similar for our experiences. Every single event change us. We can always rewrite our stories with more love and compassion. We can always rewrite our limiting beliefs with a much more positive outlook and growth mindset for the betterment of our lives and in a way that serves us.

The Journey To Transformation

Fame isn't what you think of yourself, it's what other people think of you. If you come into that & you don't have a grounded centered self you'll be controlled by the outside instead of the inside. If you come in to fame not in the fullness of knowing who you are or what you're supposed to do with that fame, whenever somebody like you or doesn't like you that determines whether or not you're having a good day or bad day & you have lost control of your own life. What fame teaches you is to grow the wholeness within yourself so that you are not controlled by other's outside opinions of you.

Overcome Trauma And Still Be Successful

As humans we have a desire to remain in the familiar. All of the things that happened in the beginning to us begins to lay down pathways. We have all of these patterned routes that many of us have been rehearsing since birth. Usually this begins out of pain, out of experiences where we had to adapt. They have long term consequences but usually in the immediate we're avoiding something, some form of pain or discomfort or we're attempting to feel loved or connected. Anything out of this bound can feel threatening. Those patterns are what feels safest keeping us stuck in those patterns.

What's Holding You Back

The only way we can go forward is by going all the way back. To the beginning, to your childhood. That's where everything starts.

Sometimes you do horrible things to your child and later you reason that out by saying you're doing this out of love but deep down you know it's not true, something is broken inside you that still needs fixing.You think you're protecting your children or being okay when you're doing destructive things around your young children. They don't have the language but they are taking in the energy and frequency and they're absorbing it all.So please be mindful of yourself, be mindful when dealing with kids. Because what happens in the tender age is going to dictate the rest of their lives.

To Dear Parents

Everything that happened to you can also be a strength builder for you if you allow.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step

health

Health

Trauma: The Journey to Healing

How To Heal Emotional Wounds & Trauma

At first glance, the term emotions seem simple. In fact, many people even conflate it with feelings. But what does the term actually mean, and is it as simple as we tend to think?Emotions are a complex notion in human biology, psychology, and sociology, and our understanding of emotions has changed over time. Emotions play a central role in human lives and relationships and, for many people, form a pillar of human experience. They can run the gamut between positive and negative, and they ultimately influence—to some extent—most people’s overall health and well-being.

Emotions: The What, Where, and How

Emotions play a central role in human lives and relationships and, for many people, form a pillar of human experience. Much can be gained by cultivating a better understanding of what emotions are in general and how they shape individual lives in particular.

Emotions: The What, Where, and How - The Human Condition

<ul><li>There's a ton of name churn now - new names coming in, old names dropping out of use</li><li>Names that were rising fastest in popularity in 2021 apparently included Loyal, Ozzy, Emberlynn, and Raya</li><li>These are names meant to define one's individuality rather than blend into the crowd</li><li>Originality is the point</li><li>An entire pop-culture subgenre dedicated to making fun of made-up baby names</li><li>On Facebook, there are many groups dedicated to this.</li></ul>

Name churn

<ul><li>For decades, social psychologists have researched the links between given names and life experiences</li><li>Names represent an act of possibly futile branding on the part of parents.</li><li> "Cultural" names are very often "made up."</li></ul>

Why do we mock the names we mock?

<ul><li>Status is a way that people help make sense of their social worlds.</li><li>When deciding how to approach a stranger, we look for clues in their dress and their manner. These clues help us decide how we want to behave.</li><li>Class is a major way that status is experienced and communicated. And over the last few decades, class has become less stable, less guaranteed - for everyone, including white people, for a change.</li></ul>

Status and class

Why do we mock the first names we mock? It’s clear that the act of “making up” names for kids is a breach of some sense of decency for a lot of white people in particular. It comes down to class anxiety and status policing.

parenting

Parenting

artsandculture

Society, Arts & Culture

Why Do We Mock Names?

Every year, most students have a few nerves about going back to school. This is normal with the change in routine and unknowns of what a new school year will bring. School may also bring unique worries and pressures that cause anxiety, such as:<ul><li>The need to fit in socially and make friends</li><li>Fears of bullying or peer pressure</li><li>Academic pressure to make good grades</li><li>Athletic pressure (to make the team or to perform well on the field)</li><li>Life changes, like entering a new school</li><li>Anxiety about security and safety at school.</li></ul>

Why children get back-to-school anxiety

While the pandemic is no longer a "new" thing, highly contagious variants continue to cause its spread.<ul><li>Students may worry about their health or a loved one's.</li><li>They may also worry about potential interruptions to their school year or extracurricular activities. The stress of the past few years may continue to affect students as well.</li></ul>It's important to validate any concerns your child has by checking in with them frequently. Encouraging children to focus on what they can control is a good way to manage anxiety, too.

Anxiety about going back to school during a pandemic

Children show anxiety in different ways. If you're concerned your child is feeling anxious about school, be on the lookout for changes in your child's behavior and mood.<ul><li>Signs of anxiety can include:</li><li>Disturbances in sleep</li><li>Increased defiance or irritability</li><li>Lack of concentration</li><li>Less energy</li><li>Loss of appetite</li><li>Physical symptoms like nausea, stomach aches, muscle tension or dizziness</li><li>Refusal to go to school</li><li>Sadness or crying.</li></ul>

Signs a child is feeling anxious about school

<ul><li>Pay attention to your child's feelings and listen to their concerns.</li><li>Explain to your child what you know about what the school year or classroom will look like to help them mentally prepare.</li><li>Show children how to behave and how to feel about themselves, even in the midst of anxiety.</li><li>Establish routines. Being consistent with bedtime, mealtime, playtime, screen time and expressions of love can create a sense of stability.</li><li>Coach your child through relaxation exercises.</li><li>Show encouragement and celebrate the wins.</li><li>Seek mental health support if needed. Pay attention to signs of anxiety.</li></ul>

Tips to help manage your child's back-to-school anxiety

Back to school resources & advice for parents

education

Learning & Education

food

Food

Back to School Basics for Parents

Going back to school can bring excitement for some kids, and for others, some anticipation and worry.

The pressures of a new school year can trigger anxiety in kids. A Children's Health psychologist shares ways to help decrease back-to-school anxiety.

Back-to-School anxiety: Ways to help your child cope

This is the emotional stress parents impose upon their children and is often related to academic performance, extracurricular activities, social standards, appearance, friendships, and romantic relationships.Certain parenting experiences might prompt you to pressure your kids to make different choices, such as when:<ul><li>your child struggles with something that came easily to you</li><li>your child makes different life decisions than you did</li><li>your child chooses friends who you think are poor influences.</li></ul>You may feel that your own choices could make their lives easier, more successful, or earn you the admira<warningtag>tion of other parents in your circle.</warningtag>

Parental pressure

There are two main forms of parental pressure: direct pressure and indirect pressure.<ul><li>Direct pressure often involves yelling, force, or complaining.</li><li> Indirect pressure may involve guilt-tripping your child or reminding them of rigid expectations.</li></ul>

Types of parental pressure

Excessive or inappropriate parental pressure carries many mental health consequences for kids as they grow up.Studies suggest that children who grow up with parents who yelled, shouted, or verbally humiliated them may have a greater likelihood of experiencing challenges  such as:<ul><li>depression</li><li>negative self-talk</li><li>anger management problems</li><li>physical aggression</li><li>delinquency</li><li>eating disorders and body image</li><li>trouble maintaining relationships.</li></ul>

The mental health effects of parental pressure

Parents might feel the need to pressure their children for many reasons.<ul><li>Research shows that 86% of parents pressure their kids because they grew up with distant or negligent parents and wanted to pay more attention to their own children.</li><li>Guilt — often stemming from big life disruptions like moves or divorces — was another reason cited. Parents fear being neglectful during these upheavals, and they overcompensate with parental pressure.</li></ul>

What causes parents to pressure children? 

Criticism drawing attention to your child’s mistakes or behaviors that bother you can cause your child’s defenses to go up, perpetuating what originally sparked the criticism.Instead, try praising your child for what they do well. Studies recommend working your way up to offering four times more praise than criticism.Parenting with praise may boost your child’s confidence and improve your child’s academic performance, reinforcing their belief that they can do the work and be successful at it.

Use praise more than criticism

<ul><li>Avoid teasing or criticizing your child about their weight or appearance. These types of behaviors are strongly tied to the development of eating disorders in young adults.</li><li>Monitoring or restricting food can backfire, leading your child to adopt unhealthy habits and hide them from you.</li><li>Instead, swap discussing weight or body image in favor of encouraging healthy habits, like eating enough nutritious foods and exercising.</li></ul>

Focus on health, not appearance

You might be tempted to intervene in your child’s life out of a sense of duty or control, such as:<ul><li>asking your child’s teachers for extra credit</li><li>scolding a classmate who hurt your child’s feelings</li><li>hiding or restricting access to food.</li></ul>But if you help make your child feel capable, they’ll be more motivated to solve problems in the future. Consider talking with your child about solutions to their problems without attempting to solve them yourself.

Don’t do your child’s work for them

Authoritative parenting — rather than authoritarian parenting — is tied to high self-esteem in children. When parents are overly controlling, children can lose faith in themselves and their ability to do things or listen to their own feelings.Instead of telling your child that it’s your way or the highway, try setting house rules with their input and enforce them consistently.

Set rules, not ultimatums

It’s easy to assume that your child is a smaller extension of you who feels the same way you do about the same things.But when you give credence to your child’s feelings instead of seeking to control them — even when they’re not the same as yours — you acknowledge that they’re their own person.Validating your child’s feelings and keeping communication about emotions open and honest can help your child learn to trust their gut in life

Validate your child’s feelings

Parental pressure may come from good intentions, but it can hamper a child’s self-esteem.

Parental pressure often comes from a place of good intentions, but too much pressure can have harmful mental health consequences.

The Effects of Parental Pressure on Children’s Mental Health

Find 100+ Psychology Facts about Human Behaviour, Mind or Nature - Curated from Videos, Podcasts, Books & Articles - Genuine Insights from Other People