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Your brain is the place that processes where you perceive, understand, remember, evaluate, desire, and respond to people.
How we perceive people are a mix of who they are and what we make of them in our brains.
We can likely change our brains to alter the ways in which we interact with others.
What you can do: Ask yourself, “Am I responding to this person, or am I mixing them up with someone from the past?”
Our emotions can be easily transferred to another person without us even knowing about this. This can also happen through large-scale social networks without in-person interactions or nonverbal cues. Our negative emotions such as anger are transferred more easily than positive ones.
What you can do: Be aware when your partner or colleague “makes” you angry. You may not actually be angry with them, but instead, mistaking their anger for yours when your brain reflects their feeling states.
It activates a mentalizing network in the brain, which differs from the emotional mirroring mechanisms of emotional empathy.
What you can do: When trying to resolve a conflict, reflect on what they are saying, and then neutrally paraphrase what they are saying or intending.
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The emotionally intelligent person knows how to stay calm during stressful situations.
They don't make impulsive decisions and understand that in times of conflict the goal is a resolution.
Emotionally intelligent people make sure they understand what is being said before responding.
They also pay attention to the nonverbal details of a conversation. This prevents misunderstandings, allows the listener to respond properly and shows respect for the person they are speaking to.