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How to move on after failure — and rebuild your confidence
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Failure is inevitable
Years of planning and hard work are not enough to protect you from failure. A presentation can fail, a start-up can have a bumpy launch, a writer gets blocked. This disappointment can often prevent you from trying again.
However, we can take a cue from the scientific method, which is built on the idea of proving a hypothesis wrong. Discovery is finding things that don't work, and failure is inevitable when pushing the limits.
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Be mindful of burnout
Set strict limits and boundaries on time spent on it. The more time you're able to put in a project, the more you can build your confidence.
Demanding projects are often a combination of a marathon and a sprint - many intense deadlines and tasks that lead towards accomplishing a larger goal. Take the time to celebrate the sprints after they're done.
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Believe in the possibility of future success
The amount of effort you put into something often matches how you feel about its failure. The more significant it is, the more disappointed you'll feel when it doesn't work out.
As you get more distance between yourself and your failure, the more amazed you'll be at your own resilience. Getting past disappointment is often as simple as looking up and believing something new is possible.
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Use your to-do list to boost your confidence
To build confidence for the big goals, you first need to focus on the smaller goals - the actions you take every day. What is the one thing you want to do the least? That is often the thing you're unsure about or worried that you might fail at.
Your confidence gets built when you try something new that's scary, and you succeed. Then you do it again and again.
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Separate your value from your work
One reaction of failing is to think failure defines your overall worth. If no one buys my idea, then my idea and I must not be very good.
That thinking causes you to miss out on some valuable feedback. You should be able to ask afterwards: "What did I learn from this?" You learn far more from your mistakes.
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Develop a mutual support group
The concept of Shine Theory is helping someone be their best self and relying on their help to do the same for you. The more you shine, the more you light up everyone around you. It's about learning how someone else's success doesn't take away your own.
Seek out and cultivate friendships with capable or willing people to support you to get you through moments of self-doubt or failure.
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No one cares about your failures as much as you do
Everyone is the hero of their own story. That means that people are not paying as close attention to your failures as you are.
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Why Interviewers Ask It
This introductory question serves as an icebreaker to lend an easy flow to the conversation. It helps the recruiter to get to know you in terms of hard and soft skills.
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How to build your response
- Present: Talk a little bit about what your current role is, the scope of it, and possibly a recent achievement.
- Past: Tell the interviewer how you got there and/or mention a past experience that’s relevant to the job and company you’re applying for.
- Future: Continue with what you’re looking to do next and why you’re interested in this job.
Tailor Your Answer
Interviewers want to know how your answer about yourself is relevant to the position and company you’re applying for.
This is an opportunity to articulate why you’re interested and how your objective fulfills their goals. In order to do that, spend some time researching the company. If your answers resonate with them, it shows that you really understand the role.
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Self Esteem Vs Self-Worth
Many of us have our growing up years filled with experiences that destroy our self-worth. Slowly we establish in our minds that we are not good enough.
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Society Primes Us To Feel Unworthy
- Ads on TV tell us what we need to spend money on to become acceptable, successful or lovable.
- Our educational system measures us using standard grades and test-scores, destroying our individuality.
- Parents love our accomplishments and subtly want us to push ourselves towards greater success at the cost of our freedom of personal choice.
- Social media has highly effective metrics to measure our worthiness, like the number of followers or likes.
When we fail to do what society wants us to do, we lose approval and experience unworthiness.
Imagine A Beautiful World
Begin to feel worthy by:
- Forgiving yourself for your past mistakes, acknowledging and accepting our flaws and deeds.
- Accept how you look, your laugh, your smile, your unique way of looking at the world. That’s what makes you special.
- Embrace your quirks and work towards enhancing your worldview.
- Do not criticise yourself when you experience emotional pain. Be kind to yourself.
- Connect with people who are supportive and healing.
- Have the courage to free yourself from society's rules and work towards being you.