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Regret can seriously damage your mental health – here's how to leave it behind

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/jun/27/regret-can-seriously-damage-your-mental-health-heres-how-to-leave-it-behind

theguardian.com

Regret can seriously damage your mental health – here's how to leave it behind
The emotion can be all-consuming and destructive, as therapists see only too often. But learning from your mistakes has the power to improve the future

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Regret: The Unforgiven

Regret: The Unforgiven

All negative emotions have their root in fear. Jealousy, anger, envy, guilt and regret are branches of fear only.

The emotion of regret, especially self-regret, can be all-consuming to our minds and destructive to our wellbeing, having the ability to destroy lives. When a person cannot forgive himself, his life is at a standstill.

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Regret As An Excuse

Regret is a common emotional issue during therapy, and some use it as a safe haven, to protect oneself from the pressure and risks of living a complete life.

Example: People can make an excuse out of a past, regretful event to stay away from love and marriage.

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Regret As A Meaningful Emotion

Meaningful regret is when one develops a certain self-awareness, which can be helpful in pinpointing the emotion, and see if it is pointing towards oneself (self-regret) or is a regret towards others.

If the regret is focused on others, it can be a breakthrough which can help the person come out of the negative emotion eventually.

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How To Use Regret In Your Favor

  1. Find acceptance in the fact that pain, loss and disappointment do not have solutions, and are to be experienced and be engaged with.
  2. Understand that ife is full of ups and downs.
  3. Learn what is required from the event or circumstance, instead of closing yourself.
  4. Do what you can to repair the damaged souls or broken hearts of others.
  5. Support others and get their support.
  6. Allow yourself to be wrong.

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The Message From The Soul

Some people are proud of the fact that they don’t feel regretful. But in reality, this emotion is a rite of passage, which eventually leads to remorse and repair, and that is where maximum self-growth is.

Regret is a message from the soul that needs to be catered to, and which can lead to recovery.

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The disease of "What if"

It’s human nature to linger on feelings of regret. We look back and think that missed opportunities(real or not) could have set us on a different, possibly more rewarding path. Unchecked, th...

Turn regret into motivation

  • Acknowledge how you cope with regret: ignoring it makes it more present
  • Stop the regrets spiral, until you are ready to face the situation with more clarity
  • Revisit the story and identify practical lessons you can learn from it
  • Treat yourself like your ideal mentor would
  • Ask yourself why you feel regret and work backward to identify the values that are tied up in your feelings
  • The cure for anticipating regret isn’t feeling lousy or overthinking, but pursuing solutions, using the wisdom gained through self-reflection.

Turn regret into motivation

  1. Acknowledge how you cope with regret: ignoring it makes it more present;
  2. Stop the regrets spiral, until you are ready to face the situation with more clarity;
  3. Revisit the story and identify practical lessons you can learn from it;
  4. Ask yourself why you feel regret and work backward to identify the values that are tied up in your feelings;
  5. The cure for anticipating regret isn’t feeling lousy or overthinking, but pursuing solutions, using the wisdom gained through self-reflection.

Lockdown Anxiety and Technology

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  • In these times of a looming unknown future, existential fear and separation from friends and family, millions ...

Get Everything Online

Online mental health therapies may make people stick to it longer, but it’s long-term benefits are still questionable, according to a study.

This mandatory Quarantine mode, which can last for weeks or months, is making us more dependent on anything and everything online, with smartphones being the potential gateway to online mental health care.

Stories create “sticky” memories

...by attaching emotions to things that happen. That means those who can create and share good stories have a powerful advantage over others.

Facts and figures and all the rational thi...

Start with a message

First, settle on your ultimate message; then you can figure out the best way to illustrate it.

Every storytelling exercise should begin by asking: Who is my audience and what is the message I want to share with them? 

Each decision about your story should flow from those questions. 

Use personal experiences

The best storytellers look to their own memories and life experiences for ways to illustrate their message. 

Think of a moment in which your own failures led to success in your career or a lesson that a parent or mentor imparted.

There may be a tendency not to want to share personal details at work, but anecdotes that illustrate struggle, failure, and barriers overcome are what make leaders appear authentic and accessible.

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