4 tips to stay connected when your friends live far away : Life Kit
Curated from: npr.org
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Be Explicit and Intentional About Keeping Your Long Distance Friend
If you want to keep people in your life, you have to tell them and be ready to put in the effort.
Whether you've just moved away from your friend or you've been apart for years, long-distance friendships require a reciprocal commitment. That means reaching out, finding time to hang out and showing your friend, you value them.
And the reciprocal is true – remember: They value you, too.
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Use Common Interests to Feel Connected – and Get Real
The anchor also generates exclusivity, and that's something that builds our friendships when we have memories, experiences inside jokes that we share with one person that we don't have with other people.
The key to building on your bond from afar is vulnerability. Your ability to show vulnerability is a big predictor of whether you'll stay close over time. Try being vulnerable about what's going on in your life and asking questions that welcome your friend's vulnerability.
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Don't Hesitate to Reach Out
If you feel like your communication is in a rut, your friend probably feels that way too, so don't be afraid to be the first one to reach out. It shows your friend that they don't need to fear rejection.
And when phone calls won't cut it, think about a visit.
Visiting is one of the most important things we can do to keep a long-distance friendship going. There's no "right" frequency for visits, so talk about what works best for you and your friend.
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Conflicts Are Natural and Healthy – Address Them Openly
Separation is hard. Miscommunication happens. And because there's just a limited amount of time you get with your friend, it's easy to let conflicts go unaddressed.
Try not to sweep things under the rug. In fact, addressing conflict is one of the ways you can become closer with your friend. But bringing issues up can feel scary.
One common issue long-distance friends face is reciprocity. That's when one friend feels like they're putting more into the relationship than the other. The natural reaction is to back away, but, instead, try reaching out first.
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