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Instead of viewing someone’s bad mood as a problem to be fixed, if your perspective slightly and try to see it as a puzzle.
When you shift from problem-thinking to puzzle-thinking, your mindset becomes driven by curiosity rather than morality. And it’s easier to be validating, understanding, and empathetic, which is what most people experiencing strong, painful emotions really need.
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Rather than putting yourself in someone else’s shoes, try to remember a time when you wore the same shoe.
Try to recall a time when you struggled in a similar way and with a similar set of difficult emotions and moods. It's a powerful way to appreciate someone else struggle.
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Most people struggling emotionally don’t want someone to fix their pain, they went to feel understood.
Use Reflective listening. It means that when someone tells you something, you simply reflect back to them what they said, either literally or with your own slight spin on it.
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One of the hardest things about other people’s bad moods is the emotions they tend to stir up in us.
The trouble is, once we’re deep into a spiral of our own negative emotion, it’s hard to have enough mental and emotional bandwidth to navigate our own mood and that of someone else. This is why we often react to other people’s bad moods in a way that ultimately isn’t helpful to them, us, or the relationship.
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You can’t directly control how someone feels, thus you’re not responsible for it.
A common pitfall people make when trying to deal effectively with other people’s bad moods is to overextend their responsibility to that person to include how they feel.
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Unchecked self-talk can easily turn into self-delusion. The stories we create almost always make you look like the good guy and cannot be termed as objective.
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The two worst things in a relationship are:
If people are ill-e...
Offering to share with your partner is intimate. Being bullied into sharing is undercutting the very intimacy we think we're building.
Other people's emotions are theirs, not ours. Hearing them share their feelings is a privilege, not a right.
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As we associate sadness with a negative feeling, we tend to try to run away from it.
However, one way to get rid of such fears like being sad is by actually embracing our negative emot...
You might feel sadness from time to time, which actually makes you want to run away from this mood and focus on something happier.
Nevertheless, running has never been a solution and it will certainly not start being one in this specific case, as embracing your sadness is a surer way to control and get rid of it on a long term.
In order to better understand and control your sadness, check out the below steps that lead to a so-called 'scheduled sadness' that will eventually help you reach your goal: