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Kind Communication Is Easier Than You THINK - Mindful

https://www.mindful.org/kind-communication-is-easier-than-you-think/

mindful.org

Kind Communication Is Easier Than You THINK - Mindful
Chris Willard shares a few useful mnemonics that help us stay on course with speaking and communicating kindly and how mindfulness can help.

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Communicating Mindfully

Communicating Mindfully

We all may have committed the mistake of speaking something that we regret, and wish our words were mindful and compassionate.

Mindful speaking is effective as well as the ethical choice, causing less harm to others, both offline and in a digital space.

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THINK Before You Speak

The popular mnemonic acronym THINK provides us with simple guidelines to consider before we graciously proceed to put our foot in our mouths:

  1. Is there Truth in what I speak?
  2. Is it Helpful to anyone?
  3. What are the Intentions and Impact of me making this statement?
  4. Is it Necessary?
  5. Is it Kind?

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Think Before You Speak: Truth

We live in a world of confirmation bias and cognitive dissonance, where our belief patterns bend reality without our realizing it. Each one of us may have a different version of the truth, that may not be what others believe. One has to reflect within and move beyond ego, guilt and self-identity.

Speaking the truth isn’t just ‘not lying’ but speaking truth to power, making our words a revolutionary act in this age of falsehood.

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Think Before You Speak: Being Helpful

  • Gossip, even if it is true, does not help, and is often harmful to us and others.
  • Bragging about oneself annoys and irritates others.
  • Feedback to others, if not constructive, creates a bad taste in the mouth of those receiving it.
  • It isn’t really helpful to point out that the traffic is bad or that the weather is too hot.

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Think Before You Speak: Intention And Impact

Who said it often has more weight in society than what is being said. Even if the content of what you say is perfectly right, sometimes you are not the right person to say it.

We are sometimes not the right person to say certain things in certain scenarios, like a useless debate at the dinner table, that could have been avoided by a little self-reflection and awareness.

One has to weigh-in the intention of the speech and its impact.

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Think Before You Speak: Necessity

When we are about to say something, we need to ask ourselves what we want to say is actually necessary or not, and what if silence is a better option here, which is true in many cases.

We can simply WAIT (Why Am I Talking?) and practice self-restraint, or simply speak through body language.

Sometimes we blurt out stuff to feel better or when silence feels awkward, but in reality silence and deep pauses are the soil for insights and new ideas to sprout.

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Think Before You Speak: Kind

If you have to say something, say it kindly. While it is easier to be angry and negative, kindness during communication, is a big virtue, and harsh words or a rude tone do collateral damage even if we are being righteous. 


Pay attention to how you say the things you say, and if you don’t speak nicely, it is better to be silent.

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Final Thoughts: Things To Ask Yourself

Final Thoughts: Things To Ask Yourself
  1. How would you apply the THINK guidelines to your personal and work life?
  2. What part stands out and defines your existing behaviour?
  3. Can you practice speaking a bit slowly and then observe how the other person is responding?
  4. Do you generally talk about positive stuff or negative aspects of life?

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SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:

The Art of Communication

Talking to another person mindfully should be because you're wanting to "connect" with whomever you're speaking with from a place that is present, kind and respectful.

We have the oppo...

Bring out the "best of yourself"

Make a conscious effort to bring out the best in someone else through your communication.

This makes communicating less "me-centric," which is talking to hear yourself talk, or talking "at" someone rather than "with" them, or being more interested in wanting to "capture" their attention for some kind of pay off. 

Painting with words

Consider communication as an empty canvas to paint with words, think of all of the wonderful and beautiful things you can say to another person.

It's helpful to know that what we say to someone else, might not be what we would want said to us.

Mindfulness In Sleep

Mindfulness In Sleep

Sleep heals our mind and body, but in today’s fast-paced and distracted world, many people are sleep deprived, wreaking havoc on their attention spans, mood and brain functioning. ...

Mindfulness: Do’s And Don’ts

  1. Daily meditation: Having a daily meditation practice, be it mindfulness, a mental body scan or even chanting is crucial.
  2. Away from the bed: If you are unable to sleep, try to change your place, as the bed has to be associated with sleep.
  3. Sleep apps don’t work: Sleep apps are not to be relied on for sleeping, and one should cultivate our own body to be able to sleep without any aid like sleep apps or even sleeping pills.
  4. Don’t try too hard: Sleeping is an effortless effort, and your mind and body has to be conducive for it to happen. Forced sleep is the primary mistake many insomniacs make. Sleep happens on it’s own if you allow it.

Three Ways To Wind Down

  1. Eliminate distractions, like your smartphones or tablets, that hinder sleep by their radiation, constant notifications and the blue light they emit.
  2. Don’t pressure yourself to sleep and instead focus on calming your mind and practicing mindfulness and relaxed breathing.
  3. Mental body scan is an effective mindfulness meditation that promotes sleep, where one notices one’s breathing and various bodily sensations, while mentally scanning one’s body parts.

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Not backed up by science

Not backed up by science

While popular, researchers say there is a serious lack of evidence to back up mindfulness apps, even though they are increasingly perceived as proven treatments for mental health. 

Seeking scientific validation

A handful of studies have been published on the efficacy of mindfulness apps, thanks in part to Headspace, one of the most popular apps in the field. In hopes of getting its app scientifically validated, the organization has partnered on more than 60 studies with 35 academic institutions. In the meantime, in lieu of research proving that apps work, marketers tend to draw misleading, but attractive claims.

The paradox of mindfulness apps

Mindfulness disrupts unhelpful habits. If you get distracted easily or have addictions, mindfulness helps curb these habits. But, in contrast, apps become popular and profitable by getting users lightly addicted to repetitive use. So, can an app really treat addiction, or is it inherently part of the problem? As of now, we don’t know the answer to that question.