Frances Frei: How to build (and rebuild) trust - Deepstash

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3 Pillars of Trust

3 Pillars of Trust

The 3 major components of trust are: Authenticity, Empathy and Logic

If you sense that I am being authentic, you are much more likely to trust me. If you sense that I have real rigor in my logic, you are far more likely to trust me. And if you believe that my empathy is directed towards you, you are far more likely to trust me. When all three of these things are working, we have great trust. But if any one of these three gets shaky, if any one of these three wobbles, trust is threatened.

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When your empathy wobbles

People just don't believe that we're mostly in it for them, and they believe that we're too self-distracted. And it's no wonder. 

So here's the prescription: identify where, when and to whom you are likely to offer your distraction. That should trace pretty perfectly to when, where, and to whom you are likely to withhold your empathy.

And if in those instances, we can come up with a trigger that gets us to look up, look at the people right in front of us, listen to them, deeply immerse ourselves in their perspectives, then we have a chance of having a sturdy leg of empathy.

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When your logic wobbles

It's often the case that our logic is sound, but it's our ability to communicate the logic that is in jeopardy. Super fortunately, there's a very easy fix to this.

Start with your point in a crisp half-sentence, and then give your supporting evidence. This means that people will be able to get access to our awesome ideas, and just as importantly, if you get cut off before you're done, you still get credit for the idea, as opposed to someone else coming in and snatching it from you.

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When your authenticity wobbles

We as a human species can sniff out in a moment, literally in a moment, whether or not someone is being their authentic true self. So in many ways, the prescription is clear. You don't want to have an authenticity wobble? Be you. Great. And that is super easy to do when you're around people who are like you.

But if you represent any sort of difference, the prescription to "be you" can be super challenging.

Wear whatever makes you feel fabulous. Pay less attention to what you think people want to hear from you and far more attention to what your authentic, awesome self needs to say.

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CURATED BY

yugjain

Generalist. Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people.

What if trust is broken despite our best effort at managing and building trust? Here are some ideas on how to handle that 😊

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