<ol><li>Expression of regret</li><li>Explanation of what went wrong</li><li>Acknowledgment of responsibility</li><li>Declaration of repentance</li><li>Offer of repair</li><li>Request for forgiveness</li></ol>

6 Components of a good apology

Communication

The content of an apology is only half the battle. The delivery matters as well. If you mumble, avert eye contact, or stand in the corner with your arms crossed, it won’t matter what you say. No matter how much damage was done, a sincere apology restores faith.

Communicate Effectively And Sincerely

Saying you’re sorry is uncomfortable. It can be hard to admit your shortcomings and acknowledge your mistakes. But taking responsibility is the key to restoring trust.

The Courage To Apologize

<div>
The news is often filled with cringe-worthy apologies that make a leader or a politician lose even more favor. Saying things like, "I'm sorry if you were hurt," or "I am sorry people were offended," comes across as phony and insincere.
Such non-apology apologies do nothing to remedy the situation. In fact, they often make things worse.
Everyone messes up sometimes, though. And it can be hard to know how to recover from that mistake that you made.
Whether you lost your temper in a stressful meeting, or you made a joke that offended someone else, your next move is critical. Do you try to minimize the potential damage of your actions? Do you deny that you did anything wrong? Or do you apologize to those you hurt?
If you want to repair the relationship, an apology is definitely the way to go. But, not all apologies are created equal. New research sheds light on what you should include if you truly want to make amends.
The <a href="http://www.forbes.com/science/">Science</a> Behind An Effective Apology A study that will be published in the May issue of <a href="http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/ncmr.12073/abstract">Negotiation and Conflict Management Research</a> discovered six components of a good apology. While not all apologies had to include all six components in order to be effective, researchers found the more of these components that were included, the more likely the apology would be accepted:
1. Expression of regret
2. Explanation of what went wrong
3. Acknowledgement of responsibility
4. Declaration of repentance
5. Offer of repair
6. Request for forgiveness
If you're short on time, or you can't give all six components for one reason or another, researchers say the most important thing to do is accept responsibility. Acknowledge that you made a mistake and make it clear that you're at fault.
Don't apologize for someone else's feelings--take full responsibility for your behavior. So rather than say, "I'm sorry if you were hurt by my words," say, "I'm sorry I said hurtful things."
The second most important element is to offer a repair. While you might not necessarily be able to undo the damage, there are steps you can take to reduce the harm.
The next three components were tied for third in terms of effectiveness; expression of regret, explanation of what went wrong, and declaration of repentance.
The least effective part of an apology is asking for forgiveness. So if you must leave something out, skip that component.
Communicate Effectively And Sincerely Obviously, the content of an apology is only half the battle. The delivery matters as well. If you mumble, avert eye contact, or stand in the corner with your arms crossed, it won't matter what you say. Or, if you're still angry, your tone of voice will tell a different story from the words coming out of your mouth.
One <a href="http://www.leannetenbrinke.com/uploads/2/1/0/4/21049652/ten_brinke_adams_2015.pdf">study</a> found that as long as CEOs looked sad when they apologized, their listeners wanted to make amends. But, if the CEO looked happy or neutral, the apology actually exacerbated their negative feelings.
In fact, <a href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.forbes.com%2Fsites%2Famymorin%2F2016%2F04%2F14%2Fstudy-reveals-the-6-key-components-of-an-effective-apology%2F&amp;text=Stock%20prices%20tend%20to%20rise%20after%20an%20apology%20is%20delivered%20by%20a%20leader%20who%20looks%20sad.%20%40AmyMorinLCSW">stock prices tend to rise after an apology is delivered by a leader who looks sad.</a> No matter how much damage was done, a sincere apology restores faith.
That's why it's important to deliver an apology face-to-face whenever you can. An "I'm sorry" over email--or text message--will likely fall short. The recipient wants to see and hear that you're authentic in your regret.
The Courage To Apologize Saying you're sorry is uncomfortable. It can be hard to admit your shortcomings and acknowledge your mistakes. But taking responsibility is the key to restoring faith.
So the next time you mess up, own it. Include the six elements of an effective apology, and look sad when you deliver your message.
Amy Morin is a psychotherapist, speaker, and the author of the USA Today bestselling book <a href="http://www.amymorinlcsw.com/book/">13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do</a>. </div>

The news is often filled with cringe-worthy apologies that make a leader or a politician lose even more favor. Saying things like, "I'm sorry if you were hurt," or "I am sorry people were offended," comes across as phony and insincere. Such non-apology apologies do nothing to remedy the situation.

The news is often filled with cringe-worthy apologies that make a leader or a politician lose even more favor. Saying things like, "I'm sorry if you were hurt," or "I am sorry people were offended," comes across as phony and insincere. Such non-apology apologies do nothing to remedy the situation. In fact, they often make things worse. Everyone messes up sometimes, though. And it can be hard to know how to recover from that mistake that you made.

Whether you lost your temper in a stressful meeting, or you made a joke that offended someone else, your next move is critical. Do you try to minimize the potential damage of your actions? Do you deny that you did anything wrong? Or do you apologize to those you hurt? If you want to repair the relationship, an apology is definitely the way to go. But, not all apologies are created equal. New research sheds light on what you should include if you truly want to make amends. A study that will be published in the May issue of <a href="http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/ncmr.12073/abstract">Negotiation and Conflict Management Research </a> discovered six components of a good apology. While not all apologies had to include all six components in order to be effective, researchers found the more of these components that were included, the more likely the apology would be accepted:

1. Expression of regret 2. Explanation of what went wrong 3. Acknowledgement of responsibility 4. Declaration of repentance 5. Offer of repair 6. Request for forgiveness If you're short on time, or you can't give all six components for one reason or another, researchers say the most important thing to do is accept responsibility. Acknowledge that you made a mistake and make it clear that you're at fault. Don't apologize for someone else's feelings--take full responsibility for your behavior. So rather than say, "I'm sorry if you were hurt by my words," say, "I'm sorry I said hurtful things."

The second most important element is to offer a repair. While you might not necessarily be able to undo the damage, there are steps you can take to reduce the harm. The next three components were tied for third in terms of effectiveness; expression of regret, explanation of what went wrong, and declaration of repentance. The least effective part of an apology is asking for forgiveness. So if you must leave something out, skip that component.

Obviously, the content of an apology is only half the battle. The delivery matters as well. If you mumble, avert eye contact, or stand in the corner with your arms crossed, it won't matter what you say. Or, if you're still angry, your tone of voice will tell a different story from the words coming out of your mouth.

One <a href="http://www.leannetenbrinke.com/uploads/2/1/0/4/21049652/ten_brinke_adams_2015.pdf">study </a>found that as long as CEOs looked sad when they apologized, their listeners wanted to make amends. But, if the CEO looked happy or neutral, the apology actually exacerbated their negative feelings. In fact, <a href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.forbes.com%2Fsites%2Famymorin%2F2016%2F04%2F14%2Fstudy-reveals-the-6-key-components-of-an-effective-apology%2F&amp;text=Stock%20prices%20tend%20to%20rise%20after%20an%20apology%20is%20delivered%20by%20a%20leader%20who%20looks%20sad.%20%40AmyMorinLCSW">stock prices tend to rise after an apology is delivered by a leader who looks sad. </a>No matter how much damage was done, a sincere apology restores faith. That's why it's important to deliver an apology face-to-face whenever you can. An "I'm sorry" over email--or text message--will likely fall short. The recipient wants to see and hear that you're authentic in your regret.

Saying you're sorry is uncomfortable. It can be hard to admit your shortcomings and acknowledge your mistakes. But taking responsibility is the key to restoring faith. So the next time you mess up, own it. Include the six elements of an effective apology, and look sad when you deliver your message. Amy Morin is a psychotherapist, speaker, and the author of the USA Today bestselling book <a href="http://www.amymorinlcsw.com/book/">13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do </a>.

Bite‑sized knowledge
to upgrade
your career

Study Reveals The 6 Key Components Of An Effective Apology

6 Components of a good apology

Communicate Effectively And Sincerely

The Courage To Apologize

The art of the mindful apology

The Lost Art Of Apologizing (And How To Do It Right Every Time)

Why Is It So Hard to Apologize? - Mindful

Bite‑sized knowledgeto upgradeyour career

Study Reveals The 6 Key Components Of An Effective Apology

6 Components of a good apology

Communicate Effectively And Sincerely

The Courage To Apologize

The art of the mindful apology

The Lost Art Of Apologizing (And How To Do It Right Every Time)

Why Is It So Hard to Apologize? - Mindful

Bite‑sized knowledge
to upgrade
your career