Why We Fight at Work - Deepstash
Conflict At Work

Having a debate with your boss or your colleague is normal or a disagreement. However, fighting is not.

There are several forms of conflict that may manifest as:

  • People who pretend that there is no problem when clearly there is;
  • People who are outright aggressive and competitive; and
  • People who are knee-deep passively-aggressive.


  1. Personal insecurity. We work with a diverse group of people and many of their characteristics may leave us feeling insecure. When insecurity gets triggered we behave in ways that we are not proud of.
  2. The desire for more power and control. People who have this goal want to position themselves above others and don't really share goals or credit.
  3. Habitual victimhood. These people often place themselves in a position where they can be the victims so that they won't be held accountable.



  1. Admit that conflict at work is real and can get pervasive. There's no use denying this because denial never makes the problem go away.
  2. Cultivate empathy and compassion for others. Try to understand their drive, their passion, or the reason behind why they're acting in such a way. Don't let your biases get in the way.
  3. Attend first to yourself, your feelings or emotions, and deal with the conflict with self-awareness. Know that what they do to you is a reflection of the way they treat themselves.



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