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How to Win Friends & Influence People

How to Win Friends & Influence People

Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People is one of the most popular self-help books of all time. It has sold over 30 million copies. The key insight is that people are more likely to be persuaded by those who they like and respect:

  1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
  2. Smile to show that you're interested in someone.
  3. Remember names so people feel like you're paying attention to them.
  4. Be a good listener and not interrupt.
  5. Talk in terms of the other person's interests
  6. Make the other person feel important by acknowledging people's accomplishments

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1. Become genuinely interested in other people

1. Become genuinely interested in other people

This is the most important principle in Carnegie's book. It's about taking the time to learn about other people's interests and concerns. When you show genuine interest in someone, they're more likely to feel like you're paying attention to them and that you value their company.

His tips for becoming genuinely interested in other people:

  • Ask questions about their interests.
  • Listen attentively to their answers.
  • Show that you're interested by making eye contact, nodding your head, and smiling.
  • Find common ground with them.
  • Be empathetic and try to see things from their perspective.

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2. Smile

2. Smile

Smiling may seem like a simple gesture, but its impact is enormous. When you smile, you communicate to others that you are happy to see them. People are drawn to those who exude positivity and warmth.

Tips for smiling more:

  • Make eye contact with the person you're talking to.
  • Smile naturally, without forcing it.
  • Smile often, even when you don't feel like it.
  • Smile at people you don't know.

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3. Remember names

3. Remember names

People are more likely to like you if they feel like you're paying attention to them. One way to do this is to remember their names. When you remember someone's name, it shows that you're interested in them and that you care about them.

Tips for remembering names:

  • Repeat the name back to the person when you meet them.
  • Associate the person's name with something memorable, like their appearance or their job title.
  • Use the person's name often in conversation.
  • Make a list of names and their associated memories.

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4. Be a good listener

4. Be a good listener

It means paying attention to what the other person is saying and not interrupting. It also means asking questions to show that you're interested in what they have to say.

Here are some tips for being a good listener:

  • Make eye contact with the person you're talking to.
  • Lean in slightly and nod your head to show that you're listening.
  • Don't interrupt.
  • Ask questions to show that you're interested.
  • Summarize what the person has said to show that you understand.

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5. Talk in terms of the other person's interests

5. Talk in terms of the other person's interests

It means finding common ground with the person you're talking to and showing that you understand their point of view. When you talk about things that the other person is interested in, they're more likely to be engaged in the conversation and to feel like you're on their side.

Tips for talking in terms of the other person's interests:

  • Ask questions about their interests.
  • Share stories about your own experiences that are relevant to their interests.
  • Use humor that they'll appreciate.
  • Find common ground with them.

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6. Make the other person feel important.

6. Make the other person feel important.

It means acknowledging people's accomplishments and making them feel valued. When you make someone feel important, they're more likely to like you and to be persuaded by you.

Tips for making the other person feel important:

  1. Compliment them on their accomplishments.
  2. Thank them for their help.
  3. Show that you appreciate their input.
  4. Give them credit for their ideas.
  5. Make them feel like they're the expert.

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BENJAMIN FRANKLIN

A man convinced against his will, is of the same opinion still.

BENJAMIN FRANKLIN

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IDEAS CURATED BY

kary

Watercooler talks expert 🚰

Curious about different takes? Check out our How to Win Friends and Influence People Summary book page to explore multiple unique summaries written by Deepstash users.

Different Perspectives Curated by Others from How to Win Friends and Influence People

Curious about different takes? Check out our book page to explore multiple unique summaries written by Deepstash curators:

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