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5 Habits Of Popular People
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Focus on Others
The biggest barrier shy people have to overcome is that they have this tremendous sense of self-focus. Popular people focus on others instead of obsessing about themselves.
Popular people are genuinely interested in other people, actively learn more about them, and look for connections.
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The Art of a Good Conversation
Popular people have worked at and mastered this.
- The first step is having an opening line. The simpler the better. For example, comment on the environment.
- The next step is introducing yourself. Include enough information that the other person can ask questions.
- The third step involves conversation exploration, where the pair or group goes from introductions to a topic.
- Step four is topic expansion, building on the topic at hand by focusing on what the other person is saying.
- The final step is to end the conversation by expressing gratitude for the connection.
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Take Control of Your Social Life
Popular people take charge of making dates and sending out invitations. These interactions allow them to continue to work on their social skills. Shy people wait to be asked out.
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Good Social Graces
Popular people are aware of what’s going on around them and appear approachable. They’re interested in others and are good listeners. They also introduce people to each other by sharing details that generate conversations.
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Practice Acts of Kindness
Popular people are often kind people. The notice you and might pay you a compliment. They'll ask if you need anything and help you.
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Shyness
If the idea of mingling at a party or giving a presentation in front of people make you feel sick, you are not alone.
About 30% of shyness is because of genetics. The rest comes abo...
Shyness: Genes and environment
The environment has a large effect on personality and mental health. However, genetics may drive us to extract aspects of the environment that match our actual predispositions.
Genes and the environment work together as a dynamic system. Because of that, you can always change it through psychological therapies that can teach you techniques to cope.
Shyness is not bad
Shyness in itself is quite common and normal, but it can become a problem if it develops into social anxiety where you avoid things that need to be done. You might not be able to talk to people at work or have difficulties socializing.
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Rejection is normal
It's impossible to please everyone. And rejection is a way to figure out who’s compatible with whom: getting axed from a social group gives you space to find folks that are a little ...
It’s okay to feel pain
When we get rejected, our brains register an emotional chemical response so strong, it can physically hurt.
We go through almost the same stages as if we were grieving (self-blame, trying to win back our rejecter because we hate being disliked, and feeling like a failure). These feelings are healthy and normal, so long as you don’t end up dwelling on them.
It’s not (totally) your fault
Rejection is personal, and it’s easy to start questioning your self-worth when someone makes it clear they don’t like you.
But for the most part, being disliked is a matter of mutual compatibility. Keep in mind that likability has a lot to do with what you bring to someone else’s table, whether or not you realize it.
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Introverts
Introverts tend to be reflective and have close relationships.
But it can be hard to be open and let strangers into your life. Small talk doesn’t come easy, and it’s hard work to estab...
How introverts can be more social
- Prepare. Have questions ready to ask new people,such as “How did you get started in your career?" or “What are you passionate about?”
- Find a conference buddy to bring with to your next networking event.
- Be that person. Many feel the same as you do. Forget about yourself and reach out.
- Be present. Once you do start a conversation, ask lots of questions and practice your listening skills.
- So try to relax, smile, and look as warm and casual as you can.
- Challenge yourself to step out of your comfort zone just a little bit.