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Control Your Feelings - Don't Express Them
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Emotions are responses to information
Believe wrong information and you’ll experience wrong feelings.
For example, if you think something about a co-worker, don’t trust those feelings and don’t express those feelings.
At best, let those feelings motivate calm, systematic investigation.
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Feelings are...
- Responders to perceived reality. They aren’t the reality.
- Responses to our imagination.
- Confirmation: Always confirm imagination and perception by investigating reality.
- Admiration: People admire and respect leaders who control their feelings. Additionally, others feel it’s safe to trust us when we’re stable and predictable.
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SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:
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Key Ideas
Pause
Pausing gives you time to stop and think before you act. Doing so can prevent you from doing things you'll later regret.
If you feel your emotions getting out of control, take a pause. If pos...
Mind Your Tone
We tend to respond to people using the same tone they use to speak to us.
If you need to have an emotionally charged conversation, speak in a way that's calm and collected. And if a discussion begins to escalate, focus on softening your tone or lowering your voice; others are likely to mimic you.
Mute
Sharing your opinion when others are aggravated can be counterproductive. If things get emotional, and you can’t leave, you may need to stop talking and let them express their feelings.
Breathe deeply and remember that moods are temporary. And that their words at this point may be extreme or exaggerated; resist the urge to respond in kind. Often, once they let everything out, they'll calm down.
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Emotions
They are basal responses that begin in the subcortical areas of the brain responsible for producing biochemical reactions to environmental stimuli that have a direct impact on our physical state.&n...
Feelings
Feelings are preceded by emotions and tend to be our reactions to them. Emotions are a more generalized experience across humans, but feelings are more subjective and influenced by our personal experiences and interpretations, thus they are harder to measure.
Negative Emotions
They can be defined as unpleasant or unhappy emotions evoked in individuals to express a negative effect towards something.
Although some are labeled negative, all emotions are normal to the human experience. And it’s important to understand when and why negative emotions might arise, and develop positive behaviors to address them.
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The Power of Forgiveness
Forgive. Research indicates that forgiveness makes you less angry and more healthy.
Dealing with Anger According to Context
Sometimes suppression is the only thing you can do to avoid an escalation. And sometimes reappraisal can cause you to tolerate bad situations.
But that said, telling yourself a more compassionate story about what’s going on inside the other person’s head is usually the best way to go.