When the lockdowns reached their zenith during 2020-21, this cubicle-championing colleague was missing the workplace.

Now, as work has gone hybrid, they’re back in the office five days a week, bounding from desk to desk, bemoaning homeworking as detrimental to “office culture”.

They see the office as a second home. Put a futon by their computer, and they’d sleep there if they could.

After two years of the pandemic, the teleworking technophobe is still struggling with its tech.

During virtual meetings, the group chat, technophobes are still unable to locate the chat tab. Their face fills the entire screen and at last year's annual general meeting, they became a meme after getting stuck in a video filter that made them look like a talking pizza.

The smug stay-at-homer hopes they won't have to return to the office, even if only for two days a week. Not commuting has saved them so much money.

No amount of free coffee or away days to the local abseiling centre will ever lure them back.

These colleagues think they’ve got hybrid office life hacked.

They now work a 3:2 timetable and ensure their mandatory three days in the office span from Tuesdays to Thursdays. No more blue Monday commutes or long Friday afternoons.

They entered the world of work during the lockdown, and it was months before they saw any of their colleagues in person.

Now that they're in the office for the first time, it's a shock to the system. Since then, they’ve drifted aimlessly around the workspace, wondering why some people actively choose to sardine themselves into public transport for two hours, only to spend the day making copious hot drinks.