Kautsar Ikrami's Key Ideas from The Mastery of Love
by Don Miguel Ruiz, Janet Mills

As a person grows older, they lose their innocence, and hence, always try to follow societal beliefs.

This distorts a person’s capacity to love.

The same mind–limiting framework governs the way we relate with others.

If an individual had an abusive relationship with their parents, they might find themselves gravitating towards abusive relationships, as they believe that being abused is the only way to get attention.

Relationships must have their foundation in true love, and not in the need to get someone to validate our actions or to make us happy.

The quality of relationship depends on the attitude of all the parties involved.

• Love is respect. We should not control or change the people you love.
• Love is always kind. In contrast, fear drives you to anger, which is basically a mask for fear itself.
• Love embraces responsibility. If you love someone, you will never shy away from the responsibilities that the relationship places on you.
• Love is unconditional. There is no reason to be ashamed of the people you claim to love.

We will only love a person that we don’t feel the need to change.

Therefore, we must identify the strengths and the flaws of our partner, and accept them.

Also, do not project our sadness on our spouse. Realize that everyone has our own baggage, and so, carry ours.

People is addicted to love because they go into relationships for the wrong reasons.

They know what loneliness and rejection mean. Therefore, as soon as they get a sniff of love, they jump at it.

This will spur them to become obsessive. They are scared of returning to their state of loneliness.

Instead of loving out of fear, we are advised to love ourselves first.

Self–love will help us cherish being alone, which will stop us from jumping into a relationship for the wrong reasons.

When we start loving yourself more, it is easier to see the truth.

It also becomes easy to block those lies that people keep telling us.

We should uncover the truth to those lies we have always used to limit our growth.

Study ourselves deeply and determine what works for us.

Understand how we can break free of our past hurts.

If someone keeps draining our energy, find a way to remove ourselves from that situation.