“Wanting positive experience is a negative experience; accepting negative experience is a positive experience.“ – Mark MansonIt’s the idea that the more you pursue feeling better all the time, the less satisfied you become, as pursuing something only reinforces the fact that you lack it in the first place.

Sometimes it’s best to give things some space.

The more you desperately want to be rich, the more poor and unworthy you feel, regardless of how much money you actually make.

Money

The more you desperately want to be sexy and desired, the uglier you come to see yourself, regardless of your actual physical appearance.

Physical Appearance 

The more you desperately want to be happy and loved, the lonelier and more afraid you become, regardless of those who surround you.

Contentment

The more you want to be spiritually enlightened, the more self-centered and shallow you become in trying to get there.

Spiritual Well-being

It seems to me, that the less I care about something, the better I am at it. When I don’t care if the beautiful woman is into me, I’m more authentic and conversations are effortless. When I have enough work, I keep getting offered more work. When I’m not concerned about messing up during a musical performance and just let it rip, I play better than I thought possible.

Less is more

The most important thing we can give any situation is space, room to breath. In addition to lowering stress and expectations, it also gives our minds some freedom.

✨✨✨

<h4>Become a Premium Member</h4>We have pioneered the largest worldwide conversation about what it means to be a good man in the 21st century.Your support of our work is inspiring and invaluable.<header dir="ltr"><h1 dir="ltr">The Backwards Law</h1>
<h2 dir="ltr">Sometimes it’s best to give things some space. </h2></header><img width="600" height="352" src="https://goodmenproject.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/295831FD-278D-4FBC-876A-BE4268002F1F.jpeg" alt="" srcset="https://goodmenproject.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/295831FD-278D-4FBC-876A-BE4268002F1F.jpeg 600w, https://goodmenproject.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/295831FD-278D-4FBC-876A-BE4268002F1F-300x176.jpeg 300w">“Wanting positive experience is a negative experience; accepting negative experience is a positive experience.“ – Mark MansonI first time I encountered the phrase “The Backwards Law,” was during an Alan Watts recording.It’s the idea that the more you pursue feeling better all the time, the less satisfied you become, as pursuing something only reinforces the fact that you lack it in the first place.In his book, The Subtle Art If Not Giving A Fuck, Mark Manson writes:<BLOCKQUOTE>The more you desperately want to be rich, the more poor and unworthy you feel, regardless of how much money you actually make. The more you desperately want to be sexy and desired, the uglier you come to see yourself, regardless of your actual physical appearance. The more you desperately want to be happy and loved, the lonelier and more afraid you become, regardless of those who surround you. The more you want to be spiritually enlightened, the more self-centered and shallow you become in trying to get there.</BLOCKQUOTE>It seems to me, that the less I care about something, the better I am at it. When I don’t care if the beautiful woman is into me, I’m more authentic and conversations are effortless. When I have enough work, I keep getting offered more work. When I’m not concerned about messing up during a musical performance and just let it rip, I play better than I thought possible.Once I really wanted a summer job playing drums for a show at a theme park. The audition went well. Really well, actually.I was nervous and excited. Hopeful and attached. Basically obsessed.But as the weeks wore on and I didn’t hear from the director, I figured I didn’t get the job. About three days after the date that they said I would be contacted if I’d gotten the job, I gave up.I wasn’t really sad by then. Mostly I was glad to be done with the stress of waiting.<img src="https://live.sekindo.com/content/video/splayer/assets/placeHolder.png" alt="Primis Player Placeholder" width="347" height="347"><video playsinline="" crossorigin="anonymous" style="width: 100%; height: 100%;"></video><video width="0" height="0" playsinline="" autoplay="" style="top: 0px; background-color: black; z-index: -1; position: absolute; left: 0px;"></video><div dir="ltr">Don’t like ads? <a href="https://goodmenproject.com/registration/" dir="ltr">Become a supporter</a> and enjoy The Good Men Project ad free</div>Two days after that, the phone rang and I was offered the job.And then I made them wait three days while I thought it over. Because after all of that, I wasn’t sure that I&nbsp;still I wanted to do it.This sort of thing has happened plenty of times. When I’ve given up on things, they’ve arrived!When I give up on someone getting back to me, they text. When I leave extra travel time to get somewhere, there is zero traffic and I’m early. When I think she’s just being fun and cordial, she gives me her phone number.The most important thing we can give any situation is space, room to breath. In addition to lowering stress and expectations, it also gives our minds some freedom.Maybe we’ll reframe our desires. Maybe we’ll see other possibilities that we wouldn’t have seen living in such a constricted and tense state.Oh, and I took that summer job at the theme park.And it was one of the best summers of my life. 
—<center>◊♦◊</center><div dir="ltr">The Good Men Project is different from most media companies. We are a “participatory media company”—which means we don’t just have content you read and share and comment on but it means we have multiple ways you can actively be a part of the conversation. As you become a deeper part of the conversation—The Conversation No One Else is Having—you will learn all of the ways we support our Writers’ Community—community FB groups, weekly conference calls, classes in writing, editing platform building and How to Create Social Change.</div>◊♦◊Here are more ways to become a part of The Good Men Project&nbsp;community:Request to join our&nbsp;<a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/GoodMenProjectWriters/" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" dir="ltr">private Facebook Group for Writers</a>—it’s like our virtual newsroom where you connect with editors and other writers about issues and ideas.<a href="https://goodmenproject.com/registration/?discount=lbkr" rel="noopener noreferrer" dir="ltr">Click here to become a Premium Member</a>&nbsp;of The Good Men Project&nbsp;Community.&nbsp;Have access to these benefits:<OL><LI>Get &nbsp;access to an exclusive “Members Only” Group on Facebook</LI><LI>Join our Social Interest Groups—weekly calls about topics of interest in today’s world</LI><LI>View the website with&nbsp;no ads</LI><LI>Get free access to classes, workshops, and exclusive events</LI><LI>Be invited to an exclusive weekly “Call with the Publisher” with other Premium Members</LI><LI>Commenting badge.</LI></OL>Are you stuck on what to write?&nbsp;Sign up for our&nbsp;<a href="https://goodmenproject.leadpages.co/writers-prompt-sign-up/" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" dir="ltr">Writing Prompts</a>&nbsp;emails, you’ll get ideas directly from our editors every Monday and Thursday. If you already have a final draft, then click below to send your post through our submission system.If you are already working with an editor at GMP, please be sure to name that person. If you are not currently working with a GMP editor, one will be assigned to you.◊♦◊<h3 dir="ltr">Are you a first-time contributor to The Good Men Project? <a href="https://goodmenproject.submittable.com/submit" dir="ltr">Submit here</a>.</h3><h3 dir="ltr">Have you contributed before and have a Submittable account? <a href="https://bit.ly/QuickSubmitGMP" dir="ltr">Use our Quick Submit link here</a>.</h3><h3 dir="ltr">Do you have previously published work that you would like to syndicate on The Good Men Project? <a href="https://goodmenproject.submittable.com/submit/142039/permission-to-syndicate-on-gmp" dir="ltr">Click here.</a></h3>* Photo by James Gummer

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

We have pioneered the largest worldwide conversation about what it means to be a good man in the 21st century.

Your support of our work is inspiring and invaluable.

“Wanting positive experience is a negative experience; accepting negative experience is a positive experience.“ – Mark Manson

I first time I encountered the phrase “The Backwards Law,” was during an Alan Watts recording.

It’s the idea that the more you pursue feeling better all the time, the less satisfied you become, as pursuing something only reinforces the fact that you lack it in the first place.

In his book, The Subtle Art If Not Giving A Fuck , Mark Manson writes:

The more you desperately want to be rich, the more poor and unworthy you feel, regardless of how much money you actually make. The more you desperately want to be sexy and desired, the uglier you come to see yourself, regardless of your actual physical appearance. The more you desperately want to be happy and loved, the lonelier and more afraid you become, regardless of those who surround you. The more you want to be spiritually enlightened, the more self-centered and shallow you become in trying to get there.

It seems to me, that the less I care about something, the better I am at it. When I don’t care if the beautiful woman is into me, I’m more authentic and conversations are effortless. When I have enough work, I keep getting offered more work. When I’m not concerned about messing up during a musical performance and just let it rip, I play better than I thought possible.

Once I really wanted a summer job playing drums for a show at a theme park. The audition went well. Really well, actually.

I was nervous and excited. Hopeful and attached. Basically obsessed.

But as the weeks wore on and I didn’t hear from the director, I figured I didn’t get the job. About three days after the date that they said I would be contacted if I’d gotten the job, I gave up.

I wasn’t really sad by then. Mostly I was glad to be done with the stress of waiting.

Two days after that, the phone rang and I was offered the job.

And then I made them wait three days while I thought it over. Because after all of that, I wasn’t sure that I still I wanted to do it.

This sort of thing has happened plenty of times. When I’ve given up on things, they’ve arrived!

When I give up on someone getting back to me, they text. When I leave extra travel time to get somewhere, there is zero traffic and I’m early. When I think she’s just being fun and cordial, she gives me her phone number.

The most important thing we can give any situation is space, room to breath. In addition to lowering stress and expectations, it also gives our minds some freedom.

Maybe we’ll reframe our desires. Maybe we’ll see other possibilities that we wouldn’t have seen living in such a constricted and tense state.

Oh, and I took that summer job at the theme park.

And it was one of the best summers of my life. —

The Conversation No One Else is Having—

Here are more ways to become a part of The Good Men Project community:

Request to join our <a dir="ltr" href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/GoodMenProjectWriters/" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer">private Facebook Group for Writers </a> —it’s like our virtual newsroom where you connect with editors and other writers about issues and ideas.

<a dir="ltr" href="https://goodmenproject.com/registration/?discount=lbkr" rel="noopener noreferrer">Click here to become a Premium Member </a> of The Good Men Project Community.  Have access to these benefits:

<ol><li>Get  access to an exclusive “Members Only” Group on Facebook </li><li>Join our Social Interest Groups—weekly calls about topics of interest in today’s world </li><li>View the website with no ads </li><li>Get free access to classes, workshops, and exclusive events </li><li>Be invited to an exclusive weekly “Call with the Publisher” with other Premium Members </li><li>Commenting badge. </li> </ol>

Are you stuck on what to write? Sign up for our <a dir="ltr" href="https://goodmenproject.leadpages.co/writers-prompt-sign-up/" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer">Writing Prompts </a> emails , you’ll get ideas directly from our editors every Monday and Thursday. If you already have a final draft, then click below to send your post through our submission system.

If you are already working with an editor at GMP, please be sure to name that person. If you are not currently working with a GMP editor, one will be assigned to you.

Are you a first-time contributor to The Good Men Project?  Submit here  .

Have you contributed before and have a Submittable account?  Use our Quick Submit link here  .

Do you have previously published work that you would like to syndicate on The Good Men Project?  Click here.

The Backwards Law - The Good Men Project

Sometimes it’s best to give things some space.

Money

Physical Appearance

Contentment

Spiritual Well-being

Less is more

✨✨✨

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