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If You're Always Over-Scheduled, Find Out Why You Need to Slow Down
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Social Comparison Theory
Psychology Today describes social comparison theory as, "... determining our own social and personal self-worth based on how we stack up against others we perceive as somehow faring better or worse."
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What Others Think of Us
As a human being interacting with other human beings, we learn that how we show up in the world seems to matter.
If we have learned through our own social experiences that certain patterns of behavior, such as being extraordinarily busy and constantly on-the-go lead to being successful, connected and accepted by others, then we may find it appealing to engage in those behaviors.
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Busy vs. Productive
Merriam-Webster defines the word productive as, "Yielding results, benefits or profits." Essentially, it means that we have something to show for our hard work.
Being busy has to do with an amount of time, where productivity has more to do with our use of time.
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Impact on Emotional Health
When we glorify busyness we are likely to overextend ourselves with varied obligations, appointments, commitments, and responsibilities.
We end up taking on too much and can easily become flooded with negative emotion and even feeling isolated from others.
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Impact on Emotional Health
We end up making poor choices in all of these areas because we either don't have time to make careful choices or our emotional reservoir is dry due to exhaustion and our impulsive decision making takes over.
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Impact on Relationships
Demanding, overextended schedules leave no time for meaningful connection. In our efforts to preserve relationships, we may send a quick text or attempt to make plans.
Over time, especially when attempts to get together are disrupted by last-minute changes, people can feel devalued and be less willing to compromise and forgive. Patterns of broken connection lead to people feeling distant and uninterested in maintaining connections.
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Benefits of Making Change
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Examine the Source of Your Self-Worth
When we are excessively busy and glorify the idea of busyness, it is common to gain our sense of self-worth through tasks, performance, accolades, and recognition from others.
In exploring your core values you may find that spending time with family offers you a more meaningful sense of connection and value, and choose to set aside more time for that during the week or on the weekends.
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Challenge Your Narrative
Our narrative is what we tend to tell ourselves about who we are, our worth, our abilities, and our purpose, among other things.
Allow yourself the opportunity to challenge your old narrative that says you are not enough if you're doing all things all the time and update it with a healthier view of self, your worth and your purpose.
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Set Boundaries
As you learn to say no to excessive projects, tasks, and appointments, you may fear how people respond to you, especially if they are not used to hearing no from you.
Remember why you are taking better control over your time and keep the big picture in mind. Managing time and ridding yourself of excessive busyness is likely about connecting with friends and family, taking care of your physical health, and living with more peace and joy.
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SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:
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Chronic busyness
Being chronically busy can become a badge of honor. It makes you feel important.
It can also hurt your health. The long hours, stress and lack of relaxation time can result in insomnia...
Addicted to chronic busyness
- How would you describe your days? Would you call them hectic, chaotic, consumed in activities?
- How does being busy make you feel? Do you enjoy the excitement of going from one activity to another throughout the day?
- Do you take fewer vacation days than you’re given or even skip vacation time altogether (like Tom)?
- What activities do you normally do when you’re not at work? Do you rarely take time to sit, relax and read a book or magazine for fun?
- Are your friends and family weary of hearing how busy you are? Have you ever seen someone roll their eyes when you talk about how busy you are?
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Mindfulness at work
Means being consciously present in what you’re doing, while you’re doing it, as well as managing your mental and emotional state.
If you’re writing a report, mindfulness requires...
1 min/session
That’s the minimum required for a mini-mediation.
Just focus on your sense. You don’t need to close your eyes. You don’t even need to be sitting down.
Use Mindful Reminders
You can use interruptions as hooks to make you more mindful.
Every time your phone rings, take a mindful breath. Every time you hear the ping of a text message, pause to be mindful of your surroundings rather than immediately reacting by checking the message.
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Busyness is a myth
Although people feel much busier with work these days, the total time people are working – whether paid or otherwise – has not increased in Europe or North America in recent decades.
The illusion of busyness is caused by:
- Economies grow and time is more valuable: Any given hour is worth more, so we experience more pressure to squeeze in more work.
- The type of work we do has changed: We live in an “infinite world" - more incoming emails, meetings, things to read, more ideas to follow up – and digital technology means you can easily crank through them. The result, inevitably, is feeling overwhelmed.
Busyness has become the indicator of status
Though historically, the ultimate symbol of wealth, achievement and social superiority was the freedom not to work. Now we measure our worth not by the results we achieve, but by how much of our time we spend doing things.