Accepting Emotions When You Have BPD Will Improve Your Health

It is important to make the distinction between acceptance annd resignation. Accepting emotions does not mean that you resign yourself to always feeling terrible or wallowing in pain. It also doesn't mean that you hold on to painful emotions or try to push yourself to experience emotional pain. Acceptance simply means being aware of your emotions and accepting them for what they are right now, knowing that they won't last.

In some ways, accepting emotions means also accepting that emotions will change. When we are happy, we have to accept that happiness is a short-term condition; we will not always be happy. This goes for every type of emotion, from fear to anxiety to sadness. Feelings are fleeting and usually go away within seconds, minutes, or hours.

What is the point of trying to accept your emotions, and wouldn’t it be easier to simply get rid of them? 

Well, no, it isn’t easy to get rid of emotions. In fact, most people with BPD have tried to get rid of their emotions with little success. What they have learned, and what research supports, is that it is very difficult, if not impossible, to simply get rid of an emotion.

We have emotions for a reason, so you shouldn't want to get rid of them completely. 

Emotions are part of a complex system that help us decide what we should stay away from and what we should approach. Emotions also help us keep lasting relationships with other people. Without emotions, we would make terrible decisions all the time. Therefore, accepting emotions is helpful, because when we listen to our emotions, we can actually learn important information.

There are a few reasons why people with BPDm in particular, have trouble accepting emotions, although it is imporant to note that everyone has trouble accepting emotions sometimes.

First, people with BPD are often raised in emotionally invalidating environments. These are environments where feelings are not accepted. Sometimes people with BPD were punished for expressing feelings, or sometimes they were told that they were weak for having feelings. This can lead a person with BPD to have trouble accepting their own emotions in adult life.

Second, people with BPD experience very intense emotions and this intensity makes it harder to accept those emotions. People with BPD will often describe feeling that they are afraid their emotions will “overwhelm” or “destroy” them. As a result, many people with BPD feel very afraid of their emotions and are convinced they cannot tolerate their feelings.