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How to Deal With Bad Coworkers | The Art of Manliness
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Conflict with bad coworkers
Having a bad coworker can really hamper your mood over the long haul, as well as your job performance.
How you deal with that conflict could very well be the difference between having a good job and having a bad job.
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Accept and Acknowledge Personality Differences
Small tics will be magnified and personality differences lead to varying work styles, which can easily turn into conflict.
Conflict can even arise from something as simple as you desiring a quiet lunch period, while your coworkers like to socialize. These types of things are simply differences in how you work or socialize, and don’t necessarily make your coworkers bad.
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Know the Pros and Cons of the Work Culture
Some work cultures are notoriously demanding and competitive, which can obviously lead to a lot of conflict.
In a sales environment where folks are competing for commissions and bonuses, it’s understandable that not everyone would be over-the-top friendly with each other. You should consider whether you might be misinterpreting behavior or overreacting to it.
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Be kind
Most conflict arises because people's egos are threatened. Our work is directly connected to our livelihood; if it’s threatened, we’re likely to lash out.
Try to be kind. Your kindness may very well help them realize and be a little ashamed of their own poor behavior, and the situation may not have to escalate to a point of even needing to confront it.
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Try Avoidance Tactics
- Move desks/cubicles. If you’ve got a cubicle neighbor who’s annoying you, move desks.
- Rearrange your schedule. Maybe you can shift your entire workday by an hour or two.
- Ask about working remotely, from home a couple days per week, or even simply in a nearby coffee shop.
- Change teams. This tactic is a little more extreme, as it could functionally mean changing your job
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Resolve the Conflict at the Source
Especially if your conflict with a coworker is personal in nature rather than related to the work itself, you may need to approach them directly with whatever your issue is.
In most cases, people aren’t malicious, and they’ll respect your direct approach.
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Treat Everyone with Respect
When you're building a team or company, you simply can't afford to lose great people. Treat them with respect and you're one step closer to keeping them on your team long-term.
Encourage Dissent
To do great things, you and your people need to consistently think outside the box. You need people who feel very comfortable disagreeing with you, trying new things, tossing out new ideas, and being okay with the fact that several of their ideas may turn out to be outright awful.
Make the Final Decision and Move On
If you are the manager, make final decisions. And to do so decisively: evaluate all the options in front of you, hear and absorb everyone's arguments, and ultimately make the final call, with arguments.
Even if you've expressed dissent as an employee, it'll benefit you to let your manager make their call and then focus on what's next, rather than staying preoccupied with past decisions.
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Awkward Work Scenarios
- Others taking credit for your work: speak up when presenting your joint ideas, else the boss will remember that the other was the one who did all the talking.
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Defining difficult people
We are social creatures who desire validation. We feel good when others share our belief system. But we feel dejected when others do not value our inputs, crush our ideas, or ignore what we have to...
Influences that define difficult people
We view the world and the people in it from a specific paradigm.
How we relate to someone is driven by our personality, expectations, background, and experience. Why we find someone difficult is then a very personal affair.
The TRICK framework that drives us
- T - Tagging. We are quick to label others as needy, manipulative, fake, arrogant, but explain away our own selfish acts and believe we are better than others.
- R - Righteous. When we find someone difficult, we start believing in the righteousness of how we feel, what we want, and why the other person deserves to be treated in a certain way. We reject them as a person, as well as their ideas.
- I - Intention. Once we know we are right, it's easy to assume they act out of bad intent.
- C - Confirmation. Once we think someone is difficult, every interaction serves as a validation of our beliefs. We will reject the evidence that contradicts our beliefs and seek information that strengthens our views.
- K - Keenness to fix others. Without changing our own behavior, we assume the other person is at fault and then desire to fix them.