11 Ways To Diffuse The Tension And Get Along With Difficult Colleagues

All people deserve to be treated professionally and with dignity. Remembering that being direct is not in contradiction with professionalism is imperative. Be direct, brave and respectful.

Set the stage by letting them know how much you value their partnership and that you want to collectively figure out a better way to work together. 

Bring specific work-related personal examples to the table and use simple, common words to describe how you felt about their behavior and actions. 

Then offer to brainstorm and work together on specific outcomes that will help reduce the toxicity.

When a difficult colleague is someone demanding control and influence, one effective tactic is to feed him or her a steady stream of status updates. Keeping these colleagues in the know helps them accommodate change more easily. 

When faced with someone who is challenging or toxic, the first step is to understand what is motivating the behavior. 

Only then can you apply some authentic understanding which can potentially turn a relationship and allow you to be the one person who breaks through.

If a person is always pushing in a different direction, they are making it difficult to reach your objectives and achieve your vision. 

You should follow the process, document all interactions and inspire the person to correct the behavior. If they do not correct their path, it's time to take action.

Focus on effective communication. 

Professionally communicate through various channels (email, phone, text, etc.) and see which channels produce the best result. Proceed with those.

Define your boundaries when unacceptable behavior transpires. 

For example, when intimidation occurs, say, "Are you trying to intimidate me? If so, please stop. It is not acceptable, and I will not engage further if it continues." This typically stops the toxic person because they do not want to own up to their behavior.

For difficult personalities, communication is central to meeting expectations and resolving conflict. Understanding what drives the individual and what is important will allow you to more effectively work together.

However, the behaviors of toxic individuals need to be addressed immediately, perhaps through human resources intervention.

Due process exists so that personnel-related liabilities do not go unaddressed. Leaders and HR should assess the severity of the behavior, and assuming it's still salvageable:

• give constructive feedback
• record and document these discussions
• monitor the team member's progress
• take the temperature from their colleagues and department heads
• evaluate what additional measures need to be taken.