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“Perhaps the most important thing I learned in more than a thousand hours of interviews is that a life transition is a meaning-making exercise.”
Bruce Feiler
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They are the transitions and moments of disruption that offer unique opportunities for insight and wisdom.
The constant handling of big and small obstacles and setbacks, ironically, is what provides meaning to our lives. It is almost as if a Gateway or threshold has to be crossed, signifying the commitment of the journey from the ‘Hero’ who is able to successfully complete the ‘test of life’.
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Life transitions are the interesting chapters of our internal autobiographies, that provide us with the opportunity, tools and the reason to transform ourselves for the better.
We need to take small steps, or ‘microsteps’ to accept these transition moments, visualize and plan out the change, shed our old ways, unveil our transformation and the resulting new self, and to storify the entire transition.
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Sharing our transition, transformation and the obstacles we were able to overcome is a crucial step that heals.
A study in 1986 that persuaded people to write about their traumatic experiences revealed that many started crying during the writing process, but it worked like a catharsis, and led to their understanding themselves better and eventually getting healed.
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Transition, even the completely voluntary, can be a source of intense suffering because it involves adapting to new situations and changing your self-conception.
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Transition is also called liminality by psychologists - a state where you are neither in the state you left nor entirely in your new state. This in-between state creates an identity crisis, even in good transitions.
But they are really a predictable and integral part of life and happen regularly. Author Bruce Feiler interviewed hundreds of people and found that a major life change happens, on average, every 12 to 18 months. Even huge collective transitions such as the pandemic occur with regularity.
In hindsight, even the unwanted transitions are usually seen to have been a success.
Research shows that we tend to see past events as net positives over time. Even the most challenging transitions have some positive fruit. It may just take some time to see it.
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The water could be inducing a mildly meditative state of calm focus and gentle awareness.
When we're by the water, our brains are held in a state of mild attentiveness. In this state, the brain is interested and engaged in the water, taking in sensory input but not distracted by an overload of it.