7 Ways to Move Forward and Be Happy, Even If You Have a Painful Past

People like to time travel in their heads. When we were kids, we would wish that we were grown-ups already. And when we become adults? Well, you know the answer.

Time travel happens all throughout our lives. When people are bored at work, they think about sitting at home watching TV. When they watch TV at home, they worry about work.

We end up wishing we had savored more of our time as it was. So instead, we should focus our time on being, rather than wishing. Take a moment right now, and enjoy the moment you are in.

We want everything — it’s human nature. We want money, recognition, fun, and good relationships. The problem is that there’s only so much time in the day and sacrifices are made.

If you look back and think that you should have had more fun, that’s probably because you said “no” to fun and “yes” to money. It’s not necessarily a bad thing. Think about what would happen if you had chosen to have more fun and worked less.

At one period in your life, you might focus on building a career. Then, your priority shifts to spending time with your family.

Wanting your past self to have spent time doing something else means placing your present set of values on your former self, which doesn’t make sense.

Our values evolve as we age. Even now, you might be spending time on a goal that your future self would think differently about. That’s okay. What’s important is that your values in that time align with the activities that you’re pursuing.

Things could have taken a turn for the worse. It’s impossible to really know what our alternative realities are, for better or worse.

So, we have to make do with what’s in front of us and act based on what we know.

• It’s sad to hear about people who go through traumatic incidents and later on blame themselves for something that wasn’t their fault. Maybe someone couldn’t rescue a loved one or lost an opportunity for personal growth.
• Often, people blame themselves when they look back at what they lost. At the same time, they remove from their memories the fact that they really didn’t have a choice at the time.

Don’t tear yourself up. Why not recognize that you did what you thought was right at the time?

Regrets are a byproduct of living, experiencing, and going through the ups and downs of life. No matter your decision, there are always going to be other options that you subsequently turned down.

Instead of letting those feelings of regret weigh you down, use them to your advantage. Reflect on why you feel remorse over something you did or didn’t do. Is there a way you can take those experiences and turn them into lessons for the future?

Looking into your past and re-experiencing those emotions leads to stagnation. But using the past as a guide on how to make better decisions in the future? Now that’s an opportunity for growth.